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Clips from The Simpsons - Tales from the Public Domain (S13E13)

"Murdered, I tells you! Really?"
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"Behold! As I slept, your Uncle Claudius poured poison in my ear."
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"Poison most foul!"
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"So he could marry your mother and become the king!"
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"Yeah, that was quite a weekend."
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"Now you must avenge me. Avenge me!"
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"How? I don't know."
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"Surprise me."
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"Surprise me!"
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"Could that fat ghost be telling the truth?"
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"First, I've gotta get Uncle Claudius to confess."
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"It's cold outside. You'll need a sweater. A sweater!"
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"you just might be a Viking!"
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"That's what I get for sitting up front, eh?"
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"I love these jesters."
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"They're exactly what I need to forget about my first husband."
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"Yeah, I really miss the old guy."
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"It was all I could do to put on his jewels"
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"and score with his wife every night."
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"How are you doing, kid? Nice to see you."
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"Now we would like to warn you, our performances"
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"tend to make audience members blurt out hidden secrets."
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"Oh, boy."
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"Aha! Methinks the play's the thing"
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"wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king."
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"Catch my conscience? What?"
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"You're not supposed to hear me. That's a soliloquy."
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"Note to self. Kill that kid."
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"Okay, we're gonna open it up with a little improv."
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"Somebody shout out a location!"
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"This castle! Okay."
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"How about an occupation?"
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"Usurper of the throne!"
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"I think I heard "usurper of the throne. ""
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"Now finally, I need an object."
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"Ear poison!"
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"Hey, do you have diarrhea?"
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"Sit down!"
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"Wait a minute! I didn't use that much poison!"
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"I mean, I didn't use that much poi, son, at the royal luau."
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"Oh, great. Now Hamlet's acting crazy."
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"Well nobody out-crazies Ophelia."
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"Hamlet, what'd I tell you about running with swords?"
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"Someone's behind the curtain. It could be Claudius."
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"Only one way to find out."
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"Ow!"
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"Polonius? What are you doing behind the curtain?"
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"Daddy's stomach is crying."
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"Laertes, you gotta do a special big-boy job for Daddy."
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"I need you to avenge my death."
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"Cute kid. But just in case you don't kill Hamlet,"
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"I put some poison on the food, on the drapes,"
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"even on Rosencarl and Guildenlenny here."
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"If Hamlet touches either of us, he's dead."
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"Now, Hamlet, you know the rules."
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"Laertes here gets one practice stab."
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"Boy, did I bet on the wrong horse."
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"Now there's nothing to stop me from getting my vengeance."
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"You sure you don't want a nice piece of fish,"
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"or to finger the drapes a little?"
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"This ends here!"
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"Remember me as a peacemaker."
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"And that's the greatest thing ever written."
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"Are you crazy?"
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"I can't believe a play where every character is murdered"
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"could be so boring!"
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"Son, it's not only a great play,"
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"but also became a great movie called Ghostbusters."
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"English - US - PSDH"
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"Hey, that's kind of catchy."
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"Boy, who decided to give every weirdo an island?"
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"God wants you to lead the French army to what?"
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"What a thing to happen!"
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"You can't stop me! I was sent by God!"
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"Then I've gotta kill him."
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"Okay, well, I'll do a soliloquy, too."
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"I have diarrhea."
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"Daddy, it's true! Uncle Claudius murdered you!"
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"No way I'm cleaning up this mess."
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"Now throughout history, when people get wood,"
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"On the island Island of Sirens"
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"Discus Stu has ouzo for twozo."
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"Spare no one."
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"You're my lady"
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