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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The TiVo Guy (S06E06)

"SEE, LOOK AT THAT. IT JUMPS AND THEN IT FREEZES."
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"- I JUST TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ME. - SHOCKING."
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"BY THE WAY, HOW COME YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP LAST THURSDAY?"
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"( phone ringing )"
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"YOU KNOW, IT JUST GETS A LITTLE FRUSTRATING."
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"EVERY TIME I SIT DOWN AND WATCH IT, IT'S NOT WORKING."
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"- WE'RE GOING THROUGH A REALLY BIG STORM RIGHT NOW. - Hold on one second."
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"DO YOU HAVE A-- DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE WARRANTY CARD IS"
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"- I don't make it home... - YOU KNOW WHO THE GUY WAS WHO CAME AND PUT THIS THING IN?"
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"- I just want you to know-- - OR DON? SOMETHING LIKE THAT?"
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"I'M LEAVING, LARRY. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE."
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"DOES THAT REALLY SURPRISE YOU?"
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"I COULDN'T EVEN GET THE GUY TO COME TO THE HOUSE."
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"- OH, REALLY? - I GOT IT FIXED FOR YOU."
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"YOU'VE GOTTA BE A MORON IF YOU CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE."
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"- NO, THERE'S ANOTHER SIDE. - THERE'S NO OTHER SIDE!"
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"I STARTED TALKING TO THE GUY NEXT TO ME"
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"AT ALL TIMES LIKE I DO, HUH?"
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"- WHAT DOES HE DO? - HE OWNS AN UNDERWEAR COMPANY."
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"- MM-HMM, YES. - OH, AN UNDERWEAR COMPANY. WHAT KIND OF UNDERWEAR?"
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"HE INVENTED--"
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"I'M GONNA BE AT MY SISTER'S."
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"- DON'T DO THIS. THIS IS CRAZY, HONEY. - LARRY."
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"I LOVE YOU. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"
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"YOU KNOW, SHE WAS COMING BACK ON A PLANE, AND THERE WAS A STORM,"
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"HE'S KIND OF TALKING TO ME, GOING--"
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"- THAT'S THE ONLY ONE I HAD CLEAN. - WHAT?"
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"AND... I TOLD HER TO CALL ME BACK IN 10 MINUTES."
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"WHAT A SCUMBAG. TAKES ADVANTAGE OF A MARRIED WOMAN WHO'S SCARED."
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"SHE HAS A TERRIFIC BODY."
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"CHERYL'S A GREAT GIRL,"
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"LISTEN, THIS IS A TIME THAT WE HAVE TO STAND BEHIND LARRY."
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"I FORGOT TO CANCEL MY RESERVATIONS AT PRIMO'S."
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"I'M-- I'M GONNA HAVE TO CANCEL."
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"MY WIFE LEFT ME."
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"IT WOULD BE NICE JUST TO GET A LITTLE MORE NOTICE"
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"MAXWELLS?"
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"- YOU OKAY? - WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"
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"- TO CANCEL OUR RESERVATION. - YEAH."
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"WHY I WAS CANCELING,"
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"YOU WANT ME TO CALL A STRANGER AT A RESTAURANT"
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"- AND THAT'S WHY THEY HAD TO CANCEL? - YOU WOULD."
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"YEAH WELL, EXCUSE ME. I GOTTA ACTUALLY GET THIS STUFF."
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"CHERYL, DON'T GO. COME ON."
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"COME ON, JUST STAY. DON'T, DON'T."
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"( doorbell chimes )"
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"$10,000 HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PARTY."
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"I'M NOT USING THAT MONEY FOR THAT. I USED THE MONEY"
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"IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE THIS PARTY."
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"- BECAUSE THEY-- DON'T THINK OF THEM AS-- - WELL, I SEE THEM"
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"- YEAH. - I'LL SEE YOU AT MAXWELLS."
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"AND... WE CHOSE CHERYL."
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"YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY?"
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"DISINVITES ME FROM THE PARTY, CHOOSING CHERYL."
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"CHERYL TOOK CARE OF ALL THAT STUFF."
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"YOU KNOW WHAT I GOT IN MY FOYER AT HOME?"
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"- IT'S RIPPED. - SHE DOESN'T COME IN ANYMORE."
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"HOW AM I GONNA GET ANOTHER PICTURE?"
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"YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL GET AHOLD OF HER AGENT"
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"- I'M SORRY. - THAT'S ALL RIGHT."
