Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from M*A*S*H - The Ringbanger (S01E01)

"Yeah."
M*A*S*H
"|gota feeling he wouldn‘t be so tall..."
M*A*S*H
"What do you say we try to keep Buzz around for a while?"
M*A*S*H
"I got the information you guys wanted."
M*A*S*H
"You‘re a model ofindustry and sneakiness."
M*A*S*H
"My friend at Walter Reed says that Brighton‘s physicals have been perfect."
M*A*S*H
"Let me see that."
M*A*S*H
"That‘s disgusting."
M*A*S*H
"This guy is so fit, he‘ll be in good health two years after he‘s dead."
M*A*S*H
"Guess what he broke."
M*A*S*H
"— His back. — His front."
M*A*S*H
"The all—time record for never being on sick call."
M*A*S*H
"The guy‘s racked up twice as many casualties..."
M*A*S*H
"as any other regimental commander while only gaining halfthe ground."
M*A*S*H
"|thinkthis guy oughta come out ofthe game fora little while."
M*A*S*H
"Good morning, Frank."
M*A*S*H
"Wouldn‘t you like to know ?"
M*A*S*H
"The problem is in Buzz‘s mind. That‘s where we oughta strike."
M*A*S*H
"Little homemade battle fatigue."
M*A*S*H
"Even if| knew, |wouldn‘t tell you."
M*A*S*H
"— But, sir—— —Oh ! Ouch ! Oh, my ear!"
M*A*S*H
"Is there any blood?"
M*A*S*H
"I could paint a barn with someone else‘s blood."
M*A*S*H
"|just can‘t stand to see my own."
M*A*S*H
"I was right there in the operating room."
M*A*S*H
"It was a simple excision ofa bullet from his thigh."
M*A*S*H
"Last night, they filled a bucket with gin..."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m just leaving to pick up those supplies in Seoul, Colonel."
M*A*S*H
"Would you like to approve my requisition?"
M*A*S*H
"— Excuse me, Frank. — Ofcourse."
M*A*S*H
"[Clears Throat]"
M*A*S*H
"Make sure the sardines are boneless and the peanut butter‘s chunky."
M*A*S*H
"|fthey‘re out ofcheese balls, get some smoked oysters."
M*A*S*H
"Can I kiss your ear and make it better?"
M*A*S*H
"Yes, sir. Yes, sir!"
M*A*S*H
"Fine. Carry on, Lieutenant."
M*A*S*H
"Now then, Frank——"
M*A*S*H
"[Giggling]"
M*A*S*H
"Frank Burns is giving Henry a hard time..."
M*A*S*H
"about your patient, Colonel Brighton."
M*A*S*H
"There‘ll bea little something underyour pillow."
M*A*S*H
"— How can I ever thankyou, sir? —Try|eaving."
M*A*S*H
"Yes, sir!"
M*A*S*H
"[ Man] Will the owner ofa red pickup truck,"
M*A*S*H
"Illinois license LU6751."
M*A*S*H
"please fly back to Chicago and remove it from in front ofthe ”."Y"
M*A*S*H
"— Buzz. — Forty—nine, fifty. [Sighs]"
M*A*S*H
"| feel great."
M*A*S*H
"— I was afraid ofthat. — Absence of pain."
M*A*S*H
"— What ? — X rays don‘t lie, Buzz."
M*A*S*H
"Buzz, look, we‘ve been going over your whole history."
M*A*S*H
"— No way. — Buzz, look, it‘s the best thing to do."
M*A*S*H
"No way. They‘ll put someone else in charge of my outfit."
M*A*S*H
"We‘ve considered that possibility."
M*A*S*H
"Look, do you mind if| get a second opinion, talk to Colonel Blake?"
M*A*S*H
"— Henry? —Yeah."
M*A*S*H
"Well, he slips away once in a while and—— [ Gulping]"
M*A*S*H
"Oh, a boozer, huh?"
M*A*S*H
"— It‘s a tragedy really. — Yeah, yeah."
M*A*S*H
"See, Henry, uh, Henry could have been head surgeon at Walter Reed,"
M*A*S*H
"What about, uh—— what‘s—his—name?"
