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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - The Pre-Nup (S08E08)

"Everyone was happy as can be."
How I Met Your Mother
"The official kickoff of what came to be known..."
How I Met Your Mother
"you don't need scallion cream cheese."
How I Met Your Mother
"Secondly, Quinn is a great girl. I trust her."
How I Met Your Mother
"And then she took everything!"
How I Met Your Mother
"It's important for the girls..."
How I Met Your Mother
"to maintain a relationship with their daddy."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Imitates Explosion ]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Everyone does that."
How I Met Your Mother
"So... Lily?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- You definitely can't do that. - Mm-mmm."
How I Met Your Mother
"“All hair below the neck must be removed weekly.”"
How I Met Your Mother
"based on mutual respect between two equals."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Women ] Whoo!"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Chattering Laughing]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Best husband ever!"
How I Met Your Mother
"But is it really crazy?"
How I Met Your Mother
"So last night, Nick was all like..."
How I Met Your Mother
"“Barney has a point about renegotiating the terms..."
How I Met Your Mother
"If I shut my eyes, ifs like they're here."
How I Met Your Mother
"Those brave bearded men and Women are crypto-zoologists..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and they deserve the respect that title commands!"
How I Met Your Mother
"But that's not What I was thinking of."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, when we first came home with Marvin, there was a bad moment."
How I Met Your Mother
"Actually, it was two voices."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Oh. - Oh, I'm sorry."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [ TV: No Audio] - Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother
"You won't believe What Ted did last night."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Exhales ] Klaus came to me a few weeks ago."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Sobbing ] I'm so sorry."
How I Met Your Mother
"You'll stay here till you're back on your feet."
How I Met Your Mother
"Are you sure? This is your apartment."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, hero Ted. He loves that move."
How I Met Your Mother
"Here comes papa, children."
How I Met Your Mother
"Klaus?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I had no say in the matter."
How I Met Your Mother
"I am gonna go home and watch the news all by myself. Mm-hmm."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Chuckles ]"
How I Met Your Mother
"“A half million-dollar fine..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, yeah? How about forbidding-"
How I Met Your Mother
"That's not love."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Sighs]"
How I Met Your Mother
"made me scared we're never gonna escape the past."
How I Met Your Mother
"Next."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh."
How I Met Your Mother
"Now I wish I could say it every clay."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hello, Darlene?"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Robin On TV, Faint]"
How I Met Your Mother
"You slept with half the Women in New York. I'm the one who needs a prenup."
How I Met Your Mother
"It should be simpler than this, shouldn't it?"
How I Met Your Mother
"♪ You can always go home ♪"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, hey, you. Ready for lunch?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother
"You know, it's big comedy..."
How I Met Your Mother
"but you also really care about these characters."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Man ] Wilhelm!"
How I Met Your Mother
"♪ ♪ [ Slide Whistle Tone Descends]"
How I Met Your Mother
"[All Laughing]"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Laughter Continues ]"
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Ted Narrating ] Kids, the summer of 2012 was the summer of love-"
How I Met Your Mother
"Barney and Quinn..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Robin and Nick .."
How I Met Your Mother
"Lily Marshall and Marvin."
How I Met Your Mother
"[All sigh]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Which means there are absolutely no good stories."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Let's skip ahead- - [Sound Speeds Up]"
How I Met Your Mother
"- To October 2012- - [ No Audible Dialogue]"
How I Met Your Mother
"as the autumn of breakups."
How I Met Your Mother
"Get a prenup, or I'll neuter you before she ever has a chance!"
How I Met Your Mother
"First of all, if you have an onion bagel..."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Gagging]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, well, Darlene was a great girl. I trusted her."
How I Met Your Mother
"My house, my car-"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Voice Breaking] my dog, Tugboat."
How I Met Your Mother
"I even lost outwith the kids."
How I Met Your Mother
"Full custody! I got full custody of those kids!"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Your kids are horrible. - The Worst."
How I Met Your Mother
"Barney, I watched as Darlene out everything good out of my life..."
How I Met Your Mother
"like a deranged surgeon hacking out organs..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and that's not a metaphor."
How I Met Your Mother
"She got one of my kidneys."
How I Met Your Mother
"♪ ♪ [ “Shower Theme” from Psycho ]"
How I Met Your Mother
"That's her ringtone."
How I Met Your Mother
"I have nothing left to give you, Darlene!"
How I Met Your Mother
"♪ ♪ [ Man Vocalizing ]"
How I Met Your Mother
"♪ ♪ [ Ends ]"
How I Met Your Mother
"You won't believe what Barney did today."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, you ready for lunch?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, there she is."
How I Met Your Mother
"The future Mrs. Barney Stimson. Mmm."
How I Met Your Mother
"You better enjoy signing your name Quinn Garvey..."
How I Met Your Mother
"While you still can, right?"
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Chuckling ] Like, I don't know..."
How I Met Your Mother
"here, here, here-Initial here."
How I Met Your Mother
"- What is this? - Oh, this is our prenup."
How I Met Your Mother
"Black or blue? Totally up to you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Um, can I read it first?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Can you believe that? He wants me to sign a prenup."
How I Met Your Mother
"Can you believe that? She wants to read it first."
How I Met Your Mother
"Go ahead and sign. It's all pretty standard."
How I Met Your Mother
"“In the event of divorce, Mr. Stinson is granted weekly visitation rights..."
How I Met Your Mother
"to Ann, Sarah and Molly.”"
How I Met Your Mother
"You named our future kids?"
How I Met Your Mother
"That's actually pretty sweet."
How I Met Your Mother
"Those are Mr. Stinson's names for your lady parts."
How I Met Your Mother
"You named her lady parts?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Snap, Crackle, Pop. [ Pops]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Solid."
How I Met Your Mother
"Wait. Is this prenup in any Way legit?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I mean, so far, it sounds a lot like that bar-napkin document..."
How I Met Your Mother
"you make one-night stands sign, promising not to get clingy."
How I Met Your Mother
"The pre-shtup, patent pending."
How I Met Your Mother
"Are these rules for how I have to behave in our marriage?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Rules? [ Scoffs ]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Suggestions."
How I Met Your Mother
"Rich people and celebrities put stuff like this..."
How I Met Your Mother
"in their prenups all the time..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and those are the marriages that last."
How I Met Your Mother
"I have to pay $2,000 every time I gain a pound?"
How I Met Your Mother
"[ Chuckling ] Not every time."
How I Met Your Mother
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