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Clips from The Odd Couple - The Ghostwriter (S01E01)

"Like being wrapped in bacon, sitting on a donut."
The Odd Couple
"Emily, can I get a drink here?"
The Odd Couple
"Oh, sure."
The Odd Couple
"I'm not a bartender, but what the heck."
The Odd Couple
"I'm learning all sorts of new things today."
The Odd Couple
"Like day-old bread makes great croutons,"
The Odd Couple
"and rats don't die right away in those traps."
The Odd Couple
"Stay out of my moneymaker's brain."
The Odd Couple
"Sorry, Teddy. It must be tough for you,"
The Odd Couple
"knowing that your livelihood depends"
The Odd Couple
"on another person's fragile creativity."
The Odd Couple
"I wouldn't be surprised if under all that anger"
The Odd Couple
"Oh, good luck getting in here."
The Odd Couple
"I'm gonna call the publisher and see if I can buy us some time."
The Odd Couple
"How'd you get out of the tent?"
The Odd Couple
"like Moneyball or Seabiscuit."
The Odd Couple
"But instead, I'm cranking out a book"
The Odd Couple
"about a guy who has two talents..."
The Odd Couple
"catching baseballs and not catching chlamydia."
The Odd Couple
"until someone shoves it in your face."
The Odd Couple
"At first I thought you were crazy for being so picky,"
The Odd Couple
"but now I see how all those details make a difference."
The Odd Couple
"What?"
The Odd Couple
"Oh, for God's sake, what is wrong now?"
The Odd Couple
"Are the seeds too close together?"
The Odd Couple
"Is the lettuce too emotionally available?"
The Odd Couple
"I take pictures of hamburgers."
The Odd Couple
"I dreamed of being Annie Leibovitz or Richard Avedon,"
The Odd Couple
"I am not an artist."
The Odd Couple
"I am a merchant of death!"
The Odd Couple
"Felix, can I get you anything?"
The Odd Couple
"I'll have what he's having."
The Odd Couple
"An existential crisis."
The Odd Couple
"It's only my first day."
The Odd Couple
"into the dreams of your youth."
The Odd Couple
"Hey, I have an idea."
The Odd Couple
"Why don't you both..."
The Odd Couple
"I beg your pardon?"
The Odd Couple
""Waa, waa, waa."
The Odd Couple
"I'm not as famous as some famous person.""
The Odd Couple
""Waa, waa, Seabiscuit.""
The Odd Couple
"Do you guys realize how lucky you are?"
The Odd Couple
"You get paid to do what you love."
The Odd Couple
"Look at me."
The Odd Couple
"Instead of designing jewelry,"
The Odd Couple
"I've spent the day scrubbing toilets"
The Odd Couple
"and putting out a grease fire."
The Odd Couple
"We really lost perspective there, right, Oscar?"
The Odd Couple
"And, Emily, we believe in you."
The Odd Couple
"All of this... this is just part of your journey."
The Odd Couple
"Yeah, all this struggle is going to make you a better artist."
The Odd Couple
"Huh."
The Odd Couple
"I never thought of it that way."
The Odd Couple
"Thank you."
The Odd Couple
"Well, onward and upward."
The Odd Couple
"- (laughs) - Go get 'em."
The Odd Couple
"- God, her life is a train wreck. - Ooh."
The Odd Couple
"Hey, well, I had to beg,"
The Odd Couple
"but I bought us a couple of days."
The Odd Couple
"All right, I'm gonna go upstairs and write that book."
The Odd Couple
"All right, so you're done playing"
The Odd Couple
"Midlife Crisis: White People Edition?"
The Odd Couple
"- No, you can't. - No, I can't."
The Odd Couple
"Yeah."
The Odd Couple
"While you are writing, Oscar,"
The Odd Couple
"I will gratefully rededicate myself"
The Odd Couple
"- Teddy, no! - Screw this diet. I'm starving."
The Odd Couple
"Oh, there you are. I just finished setting up."
The Odd Couple
"Hey!"
The Odd Couple
"Felix thought Emily's business could use a little boost,"
The Odd Couple
"and he said it right in front of me, so I had to agree."
The Odd Couple
"- Hi. - I think I will take this tie clasp."
The Odd Couple
"Yeah, I wasn't gonna say anything."
The Odd Couple
"Thank you, Felix. That'll be $45."
The Odd Couple
"So what about you, Oscar?"
The Odd Couple
"- Does anything catch your eye? - Yeah."
The Odd Couple
"I think I'll take these cuff links for my friend Murph."
The Odd Couple
"Oh."
The Odd Couple
"Oh. Those are $600."
The Odd Couple
"Guys don't buy guys jewelry."
The Odd Couple
"Oh, nothing like a good nap."
The Odd Couple
"How long was I sleep?"
The Odd Couple
"About 30 hours."
The Odd Couple
"Have you been back there the whole time?"
The Odd Couple
"Yeah, I curled up in the bathtub."
The Odd Couple
"I like to sleep someplace cocoon-like"
The Odd Couple
"to simulate the support I never got from my mother, or my wife."
The Odd Couple
"Want to dig into that one?"
The Odd Couple
"Hey, Marcus Murphy, I got both your sex tapes!"
The Odd Couple
"Yes..."
The Odd Couple
"that's the spot."
The Odd Couple
"the ice cream is actually just lard,"
The Odd Couple
"I'm just here for the free WI-FI."
The Odd Couple
"Now, our featured bun must be perfectly symmetrical"
The Odd Couple
"with a golden crust."
The Odd Couple
"Yeah, you can talk all you want... you're paying me."
The Odd Couple
"When I drink bourbon, I like to touch people's... teeth."
The Odd Couple
"You had your fun, but now it's time to..."
The Odd Couple
"Take a nap here, Roy."
The Odd Couple
"the clumping of these sesame seeds."
The Odd Couple
"This girl recognized me at the liquor store."
The Odd Couple
"Great. I haven't started it yet,"
The Odd Couple
"or as I call it, illuminating the soul."
The Odd Couple
"don't we need a picture of me for the book flap?"
The Odd Couple
"I can't keep wasting time."
The Odd Couple
"You guys have 20 minutes!"
The Odd Couple
"- I thought this might be for you. - Yep."
The Odd Couple
"something I did for "mad money"."
The Odd Couple
"So it's all good."
The Odd Couple
"Yes, yes."
The Odd Couple
"No, it's not that."
The Odd Couple
"I don't know. It just seems so weird"
The Odd Couple
"but it turns out, she also liked my poetry."
The Odd Couple
"The camera does not lie."
The Odd Couple
"what made you happy."
The Odd Couple
"baseball is only a small part of who you are."
The Odd Couple
"Learning through failure!"
The Odd Couple
"We've had a breakthrough. Turns out Murph has many layers."
The Odd Couple
"- What's happening? - Oh, no, no, Murph,"
The Odd Couple
"Oh, that math teacher screwed him in more ways than one."
The Odd Couple
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