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Clips from The Muppet Show (1976) - George Burns (S02E02)

"Right."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Isn't that a nice song?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Hey, that George Burns is a great singer."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Yeah, well, so am I, Statler."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- What? - Sure, you wanna hear me sing?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Only if you sing tenor. - Tenor?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Ten or 11 miles away. [laughing]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"How should I know what "cuanto le gusta" means?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Hiya, chickie baby."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Watch it, buster."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I'm Fleet Scribbler, from The Daily Scandal. I'm a reporter."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"And what can your chickie baby do for you?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, I wanted to talk to you."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You want to interview me? Ah!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Well, not exactly. - Oh, what do you want?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Dirt. - What?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You know, scandal, the hot skinny."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"What really goes on behind the scenes."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I couldn't do that."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"There is such a thing as loyalty to one's fellow performers."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Too bad."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Something for Page Three."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, first of all..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Hey, wait a second. Hey, Scribbler. Those are all lies."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[♪ Chattanooga Choo Choo]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[train chugging]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[train whistles]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Excuse me, Mr. Burns."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I wanted to warn you about this reporter that's backstage."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"He writes a gossip column."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"As long as he doesn't write the obituary column,"
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"I'm not worried."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"But he writes for The Daily Scandal"
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"and he'll do anything for sensationalism."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Pay no attention to him, Burns. He's only a frog."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Look, I'll get right to the point, Burns."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Hey, now, now, wait a second. - Let me handle this, Kermit."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"They're paying me $250,000."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Ah, come on, is that a lie? - One of my best."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"For years you were a vaudeville actor"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"and now you've made two films."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Is it difficult to be an actor."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"No, I think it's very easy to be an actor."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"If you're doing a scene where a man tells you to sit down,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"If he tells you to sit down and you keep standing up,"
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"that's bad acting."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I always sit down, I'm a good actor."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I've been around so long that if I can sit down"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"and get paid for doing it,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I'm in the right business."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"That's the end of the interview. Goodbye, kid."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- You really took care of him. - Thanks, Kermit."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"About 20 a day."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"At my age, I got to hold on to something."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[man] And now, Veterinarian's Hospital,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"the continuing story of a quack who has gone to the dogs."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Dr. Bob, are you ready for your next patient?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Next patient? What happened to the last one?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- He left for a better doctor. - Which doctor?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"That's right. Witch doctor!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Witch doctor!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Here it is, Dr. Bob. - Hmm?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"It's a telephone. What's wrong?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"It isn't working."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Isn't working? Well, tell it to get a job so it can pay me."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[all laughing]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Maybe it's a pay phone. - A pay phone!"
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"- [all laughing] - Wow!"
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"Dr. Bob, do you know anything about repairing telephones?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- I can look it up in the book. - The medical book?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"No, the telephone book."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- What do you think, Dr. Bob? - It must be jaundice."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"How do you know?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Look at all these yellow pages."
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"[all laughing]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Dr. Bob. Dr. Bob, do you think"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"the telephone needs an anesthetic."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Well, if so, make it a local. - Why?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Because long distance costs too much."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Wait a minute. Nurse Piggy, don't you have the next line?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Yes, but I can't say it. - How come?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- Dr. Bob? - Hm?"
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"Dr. Bob, wow, are you ever going to operate?"
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"- No, but I know who will. - Who?"
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"The telephone operator."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[man] And so, once again,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Dr. Bob is off the hook."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You talking to me?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[man] Tune in next week"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Does the phone remind you of anything?"
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"Well, it does ring a bell."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[all laughing]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[♪ Knocked 'Em in the Old Kent Road]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[Fozzie] Watch the hands!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Watch the feet! Watch your wallet! Here we go."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Everybody!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[honks]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Excuse me, Mr. Burns, remember me? I'm Gonzo."
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"Oh, one of the Marx Brothers, Groucho, Chico, Harpo and Gonzo."
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"No, no, no, no, I'm the Great Gonzo. I'm in show business too."
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"Well, how did you get a name like Gonzo?"
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"Yeah. She died two years before I was born."
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"how could she give you that name?"
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"- She left a note to my father. - A note to your father, I thought so."
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"Coming from you that sounds believable."
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"Look, I hope you don't mind me coming in here like this,"
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"but I know you love show business,"
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"and those stories about the early days"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"are really interesting."
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"- Some of them are pretty dull. - How can you say that?"
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"I haven't even told you any of my stories yet."
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"Oh, yours? I thought you meant..."
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"I remember my first act."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I worked with a kangaroo who could tell time."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"A kangaroo who could tell time?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Yeah. It was a trick. He kept a pocket watch in his pouch."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"If you've got a pouch, that's the place to keep it."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Yeah, but he was always wrong."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"He kept his watch on Australia time."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Makes sense."
The Muppet Show (1976)
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