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Clips from Three's Company - It's Only Money (S01E01)

"Look at Mr. Roper."
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"It's Mr. Roper."
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"Hi."
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"Hi. How you doing there?"
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"I'm fine, thank you."
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"I just came here to tell you--"
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"Mr. Roper, would you like to step inside for just a moment?"
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"Oh, thank you very much."
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"Thank you."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"To dinner tonight?"
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"[ Applause ]"
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"Are you still sulking about those kids walking out on you?"
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"I don't want to talk about it."
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"We discussed it enough last night."
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"You mean I discussed it."
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"You fell asleep right in the middle."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"I did not fall asleep."
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"You did too."
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"You fall asleep in the middle of everything."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"You know, I don't know how you do it, Helen."
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"Do what?"
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"You've only been up a half an hour but your tongue"
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"Has already put in an eight hour shift."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"Why'd they run away from me like that?"
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"You know, maybe there's something about you"
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"That I’ve grown used to that other people still notice."
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"Your tongue just went into overtime."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"Oh, you know, Stanley, you shouldn't blame the kids."
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"It was probably just a misunderstanding."
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"Not on my part."
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"You're right, dear."
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"I am?"
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"Yes."
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"So why don't you go up there again tonight and ask them"
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"out to dinner?"
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"After what they did to me, no, I’m not taking them any place."
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"Why should I?"
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"For me."
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"You've got to give me a better reason."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"All right, I will."
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"Now, I have a lot of things I was going to do today."
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"I was going to go shopping."
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"I was going to go to the beauty parlor."
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"I was going to have a walk on the beach, but I’m giving"
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"That all up so I can stay home with you and talk."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"And talk, and talk--"
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"Helen."
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"While you're reading your newspaper,"
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"While you're watching the TV, while you're taking your nap."
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"All right."
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"I'll do it."
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"You're not welcome."
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"What are we going to do about the rent?"
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"We can't go on avoiding Roper forever."
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"What about that boss of yours, that one who's always"
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"Chasing you around, you think you could get"
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"An advance out of him?"
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"Only if I let him catch me."
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"Where's Jack?"
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"He's in the bathroom."
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"And they talk about women."
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"You know, he stays in that bathroom twice as long as we do."
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"Well, he has to shave."
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"We have to put on our makeup."
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"And he likes to read in there."
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"Oh."
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"He says it kills two birds with one stone."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"Good morning."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"How you doing?"
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"Oh, gee."
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"Do you have to walk around the house in your underwear?"
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"This is not underwear, it's my bathing suit."
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"I ran out of clean shorts."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"Oh, well, in that case it's all right."
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"Why wasn't it all right before?"
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"Because before I thought it was your underwear."
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"Yeah, but it's still the same shorts."
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"You can't tell the difference."
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"I can."
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"Because your underpants have giraffes on them."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"You don't catch us walking around the apartment"
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"In our underwear."
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"You've been too quick for me."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"Hey, don't you have any friends who can loan us some money?"
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"The guys I know don't have that kind of dough,"
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"Except Charlie; he suddenly came into a lot of money."
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"Well, call him."
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"I can't, he's in jail."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"You're a big help."
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"Well, how about you two, you should be able to raise"
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"Some money."
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"Hey, why don't we have a garage sale?"
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"We don't have a garage."
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"We could rent one."
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"With what?"
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"With the money we make from the sale, dummy?"
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"How about you, Janet, can you get a loan?"
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"Oh, forget it."
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"I always have trouble getting loans,"
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"Even though I go in there with ten impeccable references."
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"What's the trouble?"
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"They always check them out."
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"Well, I guess no loans."
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"Loans."
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"Yes, loans."
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