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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Episode #2.7 (S02E02)

"Where the dice?"
Chappelle's Show
"Yo, give me that money, son!"
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"Something told me just to empty the trash."
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"Well, Rob, I gotta admit,"
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"I saw this robbery coming from a mile away,"
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"Quick thinking."
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"That's right bitch, get them goddamn clothes off."
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"Get that money up, get that money up!"
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"Okay, okay."
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"So, on behalf of Bill Burr and Quills,"
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"Get that ring off, get that ring off, man!"
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"Sorry honey."
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"So long from the Marcy Projects"
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"and "The World Series of Dice.""
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"Hopefully, next year,"
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"we'll be able to get all the way through it,"
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"but probably not."
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"Shut the fuck up, man!"
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"(applauding)"
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"We're gonna take a quick commercial break."
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"Don't go anywhere."
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"Look out..."
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"Turn on your TV..."
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"What you gonna see?"
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"Welcome back."
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"Welcome back to the Chappelle's Show."
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"I'm Dave and I "keep it real.""
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"Sometimes "keeping it real" can go horribly wrong."
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"We got to pick our spots."
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"It's good to be real sometimes;"
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"it's good to be phony sometimes."
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"Yes, I said it."
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"Phony!"
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"You think I'm this nice in real life?"
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"It's because I'm on TV."
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"I'm wild!"
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"I pull my balls out right now, I don't care."
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"Skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet."
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"ain't the best thing, then take a look at this."
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"Vernon Franklin was an exceptional young man."
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"He was the valedictorian of his high school class,"
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"won several scholarships,"
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"and became the first person in his family to attend college."
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"quickly becoming the youngest Vice President"
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"in the history of the Viacorp Corporation,"
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"ending the cycle of violence and drug addiction"
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"that had plagued his family for generations."
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"The officers of his company were wrapping up the usual"
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"Thursday meeting in the south conference room"
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"when Frank Murphy, the man who had mentored Vernon,"
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"made an awkward comment."
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"Vernon, great job, buddy!"
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"You the man!"
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"Give me some skin, huh!"
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"Vernon got along with all of the people he worked with,"
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"which in his heart of hearts made him feel"
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"like an Uncle Tom."
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"Vernon decided to "keep it real.""
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"Get your motherfucking hand out of my face."
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"with all this crazy jive."
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"That's bullshit."
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"Do you want a little soft shoe?"
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"Should I juggle some watermelons for you, boss?"
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"Fuck all that, nigga."
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"Hey, Vernon, buddy..."
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"This ain't a game."
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"This isn't the Vernon I know."
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"Allow me reintroduce myself, my name is Homes."
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"just for walking around my way!"
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"Vernon, Vernon, buddy..."
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"you better sit the fuck down, Frank."
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"Vernon."
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"I said sit down, bitch."
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"Thug life!"
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"You think it's a game, nigger?"
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"Today, Vernon works at "Sonny's Filler-Up""
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"on Route 80 in New Jersey."
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"He makes $6.45 an hour"
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"It's as real as it can be."
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"A dollar?"
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"What am I gonna get with a dollar, nigga?"
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"Vernon Franklin, once a heartwarming story"
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"...today, a sparkling example"
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"The greatest show."
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"Tonight's musical guests,"
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"two of Chicago's finest MCs,"
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"Common Sense, yeah"
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"yeah, it's Common Sense"
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"with Kanye West on the Dave Chappelle show."
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"I walked in the crib"
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"got two kids and my baby mamma late"
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"uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh"
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"so I had to did what I had to did"
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"'cause I had the kid"
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"until the blue and white's"
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"po-po po-po po-po"
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"but at least a nigga know slow motion better than"
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"no-oh no-oh no-oh"
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"you love to hear the story again and again"
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"about these young brothers from the city of wind"
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"like juice and gin in the city we blend"
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"amongst the hustle, titties and skin"
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"50s and rims"
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"y'all know the sprewell's and trucks that's detailed"
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"heartless females that wanna ride in 'em"
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"felt the southside venom with rawhides and denim"
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"pimp minds collide with 'em in a system that tries victims"
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"we livin' it my man in the fast lane pivotin'"
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"on the block white is sellin' like Eminem"
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"on the block is hot you can feel it in your skin and then"
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"shorties get the game but no instructions to assembling"
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"eyes bright it seems like the fight is dimmin' them"
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"call my man cuzo like I'm kin to him"
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"he tryin' to stay straight the streets is bendin' him"
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"got two kids and my baby mamma late"
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"uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh"
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"and so I to did what I had to did 'cause I had the kid"
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"duh-ough duh-ough duh-ough"
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"yo, I'm up all night gettin' my money right"
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"until the blue and white's"
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