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Clips from All in the Family - Writing the President (S01E01)

the last time he wrote a letter was to the phone company.

"the last time he wrote a letter was to the phone company."

All in the Family

Edith, stifle yourself. The language he used.

"Edith, stifle yourself. The language he used."

All in the Family

Edith, I said stifle yourself.

"Edith, I said stifle yourself."

All in the Family

And then he wouldn't sign the letter. I wouldn't have neither.

"And then he wouldn't sign the letter. I wouldn't have neither."

All in the Family

Edith, I told you to stifle yourself !

"Edith, I told you to stifle yourself !"

All in the Family

Yes, I am ! Good.

"Yes, I am ! Good."

All in the Family

Then you can mail your letter and let me mail mine.

"Then you can mail your letter and let me mail mine."

All in the Family

Oh, no, no. You don't get this letter to mail till I'm ready to mail mine.

"Oh, no, no. You don't get this letter to mail till I'm ready to mail mine."

All in the Family

- Mail 'em together. - No, mine has to go into the mailbox before yours.

"- Mail 'em together. - No, mine has to go into the mailbox before yours."

All in the Family

That way, the president reads mine first, he'll be able to stomach yours.

"That way, the president reads mine first, he'll be able to stomach yours."

All in the Family

Edith, uh, get me our embossed personal stationery.

"Edith, uh, get me our embossed personal stationery."

All in the Family

You know, with the initials intertwined on the top.

"You know, with the initials intertwined on the top."

All in the Family

Archie, we don't have no writing paper like that.

"Archie, we don't have no writing paper like that."

All in the Family

Edith, our personal stationery.

"Edith, our personal stationery."

All in the Family

It was a gift from that no-neck cousin of yours works for w.T. Grant.

"It was a gift from that no-neck cousin of yours works for w.T. Grant."

All in the Family

You know, a wedding present.

"You know, a wedding present."

All in the Family

Oh, Archie,

"Oh, Archie,"

All in the Family

for heaven's sake, that was 22 years ago.

"for heaven's sake, that was 22 years ago."

All in the Family

What difference does it make how long ago it was, huh ?

"What difference does it make how long ago it was, huh ?"

All in the Family

You save everything else. You certainly must have saved that.

"You save everything else. You certainly must have saved that."

All in the Family

Edith, I can't write to the President of the United States unless I'm gonna do it right.

"Edith, I can't write to the President of the United States unless I'm gonna do it right."

All in the Family

What are you sharpening a pencil for ?

"What are you sharpening a pencil for ?"

All in the Family

First draft.

"First draft."

All in the Family

Well, we got ballpoint pens.

"Well, we got ballpoint pens."

All in the Family

Ballpoint pens ? I can't write to the president with ballpoint pens.

"Ballpoint pens ? I can't write to the president with ballpoint pens."

All in the Family

I need real ink. Whatever happened to my waterman ?

"I need real ink. Whatever happened to my waterman ?"

All in the Family

Your waterman ?

"Your waterman ?"

All in the Family

Fifteen bucks. Guaranteed to last me a lifetime.

"Fifteen bucks. Guaranteed to last me a lifetime."

All in the Family

It must be lastin' somebody else's lifetime. We got ballpoint pens.

"It must be lastin' somebody else's lifetime. We got ballpoint pens."

All in the Family

Look at this stationery. "Hercules plumbing" ?

"Look at this stationery. "Hercules plumbing" ?"

All in the Family

And you saved this, huh ?

"And you saved this, huh ?"

All in the Family

And our embossed stationery with the initials intertwined at the top,

"And our embossed stationery with the initials intertwined at the top,"

All in the Family

there it is, gone.

"there it is, gone."

All in the Family

Maybe it'll get to the president faster...

"Maybe it'll get to the president faster..."

All in the Family

If they think you own a plumbing company.

"If they think you own a plumbing company."

All in the Family

Let me get started. You go over there and finish pastin' your tradin' stamps.

"Let me get started. You go over there and finish pastin' your tradin' stamps."

All in the Family

That's a good idea. I got almost enough to fill another book.

