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Clips from The Golden Girls - In a Bed of Rose's (S01E01)

"I didn't murder him!"
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"Of course you didn't murder him, honey. He probably had a heart attack."
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"Now, look. His family has to be notified."
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"Now, did he ever speak of any family?"
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"He had a sister he lives with."
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"- Yeah, what's her name? - His name was Al Beatty."
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"Her name was Beatty, too. She never married."
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"I suppose I have to tell her."
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"Oh, yes, you do. You cannot let the police tell her."
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"Oh, the night George died, my telephone rang"
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"and a highway patrolman said, "Pardon me, ma'am."
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"Do you have a yellow convertible and a husband named George?""
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"I said, "Yes. Good grief, what's happened?""
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"And he said, "Hold on, ma'am." He put me on hold,"
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"with that music while you wait."
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"I sat there at two in the morning,"
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"listening to Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass."
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"And then after an eternity, he comes back on the line, eating chips."
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"He says, "Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm the only one here."
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"My phone's been ringing off the hook." I said, "Officer, what about my husband?""
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"And then he said, crunching his chips,"
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""Oh, he's dead. Wrong way driver hit him head-on."
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"Totally dead, ma'am." Crunch, crunch."
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"Oh, no!"
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"Puts me on hold, and then eats Doritos while he tells me my life is over."
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"Oh, Rose has to tell her. Rose won't eat chips."
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"I never eat chips. I don't like them."
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"They fall in my bra."
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"His sister lives in Boca Raton."
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"- I'll look it up. - Oh, thank you."
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"I can't sleep in a bed that's had a dead person in it. I just can't!"
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"- You'll get a new bed. And sheets. - And sheets. And a blanket."
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"Burn down the house."
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"Oh, poor Al, and he just got a hair transplant."
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"Here's a Beatty in Boca Raton. It's the only one."
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"And somebody told me he just bought a farm."
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"Oh, my God. What'll I say to her?"
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"- That he died in the bed of an idiot. - Ma!"
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"- You tell the truth. - Well, I can't tell her the truth."
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"- I can't tell her where he died. - He died visiting."
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"- That's what you tell her. - Visiting."
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"- Right. - Visiting - that's good."
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"Oh, I just can't believe he's dead."
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"- I don't think she's home. - It rang once!"
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"Hello?"
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"Is this Miss Beatty?"
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"I beg your pardon?"
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"Well, do you have a brother, Al?"
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"I see. Well, I must have the wrong number. I'm sorry."
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"Wrong number?"
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"- Right number, wrong person. - What do you mean?"
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"- He was married. - I can't believe it."
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"There's a married dead man in my bed!"
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"- Serves him right. - Ma!"
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"- He lied to her. - I don't know why they do that."
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"Don't they know we'll sleep with them anyway?"
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"What am I gonna do? I can't tell her her husband died in my bed."
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"- That's not bad. - Oh, Rose."
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"Well, I've never had to do this before -"
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"That's the hardest thing to tell anybody."
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"Oh, no, it's not. How about having to tell a pregnant woman"
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"that her husband's been cheating on her..."
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"...with her own sister..."
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"...and you're the sister..."
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"...and you're pregnant, too..."
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"...by her husband."
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"You didn't!"
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"Not me... last night on Dallas."
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"Or Dynasty. or Falcon's Landing."
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"or one of those. They're all the same."
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"Oh, I thought you were the one."
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"Oh, please. I could never do anything like that."
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"If you saw my brother-in-law, you'd know why."
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"Look, Rose. You're gonna have to go tell her."
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"I mean, she's probably worried sick already."
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"I've never done anything like this. Tell a woman her husband's been seeing me?"
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"Mm-hmm, and she'll say, "Why, that dirty rat. I will kill him.""
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"And you say, "Good news, darling. You don't have to. He's dead.""
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"(doorbell"
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"Hello, I'm Rose Nylund."
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"I'll save you some time. I don't wear Avon, I have a mop,"
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"and I'm still paying for an encyclopedia that my son used just once"
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"to look up Sexual Genitalia, Female."
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"He dumped you. You've been dating him and he dumped you,"
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"and now you're getting even by telling me."
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"- No, that's not... - I've heard this before,"
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"- I can't tell you how many times. - You have?"
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"You think you're the first? Please."
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"The first time Al slept with someone else was on our honeymoon."
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"- No! - In Paris - the chambermaid."
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"He always had the sign on the door, "Maid Service Requested.""
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"He slept with everyone - secretaries, schoolteachers,"
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"babysitters, neighbors, friends."
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"One Easter, we gave our little boy some rabbits."
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"They used to look at Al in amazement."
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"How long had you been seeing him?"
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"About a month... but that's not why I'm here."
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"- I have bad news. - Well, you couldn't be pregnant."
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"Last night, Al had a heart attack and died."
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"Oh, Mrs. Beatty, I'm so very, very sorry."
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"Well, you must have the wrong Al."
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"You've been sleeping with someone else's Al."
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"My Al is as healthy as a horse. It can't be him!"
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"- Al Beatty, from Boca Raton? - Yes."
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"A heart attack is crazy."
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"He was a runner. He couldn't have a heart attack."
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"I'm talking, so it can't be true. You know what I mean?"
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"If I keep talking, it isn't true."
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"All I have to do is talk forever."
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"Oh, God, Al!"
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"I'm all right. I'm OK."
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"Al... the big jerk."
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"I loved him."
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"He was a decent man, you know?"
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"I know."
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"- He was. - Caring."
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"- Very. - Special."
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"And it's all my fault!"
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"He had a heart attack. It's not your fault."
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"He had a heart attack with me."
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