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Clips from The Golden Girls - In a Bed of Rose's (S01E01)

"Mrs. Beatty, my late husband had a heart attack with me as well."
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"They drop like flies around me!"
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"Mrs. Nylund, you're not responsible for the death of my husband."
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"- I'll never date again. - You will."
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"I won't. I can't."
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"- In time, you'll forget this. - Never."
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"I promise you."
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"It's OK. I'll get used to being alone."
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"You've been sleeping with my husband and he's just died."
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"See if you can pull yourself together, because in a minute,"
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"I'm going to need some comforting myself."
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"All right, try this dressing and tell me what you think."
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"It's called Creamy Zesty Italian, only has one calorie."
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"Mmm. If you ran it under the faucet, it would have more flavor."
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"Shoot."
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"Honey, beware of anyone who says, "no calories," "absolutely no charge,""
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"and, "let's just lie down on the bed and watch television.""
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"- Hi. - Hi. Did you do it?"
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"- Yeah. - And?"
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"I'm gonna become a nun."
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"I'm the kiss of death. It's the second time a man has died in my bed."
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"The second time?"
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"- Dorothy knows. - Charlie."
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"- No! - Yes."
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"What exactly do you do in bed, Rose?"
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"Nothing. I do nothing."
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"Well, maybe that's it. They have to do it all."
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"Come on, Blanche. It's not her fault. She has a perfectly normal sex life."
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"Now, I knew somebody who had seven husbands"
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"Well, they arrested her. She'd been putting ground glass in their salads."
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"- Why? - Because she ran out of croutons!"
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"Because she wanted to kill them, Rose."
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"We had a neighbor in Minnesota who killed her husband."
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"She backed over him with a combine and she didn't even know she had done it"
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"until she found little bits of plaid in the corn."
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"She said, "Funny, that looks like bits of Joe's plaid shirt..."
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""...and that looks like bits of Joe's overalls..."
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""...and that looks like bits of Joe's arms..."
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"...and that looks like bits of..." - Rose!"
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"We get the picture!"
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"- They had a very little coffin... - Ah!"
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"Listen, Rose. You are not to blame. Now, you know that."
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"Of course I know that."
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"She was driving the combine. I wasn't anywhere near their farm."
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"Come on, Rose, it'll be fun."
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"- You like square dancing. - No, thanks."
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"You're only gonna be dancing with men. You can't kill them by doing that."
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"Nope. No more men. That's it for me."
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"No more men? My God, I would die. I would just die."
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"- Oh, who? - Well, Inga Lundqvist."
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"Who was she, some Swedish lesbian?"
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"She was a neighbor of ours."
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"Not, by chance, the one who shredded her husband with some farm machinery?"
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"Yes, and she never remarried."
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"And she led a very happy rest of her life baking,"
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"sewing, gardening, tending the animals."
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"Ooh, my favorite things."
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"OK, let's get this show on the road."
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"Rose, you sure you don't want to come and just watch?"
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"Come on, Rose. You'll sit and watch my dentures eat corn on the cob."
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"It's a lot of laughs."
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"No, I don't want to kill anyone else."
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"Honey, you sure you're gonna be all right here alone?"
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"She'll be fine. If someone breaks in, she'll just have to sleep with them."
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"(doorbell"
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"Oh, Mrs. Beatty, come in."
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"I just had to come by."
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"You were so caring to come tell me in person what happened"
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"Well, I know you blame yourself for Al's death."
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"Well, I just got the autopsy results,"
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"and they showed that Al's arteries were completely clogged."
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"Oh, his diet was terrible. He never ate a vegetable."
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"He lived on fatty foods. He'd have meat for dessert."
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"You didn't kill him, Mrs. Nylund. He killed himself."
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"He committed suicide?"
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"In a manner of speaking."
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"He'd have died whether he'd been here or not."
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"I'm so glad... not that he's dead."
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"I know. I just had to tell you you had nothing to do with it."
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"- Thank you. - And if he had to die,"
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"I'm glad he didn't die alone on the street,"
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"but here, with a caring person,"
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"doing what he liked to do best."
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"- Ma! - What?"
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"Will you stop telling her what to play?"
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"I'm not saying a word. Did I speak, Blanche?"
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"I've been holding it up for 80 years. You'd shake, too."
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"Well, what do you think?"
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"- Of what, honey? - My new dress."
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"- Oh, is that new? - Yes."
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"It's sort of old-fashioned looking. I wasn't sure it was new."
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"- Oh, that's the style. The girl told me. - What was she, a pilgrim?"
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"Come on, Blanche."
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"You look wonderful, Rose. Absolutely lovely."
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"Well, I suppose I should go. I haven't had a date in three months,"
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"but I just don't know what to do. I adore Arnie."
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"He's the sweetest man in the world, and very special to me."
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"And it'll be hard no to, you know, because I like him so much,"
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"and since we're going away for the weekend, and since we already have,"
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"if I don't, then he'll think I don't like him anymore, and I do."
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"So maybe I will, but I don't know. I might not."
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"Rose!"
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"Rose, honey, you know you are not responsible for Al's death,"
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"so why don't you just go on, have a good time,"
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"- and whatever happens, happens. - I know Al had bad arteries,"
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"but still, I can't be totally sure."
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"Come on, now, Rose. You do what makes you comfortable"
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"and don't worry about anything else."
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"Well... I'm off."
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"Totally!"
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"I wonder where she is. She's almost two hours late."
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"Oh, they probably hit traffic. I bet she slept with him."
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"I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't."
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"You know, I abstained after Stan and I split up..."
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"...but it wasn't a very different experience from when Stan and I were together."
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"- Oh, here she is. - Well? Well, what happened?"
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"- What? - How was it? You had a terrible time?"
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"- You had a wonderful time? - Honey, tell us what happened!"
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"Arnie... I slept with him."
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"- And? - He died."
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