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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Table Read (S07E07)

"It's an eye for an eye,"
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"not an eye that doesn't see very well."
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"That pen that I have in my possession"
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"This pen writes in blue ink"
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"exactly the same. It's the same eye."
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"You asked me to replace the pen."
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"- You didn't replace the pen. - I replaced it."
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"- You didn't replace it. - You got a pen."
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"- That whole fucking scene will be whitened the fuck up. - Seriously?"
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"- I'll do this shit. - Let me hear it."
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""How are you doing today? I'm Danny duberstein."
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"- It's a Jewish name. - Fuck it."
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"- Say that again? - "Bar mitzfit.""
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"All right, I'm going to get this."
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"- What are you doing? You going to get that? - Oh yeah, oh yeah."
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"You texted her with all caps and a lot of exclamations points."
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"Okay, I'll make it right."
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"I want you to be there, pretend like it was your idea, okay?"
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"- Some milk and cookies or something? - Thank you, I appreciate it."
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"You look wonderful. Very fit."
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"Yesterday at the newsstand,"
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"What was the $20 doing in my hand?"
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"Because I was using it to pay for a magazine. Can't you understand that?"
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"That money that you took out of my hands"
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"is the money that I would have put into your hands right now"
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"if not for the fact that you took it, so let's consider us even."
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"Oh, hey. Hi."
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"- Hello, Larry. - Hi."
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"For the text I sent you"
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"Maybe we should get something to eat."
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"Excuse me, can we get some menus?"
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"Hey, excuse me. Excuse me."
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"She needs to get out of here."
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"Is Larry here yet? I'm waiting for Larry."
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"Larry said he'd be here at 2:00."
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"Is there anything else that Larry could do?"
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"You know what?"
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"- A pen! - A pen."
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"- Stacy: It's a nice pen. - It's a beautiful pen."
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"But I thought you only got bar mitzvahed once."
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"You got to recharge the mitzvah,"
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"- So tell me about the groat's. - ( Sighs )"
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"If I'm fucking six women"
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"Danny duberstein's good at two things:"
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"Accountants don't look like this."
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"I Danny dubersteined the fuck out that man in that room."
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"Jerry, his planet was destroyed."
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"( Laughing ) oh, man."
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"So-called itoilets."
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"You know it."
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"- What's going on, Kramer? - I'm going to the ballgame."
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"- What's with the hat? Why's he wearing that hat? - That's my hat."
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"This is the look I'm going with, so..."
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"- Jerry said that to you? - Yes."
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"- Mrs. duberstein? - Yes."
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"Larry! Larry!"
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"Bet the suit threw you, baby."
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"What kind of lowlife are you?"
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"We're getting ourself all worked up for no reason, baby."
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"- No no no no! - If only there were a..."
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"You... ahh!"
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"- You know, I've got this rash. - Okay."
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"Do you have any idea how you may have gotten this rash?"
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"but I bought you another pen.""
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"( Laughing )"
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"( Theme music playing )"
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"- It's unwritten etiquette, George. - Who says so?"
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"No one knows. That's why it's unwritten."
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"Why? They wash it."
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"It's just not done in polite society."
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"- Even the impolite don't do it. - ( Laughter )"
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"- The other day you sneezed in a napkin. - That's different."
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"- Why? - A sneeze is involuntary."
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"You have 2.5 seconds before the bomb goes off."
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"Jason: Well, I live by my rules, not your rules."
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"- You would do this in front of your wife? - All the time."
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"I can't figure out why she left you."
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"- It's me. - ( Both ) oop."
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"Man: Kramer enters holding a newspaper."
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"Hey, George, did you see this?"
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"It's an article about Bernie madoff."
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"- Kramer, I... - No, look at this."
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"They got the floor plan of all his offices."
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"- Here's where he was. - Kramer, he... he doesn't..."
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"No, you couldn't get to him."
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"It was a Ponzi scheme."
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"Do I need this? I know what happened."
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"All right, so you lost a couple of million."
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"Well, it was more than a great idea."
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"An iPhone application that leads you via your GPS"
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"wherever you are in the world."
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"The itoilet. And I thought of it."
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"- I don't know. - How could you be so stupid?!"
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"( Jason crying ) all of it, Jerry."
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"- All of it. - Man: Elaine enters."
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"- Madoff? - ( laughter )"
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"Scene b, we're in Jerry's apartment. It's later."
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"Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer."
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"Jerr, can you do me a favor and babysit tonight?"
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"Jerry: Oh, I don't think so."
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"I figured you were busy."
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"Michael: No, I'm good with kids. I don't condescend to them."
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"I get right down to their level."
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"- Right down. - You don't say."
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"Oh, I do say."
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"Jerry, hey, did you give Isabel's doll a haircut?"
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"- The Judy doll? - Yes, Judy."
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"- A little trim. - Well, now you got to find a new Judy."
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"Children need consistency."
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"I can make that happen."
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"I think uncle Jerry should do it,"
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"which is what she's calling you, by the way."
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"Well, because I donated the sperm."
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"That's easy to say now"
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"after you lost everything."
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"( Laughter )"
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"It's all dried up out there."
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"You weren't working in the good economy."
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"Yeah, I guess that's true."
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"Man: Okay, please go to scene h. It's in the coffee shop."
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