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Clips from Three's Company - Coffee, Tea, or Jack (S02E02)

"That's 'cause you're standing so close to Jack."
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"Susan, let's go to The Regal Beagle. Oh, anything you say."
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"- You can't go! - Why not?"
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"You're supposed to go for a walk with me."
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"I can't wait till it rains. I want to go for a walk right now."
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"Well, when will you be back?"
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"Que será, será."
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"That's too late."
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"Some iceberg."
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"He went down like the Titanic."
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"I'm really worried. Me too, Chrissy. Me too."
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"It looks like we're gonna lose him."
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"He's gonna get hurt. And we're gonna have to cook our own meals."
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"She's gonna break his heart. And we're gonna have to cook our own meals."
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"His whole life will be ruined."
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"And we're gonna have to cook our own meals."
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"Oh, Janet! I just thought of something! What?"
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"If she takes Jack away, we're gonna have to cook our own meals."
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"Chrissy! Chrissy, how can you think of food at a time like this?"
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"I'm sorry. Well, all right."
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"Oh, Janet, what are we gonna do?"
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"Oh, that's a great idea."
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"You were supposed to take him there, remember? Oh, yeah."
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"Yeah. I can't do that now 'cause he's with Susan."
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"Yes, you can, Chrissy. You can just go down to The Regal Beagle..."
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"and pry him away from her. With what? A crowbar?"
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"You do not need any tools."
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"You can just use the equipment that you've got."
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"Are you saying... Do you want Jack to be hurt again?"
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"No. All right. Then get down to The Regal Beagle..."
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"and make him forget all about Susan."
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"Chrissy, all you have to do is just be alluring and be seductive... sexy."
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"Well, do you think I can do it?"
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"Oh, yes, yes!"
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"What has she got that you haven't got? Jack."
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"We gotta get you into some working clothes."
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"Oh! I don't have work clothes. This will work."
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"To you."
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"To us. Tonight."
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"To... Oh."
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"Oh, my goodness. Look at how late it's getting."
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"You missed me? Oh, yes."
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"I should never have let you run away from me like that."
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"That's funny. I always thought you were the one who left."
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"You didn't forget me, did you?"
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"[ Baby Talk ] How could I forget you?"
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"Oh, Susan, I used to think of you flying everywhere..."
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"Over the land and sea, those hills and valleys."
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"Oh, Jack, I want to fly with you. Where?"
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"Oh, you... Oh, you mean you want to... Oh, fly with me."
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"Is it time for takeoff?"
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"[ Gulps ] Well, yeah. I mean, I'm..."
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"Once we're up, we'll never come down."
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"[ Breathy ] Hi."
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"Hi."
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"What?"
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"Chrissy, I can't hear you. Speak up. I said hi!"
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"Hi. Hi."
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"I miss you so much, my darling."
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""Darling"? All right, Chrissy. What's the joke?"
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"I need you back at the apartment."
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"And I do mean need you."
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"Are you all right?"
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"Only when I'm with you."
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"What do you say you and me..."
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"Just you, big fella."
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"Oh! Oh!"
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"Oh, excuse me. I'm so sorry."
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"Chrissy! Yes?"
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"Go home. But... Go home. Now!"
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"Oh, Susan, I'm... I'm so sorry. I don't know"
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"before that strange creature so rudely interrupted?"
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"Well, you were about ready to take it off. I mean, take off."
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"I remember."
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"This time it's for keeps, huh, Susan?"
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"This time it's for keeps, Roger."
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"Roger? Hi, Susan."
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"Hello, Roger. I thought you were in Hong Kong."
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"we were having a private conversation... Uh, Jack,"
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"Roger, this is Jack Tripper."
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"Nice to meet you. How's your strokes, baby?"
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"Uh, tennis. He means tennis. We played tennis once."
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"Oh. Oh. What, you work for the same airline?"
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"Work and play, huh, baby?"
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"Listen, why don't we get going, Susan? What? Oh, sure."
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"Uh, Jack and I are old friends."
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"Oh? Yeah, friends for keeps, huh, Susan?"
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"That's right, darling."
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"That's right, Roger."
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"Let's get going. Oh, I'm sorry."
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"Jack! Are you all right?"
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"Yeah, I'm fine. I just got a little jolt. That's all."
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"Where's Jack? He should have been here a half hour ago."
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"Don't worry. He'll be here."
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"I'm not worried about him. I'm getting hungry."
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"Oh, Stanley, can't you wait?"
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"No. When a person wants something bad enough, he ought to get it."
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"I couldn't agree with you more."
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"- [ Doorbell Rings ] - There he is."
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"All right. I'll turn out the lights. Okay."
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"I did take it off."
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"Oh."
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"I'm opening the door right now!"
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"[ All ] Surprise!"
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"Oh, you shouldn't have. [ Snorts ]"
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"All right, Chrissy. All right. Now, where is Jack?"
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"He's still at The Regal Beagle."
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"You mean you weren't able to... No."
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"I acted as sexy as I could, and he wouldn't even look at me."
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"What did you expect when you sent a woman to do a man's job?"
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"You mean he's not even coming to his own birthday party?"
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"- No. - Wait a minute."
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"Stanley. I could have gotten..."
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"Christmas leftovers for a buck and a quarter. Stanley!"
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"No. Am I cheap? No, I go all out."
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"I get the expensive happy birthday ones."
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"Save your breath, Stanley. I don't have any left."
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"[ Doorbell Rings ] I thought this was gonna be such a fun evening."
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"Hi. Oh, Jack, it's so wonderful to see you!"
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"He's here! He's here!"
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