"That's a good idea. I got almost enough to fill another book."

All in the Family

If we get three and a half books, I can buy that bathroom scale.

"If we get three and a half books, I can buy that bathroom scale."

All in the Family

Edith, please.

"Edith, please."

All in the Family

Don't worry. They went for a long walk.

"Don't worry. They went for a long walk."

All in the Family

Nobody's here to bother you.

"Nobody's here to bother you."

All in the Family

You'll have absolute silence.

"You'll have absolute silence."

All in the Family

Perfect quiet.

"Perfect quiet."

All in the Family

Nobody goin' back and forth.

"Nobody goin' back and forth."

All in the Family

Nobody talk-talk--

"Nobody talk-talk--"

All in the Family

dear Mr. president,

"dear Mr. president,"

All in the Family

your honor,

"your honor,"

All in the Family

sir--

"sir--"

All in the Family

dear Mr. president,

"dear Mr. president,"

All in the Family

your honor,

"your honor,"

All in the Family

[ bang ]

"[ bang ]"

All in the Family

Sir-- [ Two bangs ]

"Sir-- [ Two bangs ]"

All in the Family

Will you stop lickin' and bangin' over there ?

"Will you stop lickin' and bangin' over there ?"

All in the Family

[ Bang ] Oh, you're breakin' up my whole concentration !

"[ Bang ] Oh, you're breakin' up my whole concentration !"

All in the Family

Oh, I'm sorry. What have you got down so far ?

"Oh, I'm sorry. What have you got down so far ?"

All in the Family

"Dear Mr. president, your honor, sir."

""Dear Mr. president, your honor, sir.""

All in the Family

Yeah, go on.

"Yeah, go on."

All in the Family

How much more do you expect me to do with you lickin' and bangin' over there ?

"How much more do you expect me to do with you lickin' and bangin' over there ?"

All in the Family

Here, I got a good idea. You come over here. Come here.

"Here, I got a good idea. You come over here. Come here."

All in the Family

Now, you sit down there...

"Now, you sit down there..."

All in the Family

And you write what I dictate.

"And you write what I dictate."

All in the Family

I'm too nervous. It's to the president.

"I'm too nervous. It's to the president."

All in the Family

What are you nervous about ?

"What are you nervous about ?"

All in the Family

I'm gonna do the whole thing. Go ahead.

"I'm gonna do the whole thing. Go ahead."

All in the Family

You just write what I tell ya.

"You just write what I tell ya."

All in the Family

What do you got there ? Nothin'.

"What do you got there ? Nothin'."

All in the Family

What do you mean ? I wrote a whole introduction.

"What do you mean ? I wrote a whole introduction."

All in the Family

"Dear Mr. president, your honor, sir."

""Dear Mr. president, your honor, sir.""

All in the Family

Oh, that-- that's lousy.

"Oh, that-- that's lousy."

All in the Family

What ? What you read.

"What ? What you read."

All in the Family

That's what you wrote. I know, but you read it so rotten !

"That's what you wrote. I know, but you read it so rotten !"

All in the Family

Read them same words over again.

"Read them same words over again."

All in the Family

Read 'em with a little feeling, huh ? Go ahead.

"Read 'em with a little feeling, huh ? Go ahead."

All in the Family

your honor, sir."

"your honor, sir.""

All in the Family

Yes ! Beautiful words.

"Yes ! Beautiful words."

All in the Family

I only hope Mr. Nixon reads 'em that way.

"I only hope Mr. Nixon reads 'em that way."

All in the Family

Oh, Edith, please, will ya !

"Oh, Edith, please, will ya !"

All in the Family

It's tough enough writin' a letter to the top man in the whole free world,

"It's tough enough writin' a letter to the top man in the whole free world,"

All in the Family

so just stifle your comments and write what I tell ya.

"so just stifle your comments and write what I tell ya."

All in the Family

Dear Mr. president, your honor, sir,

"Dear Mr. president, your honor, sir,"

All in the Family

I--

"I--"

All in the Family

no, no, that's wrong. That's wrong, that's wrong.