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"LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION."
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"- I THINK YOU DO KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. - NO, WE'RE JUST FULL TONIGHT."
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"SURE, COME RIGHT IN."
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"( chuckles ) YOU TOTALLY DESERVE THAT."
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"ALL RIGHT, YEAH, NO NO NO,"
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"I GET THAT IT WAS PAYBACK, BUT--"
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"IT'S NOT LONG DISTANCE EVEN IF IT'S IN INDIA."
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"SO I'M ON THE 14th HOLE, OKAY?"
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"- I'VE GOT SOMEONE ON THE OTHER LINE. - SO I REACH DOWN"
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"- "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? THAT'S MY CIGAR!" - I'LL CALL YOU BACK."
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"- OH, REALLY? - YEAH YEAH."
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"JESUS CHRIST. I'M LITERALLY SITTING MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS..."
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"WHAT A SCHMUCK. HE'S BEEN TALKING ON HIS PHONE THE WHOLE DINNER."
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"HE THINKS HE CAN JUST SIT THERE AND TALK OUT LOUD NOT BE ANNOYING."
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"DO YOU HEAR THAT? HE'S LITERALLY JUST DOING IT"
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"HONESTLY, I'M DONE ANYWAY. THIS IS BULLSHIT."
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"- I'M PAYING. I DON'T CARE. - NO, CAN YOU HEAR HIM?"
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"- GOOD FOR YOU, BEING ANNOYING. - ...DO ME A FAVOR."
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"- HI, JODI. - HEY."
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"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW? LET'S PLAY GOLF."
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"( knocks )"
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"I WORK FOR MRS. CHERYL."
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"I AM, AND..."
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"THIS IS GLENN. THIS IS LARRY."
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"NICE HEAD OF HAIR."
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"OKAY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
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"- WELL-- - YOU'RE NOT GIVING PEOPLE AN OPTION."
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"- IS THAT GLENN WITH TWO "N"s? - IT IS, IN FACT."
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"Larry: YOU KNOW WHAT? I WOULDN'T CARE--"
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"- BUT THIS IS, LIKE, THE WORST BETRAYAL. - WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE?"
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"A GUY WHO GOES INTO A STORE AND GOES, "I NEED A PAIR OF UNDERWEAR."
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"- NO-FLY UNDERWEAR. - ( cell rings )"
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"OH. OH, YEAH."
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"I HAVE NO--"
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"- "...LUCY LAWLESS." - THANK YOU SO MUCH."
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"I NOT ONLY GET YOU THE PICTURE,"
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"- WOW, YOU MAKE LOVELY "L"s. - YOU GOT MY DRY CLEANING?"
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"- HEY, THAT WAS SO NICE OF YOU TO DO THAT. - OH, YOU'RE WELCOME."
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"TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA BE MORE BOWLED OVER"
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"BY YOUR PRESENCE. HE TOOK IT PRETTY CALMLY."
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"- ( laughs ) - WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?"
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"CAN I DO THAT? IS THAT POSSIBLE?"
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"ALL RIGHT, YEAH. WELL, YOU'VE GOT MY NUMBER."
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"- YEAH, NICE TO SEE YOU. - YOU TOO."
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"WHAT IS THAT? "CALL ME"?"
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"I ASKED HER FOR A DATE. HERE'S WHAT I SAID."
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""I'M NOT REALLY A COOL GUY OR ANYTHING,""
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"WHICH IS A PRETTY GOOD LINE I THOUGHT."
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"I NEVER DID THAT WHEN I WAS DATING, ADMIT THAT I WASN'T A COOL GUY."
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"YEAH. YEAH."
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"( laughing )"
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"- NO, YOU LOOK GOOD. - YOU'RE COOL, MAN. YOU'RE COOL."
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"SORRY YOU GOTTA MISS THAT LAKER GAME."
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"- YOU ALL RIGHT? - LEON, GO HELP HIM."
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"Larry: SO WHAT'S THE DEAL?"
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"- YEAH, WHAT'S THE DEAL? - I WAS JUST ABOUT TO EXPLAIN."
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"WHEN YOU TWISTED YOUR BODY,"
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"SWITCHING TO A STYLE OF UNDERWEAR WITH NO FLY."
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"YOU GOT LONG BALLS, LARRY. LONG BALLS."
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"- YOU GOT LONG-ASS BALLS. - I'VE GOT LONG BALLS?"
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