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Clips from Schitt's Creek - Estate Sale (S02E02)

"- No, not ours, no."
Schitt's Creek
"They put our stuff right on the lawn."
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"- Strangers picking through precious pieces we owned!"
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"- I know, and judging us,"
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"like we're judging this poor woman."
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"- I wonder who got my golf clubs."
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"Really, John, that's the first thing that comes to mind?"
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"- They were custom made."
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"- So was my Galapagonian tortoiseshell foot bath."
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"is letting his cats poop in it."
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"- Well, they were just things, Moira, just things."
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"- Yeah, designer, one-of-a-kind things."
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"- Yeah, sleek, oak-trimmed, leather interior,"
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"German-engineered things. - Oh!"
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"Shopping used to cheer me up."
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"Big bulbs is not doing it for me."
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"(Knock on door)"
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"- (Groans) Oh God."
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"- Sure, I'll come in, but just for a second."
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"BOTH: Ahem!"
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"- Huh! - (Laughs)"
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"- Well um, here's the deal:"
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"Uh, I was thinking this morning,"
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"And I don't wanna tell you where I was thinking,"
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"and I was sitting down-- - Okay."
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"- And I was thinking to myself,"
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"who can I trust to help me pick out a woman's blouse?"
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"And you know whose name came to mind?"
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"- I don't-I don't know, Rachel Zoe?"
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"- I don't know how to take that."
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"- It's for Jocelyn. - Mm!"
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"- And you know, I would do it myself,"
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"I mean, you go in, you get--"
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"you know, look at the stuff on the racks,"
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"- Uh huh... - and you pick out, you know, the colour that you like,"
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"and then you try it on and make sure it fits you,"
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"- Right. - and then you buy it and you--"
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"- You're just describing what shopping is."
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"it's just I'm looking for something a little fancy here."
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"A little um, stylish. A little elegant."
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"- Ah... - You know?"
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"And who knows elegance better than you, pal?"
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"I mean, you're the only elegant guy I know!"
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"- So you're looking for me to style Jocelyn?"
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"So I was kinda thinking that maybe um,"
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"you and me could just go out and do a little uh,"
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"shopping together on the down low."
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"- Y-Yeah... Yeah, that um..."
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"No, we could to that, we could do that at some point."
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"- Oh, great! - Yeah. Yeah."
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"- Good, that's terrific."
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"So then, whenever's good for you."
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"- Okay, great."
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"So you wanna-so you wanna go now?"
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"- It's a little time sensitive, that's the only thing."
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"- Yeah, okay, well, I take it you have measurements,"
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"and a mood board, then?"
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"- The whole purpose of having a bike"
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"might be to actually ride the bike."
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"- Yeah, I'm just not wearing the right outfit."
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"- It's a five minute ride."
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"- Yeah, so by the time we get on,"
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"and then we get off, it's almost not worth it."
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"- Do you not like the bike?"
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"- No, I love it! It's just that, um,"
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"there are so many drunk drivers around here."
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"- It's 10:00am."
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"- Mutt, you tell that to an alcoholic!"
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"- Is it the colour? Because I mean,"
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"it's totally fixable! - Okay, fine."
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"I don't know how to ride a bike."
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"- What? - I said, I don't know how to ride a bike!"
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"(Groans) Ugh!"
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"- Moira, look at these cufflinks."
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"- Oh John,"
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"We're better off stealing cutlery from the cafe!"
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"- No, these look like sterling."
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"I'm gonna bid on these."
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"- Hey there, Roses!"
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"- Oh, hi. - Oh hey, Jocelyn."
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"- Look at you two bargain hunters."
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"- Mm, nothing you couldn't see fall out of a common"
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"Christmas cracker!"
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"at these things. - Ooh, look at that mattress!"
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"- Well, there you go, what a find."
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"- Poor dear, enchanted by a death bed."
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"- This is a brand new mattress, it's still in the plastic!"
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"- What?! - Yeah!"
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"And it's memory foam! This must've cost a fortune!"
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"- Well, you're just gonna have to bid on it."
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"- John, why didn't you see that mattress first?!"
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"That's something we could actually use!"
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"- Oh I don't know, it's at least a queen."
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"- Well, that's too big to get home."
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"- No, we got the truck. - But awkward, Jocelyn,"
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"and awkward with those tiny doorways of yours."
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"I don't want other people to see it."
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"- Now, we need a top, and we need a bottom."
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"Like a skirt, something like that,"
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"which I know you're familiar with 'cause you're wearing one."
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"- Okay, these are pants that just so happen to have"
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"a pant fabric over the front and back-- okay."
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"- Yeah, it's a skirt. Um, what about this?"
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"It seems durable, yes?"
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"- Yeah um, in fashion, durable and elegant"
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"rarely go hand in hand."
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"- Okay, so not that."
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"- What about this?"
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"Jocelyn seems to like loud floral prints."
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"- Yeah, the thing is, um, this is kind of a special..."
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"kind of blouse. - Uh-huh."
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"- Obviously! - Okay, well,"
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"Meryl Streep plays this kind of powerful, sexy fashion woman--"
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"Jocelyn and I like to have a little fun with that idea,"
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"if you know what I mean."
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"She plays Meryl, and I play the nervous"
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"but ambitious intern who's new to the city."
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"- Oh, so you're the--"
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"So you-you're the Anne Hathaway in that situation?"
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"- I don't know who that is."
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