"no, no, that's wrong. That's wrong, that's wrong."

All in the Family

Uh, read it back to me again.

"Uh, read it back to me again."

All in the Family

[ With feeling ] "Dear Mr. president--"

"[ With feeling ] "Dear Mr. president--""

All in the Family

"As one of your faithful constitutionals--"

""As one of your faithful constitutionals--""

All in the Family

The word is wrong ! Why did you write it down ? [ Doorbell rings ]

"The word is wrong ! Why did you write it down ? [ Doorbell rings ]"

All in the Family

There's somebody at the door.

"There's somebody at the door."

All in the Family

Go on, answer the bell. Let me in there.

"Go on, answer the bell. Let me in there."

All in the Family

And no matter who it is, we ain't home, huh ?

"And no matter who it is, we ain't home, huh ?"

All in the Family

How am I gonna tell 'em we ain't home if I'm standin' there talkin' to 'em ?

"How am I gonna tell 'em we ain't home if I'm standin' there talkin' to 'em ?"

All in the Family

Try.

"Try."

All in the Family

Good afternoon. Oh, good afternoon, sister.

"Good afternoon. Oh, good afternoon, sister."

All in the Family

We're collecting money...

"We're collecting money..."

All in the Family

For the St. januarius underprivileged children's hospital.

"For the St. januarius underprivileged children's hospital."

All in the Family

Oh, I think my husband gave at the office.

"Oh, I think my husband gave at the office."

All in the Family

Just neighborhoods, families.

"Just neighborhoods, families."

All in the Family

Oh, I see.

"Oh, I see."

All in the Family

Archie, the sister is collecting for the underprivileged children.

"Archie, the sister is collecting for the underprivileged children."

All in the Family

Edith, come over here. I need some help. I'm searching for a word.

"Edith, come over here. I need some help. I'm searching for a word."

All in the Family

Maybe the sister could help you !

"Maybe the sister could help you !"

All in the Family

Ahh-- yeah. Maybe she could at that.

"Ahh-- yeah. Maybe she could at that."

All in the Family

Uh, uh, come on in, sister. Step right in.

"Uh, uh, come on in, sister. Step right in."

All in the Family

Get out of the way, Edith.

"Get out of the way, Edith."

All in the Family

Hi, sister. I bet you was wonderin' what I was doing at the table.

"Hi, sister. I bet you was wonderin' what I was doing at the table."

All in the Family

No, actually I was-- well, in case you was wonderin' what I was doin'--

"No, actually I was-- well, in case you was wonderin' what I was doin'--"

All in the Family

I wasn't. Now, if you'll--

"I wasn't. Now, if you'll--"

All in the Family

would you let me tell you what I was doin' over there at the table ?

"would you let me tell you what I was doin' over there at the table ?"

All in the Family

I was writin' a letter to the president of the United States...

"I was writin' a letter to the president of the United States..."

All in the Family

To fill him in on how the people of this neighborhood are thinkin' and feelin'.

"To fill him in on how the people of this neighborhood are thinkin' and feelin'."

All in the Family

Yes, well, I'm sure you know the feelings...

"Yes, well, I'm sure you know the feelings..."

All in the Family

Of this particular constituency.

"Of this particular constituency."

All in the Family

That's the word. Thank you, sister.

"That's the word. Thank you, sister."

All in the Family

Edith, give the sister a generous contribution.

"Edith, give the sister a generous contribution."

All in the Family

Edith, just a minute. Before you do, come over here.

"Edith, just a minute. Before you do, come over here."

All in the Family

Nothin' more than half a buck.

"Nothin' more than half a buck."

All in the Family

No matter what they tell ya, most of what you give 'em,

"No matter what they tell ya, most of what you give 'em,"

All in the Family

they buy golden candlesticks with it.

"they buy golden candlesticks with it."

All in the Family

Edith.

"Edith."

All in the Family

Edith, this is gonna be good. You know that ?

"Edith, this is gonna be good. You know that ?"

All in the Family

Yeah.

"Yeah."

All in the Family

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