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Clips from Workaholics - Muscle I'd Like to Flex (S01E01)

"It's cool."
Workaholics
"- Did he just bring those from home?"
Workaholics
"And the wizard beats, he says they make him stronger,"
Workaholics
"which... they do."
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"- That, I understand. - Yeah."
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"- Mind if I light up?"
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"- Free country."
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"Ahh."
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"Ahh."
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"Whew."
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"- That's Sharon Livanos. She owns the building."
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"What the fuck is he doing?"
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"so we're just cuttin' loose."
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"- Yeah, I mean, we were really pulling our hair out."
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"But I'm sure he'll be done in a minute"
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"and get in here, flex that sales muscle for you."
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"Oh, my- - Okay!"
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"- Jesus Christ. - Wow."
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"- Oh, my gosh, is that a over-the-pants handy?"
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"- Oh."
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"- Whoa."
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"- Yeah, Adam."
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"Uh, you're just-you're missing wizard rehearsal again."
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"So I'm just kind of worried sick about you,"
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"wondering where you are."
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"So-oh, here you are. You are here."
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"You're- you're here in person."
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"I'll talk to you... now."
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"Hey. - Dude, what the hell?"
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"Where have you been? It's been, like, three days."
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"- Have you guys ever met someone"
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"that just gets you on all levels,"
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"makes you feel like your souls are boning each other"
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"in the spirit world?"
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"- Are you talking about that super-old lady"
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"from the roof?"
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"- Sharon is as old as my mom is."
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"And her and my dad have sex on the regular."
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"Oh, and, "fwi,""
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"I did it."
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"So I'm gonna be moving out."
Workaholics
"- Okay, it's not not "fwi.""
Workaholics
"It's FYI, "for your information.""
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"- Okay, Ders."
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"I know how to spell, all right?"
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"And in the 75 hours that I've known Sharon,"
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"than you guys ever have."
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"- Dude, you can't just move out."
Workaholics
"What about rent?"
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"- Yeah, what about, uh, the wizards,"
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"Rm Fafinwa?"
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"- You guys should come over sometime."
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"Oh, and "fwi," Ders..."
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"- Huh!"
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"So what are we thinking?"
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"- I'm thinking we got to break these two up."
Workaholics
"Lover boy is in for a rude awakening."
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"- Rude!"
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"- All right, here's the deal."
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"I'm gonna get in there, seduce Sharon Old Norse style,"
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"bed her down, and Adam will never want a piece of her again."
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"- Wait. Why do you always get to seduce the girls?"
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"You know that. - Yeah, that's true."
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"Never could."
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"Actually, I've never had the opportunity yet."
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"- Sharon,"
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"my work friends are here!"
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"- Hey, buddy."
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"These are for you."
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"- Thank you. - Wow, lookin' good."
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"- Thank you! Let me show you in."
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"'- Cause this pad is... - sick!"
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"- He looks Asian. Wow. - He looks somethin'."
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"- Whee! Welcome to my house!"
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"Cool pad, right?"
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"We're just thinking of knocking some walls out this bitch,"
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"just really making it our own, you know what I mean?"
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"It was her house. Now it's gonna be our house."
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"So we kind of have to adjust to that whole sitch."
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"- Hey, buddy, someday, I hope I have a house like this."
Workaholics
"- Keep dreamin'. Takes a lot of hard work."
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"So I doubt you're ready for it, but..."
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"- Where's this little pond you call a pool?"
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"- Pool? Right out here. Guess what."
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"Sharon has this dude that comes, cleans it..."
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"weekly."
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"- No! Hey, wait. - Hang on."
Workaholics
"- Why don't you let Ders hit the pool?"
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"- Oh, you want the "el touro de la grando", huh?"
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"- That's Spanish. I'm learning Spanish."
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"- I'm gonna check out the pool."
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"- Spanish-style, Spanish-style home."
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"- I'll see you guys."
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"- And this is the bedroom,"
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"- Ho, ho, ho, ho! - Yeah, a lot of magic."
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"Lots 0' magic."
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"Careful, this door handle's a little loose."
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"Why? 'Cause of magic."
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"Magic happened on this step"
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"and some magic here."
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"So this is her son's bedroom,"
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"AKA Magic Town."
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"I get up something like this"
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"and just do a lot of magic this way."
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"- Magic. - Nope, turkey bacon."
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"Good guess, though."
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"- Hey, legs, Anders Holmvik,"
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"junior national champion, 2005."
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"- Oh. You work for Adam, right?"
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"'Work." Is that what he said?"
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"That's great."
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"No, I'm like a, uh..."
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"father figure to the kid."
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"You ever see any butterflies?"
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"You see that?"
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"I just flipped off that."
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"You got that butterfly joke, right?"
Workaholics
"- Yeah, I don't swim, so..."
Workaholics
"- Well, it's never too late to learn."
Workaholics
"- Deal."
Workaholics
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