M*A*S*H
"Yeah, Frank is a terrific officer and a great doctor."
M*A*S*H
"That‘s good enough for me. That other thing doesn‘t matter at all."
M*A*S*H
"— Well, uh—— — You don‘t think——"
M*A*S*H
"—I mean, he never actually got caught. — That‘s right."
M*A*S*H
"Doing what ?"
M*A*S*H
"It‘s not Frank‘s fault he showed up in an air raid in high heels."
M*A*S*H
"— Do you mean that he‘s a—— — But a fine doctor."
M*A*S*H
"— Drop by later for a drink? —What?"
M*A*S*H
"— I‘ve been looking all over foryou. - Oh ?"
M*A*S*H
"Whose are those?"
M*A*S*H
"It really makes no never mind."
M*A*S*H
"Now..."
M*A*S*H
"|tfee|s fine."
M*A*S*H
"Can‘t you do it without touching me?"
M*A*S*H
"Thankyou. |——"
M*A*S*H
"This stuff belongs to Colonel Blake."
M*A*S*H
"A little small for him, don‘t you think?"
M*A*S*H
"They‘re not his. No, they belong to a nurse friend ofhis."
M*A*S*H
"Another one ofthose degenerates, right?"
M*A*S*H
"|didn‘t say that, Colonel. |——"
M*A*S*H
"Hey, what do you say, Buzz? How‘s it going?"
M*A*S*H
"— Boy, you sure were right about him. — I‘m sorry."
M*A*S*H
"— You‘ve gotta get me out of here. — We‘re doing the best we can."
M*A*S*H
"Although yourthigh is fine, because you‘re not suffering any leg lag."
M*A*S*H
"—How long do you figure? Couple ofdays? —Oh, tops."
M*A*S*H
"— Until you‘re reallyyourselfagain. —I am myself!"
M*A*S*H
"— I‘m going to my tent. —This is yourtent."
M*A*S*H
"[Clears Throat]"
M*A*S*H
"— You‘ll be okay. — That Burns character really got to me."
M*A*S*H
"See, Buzz, this is your sack,"
M*A*S*H
"— and here is all your gear. —Yeah, right."
M*A*S*H
"Yeah, why don‘t you lie down a while? You know, rest."
M*A*S*H
"Come on. You got no place to go. Relax. Finish your milk."
M*A*S*H
"[Buzz] What milk .7"
M*A*S*H
"The milk you made such a fuss about getting this morning"
M*A*S*H
"Oh."
M*A*S*H
"See you later, Buzz. Take a nice nap, okay?"
M*A*S*H
"Can we go to your tent, please? I‘ve got something I want you to see."
M*A*S*H
"I‘vejust gone over Colonel Brighton‘s file."
M*A*S*H
"X rays, the works. He‘s i 00 percent fit."
M*A*S*H
"Why are you keeping him here?"
M*A*S*H
"Look, do you want us to ruin this guy‘s career?"
M*A*S*H
"Put down what‘s really wrong with him on his record?"
M*A*S*H
"Well, um,"
M*A*S*H
"That‘s what I‘m talking about."
M*A*S*H
"Buzz Brighton has lost all confidence in himself,"
M*A*S*H
"The bigger they are, you know."
M*A*S*H
"More than once they found Patton sobbing inside his tank."
M*A*S*H
"Everybody thinks he‘s a tower ofstrength."
M*A*S*H
"But inside that colonel, there‘s a private..."
M*A*S*H
"who needs to be cuddled and held just like the rest of us."
M*A*S*H
"Ah, nobody cares."
M*A*S*H
"I want to thankyou both for setting me straight."
M*A*S*H
"[ Water Spraying]"
M*A*S*H
"Hey, Frank."
M*A*S*H
"Want me to do your back?"
M*A*S*H
"No, thanks, Mr. Wisenheimer."
M*A*S*H
"Hey, we got a poker game scheduled in the swamp tonight,"
M*A*S*H
"but we‘ll try to be finished by the time you get back."
M*A*S*H
Show more clips