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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S04E04)

"I swear I will never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Really?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(UPBEA TMUSIC PLA YING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Marshall, great news! I'm not a father! - Congratulations, buddy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"This is the happiest moment of my life, Marshall."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The way I feel about not having kids?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That's why I'm creating a holiday."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"From now on, today will be known as "Not a Father's Day.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, why not? Everyone else gets a day. Mothers, fathers, Bastilles."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Why can't there be a day for people who are single and like it that way?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, now you just sound like the chubby girl on Valentine's Day."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Hello, Stinson. - Hey, Nolan. How are the kids?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You ready for tonight, Eriksen? Big merger."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, that's between me and my wife, sir."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I thought that was a breakfast meeting. - It is. Breakfast in China."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Marshall? - Hey, babe."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- It's breakfast time in China. - Yeah, it is."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Wait, what would that even mean? - I don't know, hot buns, spicy pork?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"There's something there. You're not coming home tonight, are you?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Thank you, guys, for coming over so fast."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, are you all right? You sounded upset on the phone."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall and I made this big decision to have dinner."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But then he called and canceled, and it got me thinking."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Dinner is a baby! - Lily, that's horrible!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, no, I need you guys to figure something out for me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What? - Are Marshall and I ready to have a baby?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Lily, we can't make this decision for you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall's head. That thing's the size of a late August watermelon."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall's baby coming through there?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(EX CLAIMING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall's really excited."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But I think he only sees what's cute about having a baby,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"not what's hard about it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Like the other day, while Marshall was playing with baby Jeremy,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I was talking to Jeremy's mom."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Thanks so much for inviting us over."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I have not talked to another adult in, like, weeks."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, besides my husband. But "It's your turn to change him""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and "Make him shut up" really doesn't count as conversation."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh! I just did it again! Sleep deprivation!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh! There's my little peanut! I love you so much!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm going to be as strung out as Charlotte. Worse actually."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"At least her husband works from home."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I mean, he's a pot dealer, but he's a very involved parent."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Marshall will be a great dad. - Marshall's always at the office,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and I'm afraid that if we have a baby now, all the work will fall on me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I think Lily's just being realistic. - See, this is good."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"This is why I called you guys both over here."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, you're pro kids. Robin, you're against."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Counselors, opening statements."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, I know you're afraid that you're not ready."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But no one ever thinks they're ready. You just have to take the leap."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Parenthood will come naturally."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, of course you think it comes naturally."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- You're basically a dad already. - You're a total dad."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What are you talking about? - Ted, think about it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You tell super corny dad jokes."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Shredded tweet!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(LAUGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Man! Shredded tweet."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"ROBIN: You lecture us, like when we broke your stupid ship in a bottle."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- She did it! - Shut up!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"ROBIN: And you do that thing all dads do with waitresses."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hi, I'm Lori. I'll be your waitress this evening."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hi, Lori, I'm Ted. I'll be your customer this evening."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"what do you get when you cross a canary with a lawn mower?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No hints. No hints."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but you're totally a dorky dad."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I don't think I like your tone, young lady."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall, Not a Father's Day is a hit!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Laraby and Finklestein are helping me celebrate. Check it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"There's "Who's Not Your Daddy?" T-shirts."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Both available at NotAFathersDay. com."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh. Check out the greeting cards."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""For everything you do for yourself, for all the Scotch upon your shelf."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""Your Porsche Carrera rules the freeway. Here's wishing you an all-night three-way."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- "Happy Not a Father's Day." - Check out the illustration."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, no."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It appears to be some sort of Asian hooker."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yes. Because on Not a Father's Day,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"you get a Thai you'd actually wear. Wordplay five!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She's really kicking your ass here, Mosby."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'll tell you why my opponent is saying all this."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Three words, scared of babies. - What? That is crazy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I am not. - Yeah?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Remember that time you met my cousin and her kid?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, she is so cute."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Aw!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh. Do you want to hold her?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"TED: Or the baby shower Lily threw for her friend Erika?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Are you letting that baby sniff you? - I don't want to get bitten."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And don't forget about..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SCREAMS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But you're not like that, Lily. You love kids and they love you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yes, I'm loveable, pretty and wise, but is it enough?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Look, it all comes down to one word. You."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Are you ready to put your own dreams on the back burner?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Grad school, teaching art at the college level?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Look, you need to focus on Project Lily before you can start Project Baby."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"If you don't, you'll always regret it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And that wouldn't be fair to you or the baby."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What's that? - It's Jeremy's sock."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm having a baby."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But what about Marshall working all the time?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But sock."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- But Project Lily! - Little fishies on it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We made all of these arguments, and a sock is what makes your decision for you?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I guess that was the sock-out punch, huh, Robin?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Shut up, Dad. - You shut up, baby hater."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Babies are scary, okay? They have giant eyes."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"at least hide it somewhere it won't accidentally get pressed."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, did you drink any of this?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Not a drop. - Me, neither."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Eriksen, meeting in five minutes."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That guy haunts my nightmares. Anyway, have fun out there, kid."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Put a baby in me, Marshall. I'm ready."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Put your melon-headed spawn in my belly."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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