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Clips from NewsRadio - The Lam (S05E05)

And, you know, you're not getting any younger.

"And, you know, you're not getting any younger."

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Hello, Mr. James.

"Hello, Mr. James."

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Who--? Who's Mr. James?

"Who--? Who's Mr. James?"

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Well, that certainly is a cunning impression, sir.

"Well, that certainly is a cunning impression, sir."

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Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot. Oh, g-- Guess who's here.

"Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot. Oh, g-- Guess who's here."

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Oh, I don't know. My Dad.

"Oh, I don't know. My Dad."

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No, no, no, guess again.

"No, no, no, guess again."

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Now, do you remember this voice?

"Now, do you remember this voice?"

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MATTHEW [SLOW VOICE]: I remember David.

"MATTHEW [SLOW VOICE]: I remember David."

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Matthew.

"Matthew."

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It's me, reporting live from your boyhood home, David.

"It's me, reporting live from your boyhood home, David."

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Matthew, why are you at my parents' house?

"Matthew, why are you at my parents' house?"

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Because I'm a journalist, Dave. And I was like:

"Because I'm a journalist, Dave. And I was like:"

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"Where would I go if I was running from the law?

""Where would I go if I was running from the law?"

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Answer: Dave's parents' house."

"Answer: Dave's parents' house.""

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Thanks, Dave.

"Thanks, Dave."

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Hey, I actually made two discoveries today.

"Hey, I actually made two discoveries today."

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That stack of girlie magazines you had hidden

"That stack of girlie magazines you had hidden"

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under your mattress.

"under your mattress."

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[GIGGLES] Hang on.

"[GIGGLES] Hang on."

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Yes, Mama. I love you.

"Yes, Mama. I love you."

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Bye-bye.

"Bye-bye."

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Your mother?

"Your mother?"

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Yeah. Dave kind of inspired me.

"Yeah. Dave kind of inspired me."

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We sort of lost contact when I became evil and all.

"We sort of lost contact when I became evil and all."

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But, uh, now that that's over--

"But, uh, now that that's over--"

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Hm. That's what I'm here to talk to you about.

"Hm. That's what I'm here to talk to you about."

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I've been waiting.

"I've been waiting."

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You don't have to kneel.

"You don't have to kneel."

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I just feel more comfortable like this.

"I just feel more comfortable like this."

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this has been the hardest decision I've had to make.

"this has been the hardest decision I've had to make."

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You know, because I'm-- I'm, like, really into you.

"You know, because I'm-- I'm, like, really into you."

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You know, I'm, like, into you like a train, you know?

"You know, I'm, like, into you like a train, you know?"

NewsRadio

Um, so much so that it scares me.

"Um, so much so that it scares me."

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But...then I hardly know you.

"But...then I hardly know you."

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You know? And on the other hand, that's kind of exciting.

"You know? And on the other hand, that's kind of exciting."

NewsRadio

All right, listen up, everybody.

"All right, listen up, everybody."

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I'm going out for a couple of hours,

"I'm going out for a couple of hours,"

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and nobody better try any crap while I'm gone.

"and nobody better try any crap while I'm gone."

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This office is mine!

"This office is mine!"

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Johnny, you almost forgot your lucky bag.

"Johnny, you almost forgot your lucky bag."

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I can't believe you turned him down.

"I can't believe you turned him down."

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Well, I told him we could go to third.

"Well, I told him we could go to third."

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I was just trying to help.

"I was just trying to help."

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My whole world is crumbling.

"My whole world is crumbling."

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does not mean that he is evil.

"does not mean that he is evil."

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Good point, dude.

"Good point, dude."

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I am not a dude.

"I am not a dude."

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Take it easy, man.

"Take it easy, man."

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I'm sorry, Dave. I just-- I couldn't go through with it.

"I'm sorry, Dave. I just-- I couldn't go through with it."

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Yeah. Um-- Um--

"Yeah. Um-- Um--"

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It was very difficult, though.

"It was very difficult, though."

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I mean, I've never had to turn down a proposal before.

"I mean, I've never had to turn down a proposal before."

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How do you feel?

"How do you feel?"

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I-- I feel strangely, um...

"I-- I feel strangely, um..."

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powerful.

"powerful."

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Mm-hm. In an evil sort of way.

"Mm-hm. In an evil sort of way."

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It's the oddest thing.

"It's the oddest thing."

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Well--

"Well--"

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What are you doing with that duffel bag?

"What are you doing with that duffel bag?"

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Don't you know if the feds see that, Jimmy's sunk.

"Don't you know if the feds see that, Jimmy's sunk."

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Mr. Nelson, I believe that's the green duffel bag

"Mr. Nelson, I believe that's the green duffel bag"

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we spoke of earlier, is it not?

"we spoke of earlier, is it not?"

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What?

"What?"

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That's fine work, Nelson.

"That's fine work, Nelson."

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Yeah, if this is what I think it is, your Mr. James

"Yeah, if this is what I think it is, your Mr. James"

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is going away for a long time.

"is going away for a long time."

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Let's go, boys. We--

"Let's go, boys. We--"

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Wow, Dave. Dropping the dime on Jimmy like that.

"Wow, Dave. Dropping the dime on Jimmy like that."

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Heavy betrayal.

"Heavy betrayal."

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So...it was really you who wanted to take over

"So...it was really you who wanted to take over"

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Mr. James' corporate empire?

"Mr. James' corporate empire?"

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You sure got a funny way of going about it.

"You sure got a funny way of going about it."

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I'm gonna go see if Johnny

"I'm gonna go see if Johnny"

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needs a scalp massage.

"needs a scalp massage."

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This is absurd. Come on, you guys

"This is absurd. Come on, you guys"

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must see how absurd this is.

"must see how absurd this is."

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Sorry, Dave, I only talk to non-evil people.

"Sorry, Dave, I only talk to non-evil people."

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before Dave tries to take over my empire.

"before Dave tries to take over my empire."

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[PHONE RINGS]

"[PHONE RINGS]"

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WNY-- Oh, hi, sir.

"WNY-- Oh, hi, sir."

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Yeah. S-- So how are things going?

"Yeah. S-- So how are things going?"

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Ooh...

"Ooh..."

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about as bad as they possibly could.

"about as bad as they possibly could."

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Well, why? Is Lisa marrying Johnny?

"Well, why? Is Lisa marrying Johnny?"

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We-- No.

"We-- No."

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Well, then, that-- That's good news.

"Well, then, that-- That's good news."

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What about the duffel bag?

"What about the duffel bag?"

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Oh. Well, I-I kind of, uh... Uh-huh.

"Oh. Well, I-I kind of, uh... Uh-huh."

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...gave it to the FBI.

"...gave it to the FBI."

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Oh, Dave.

"Oh, Dave."

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No, no, it's okay. I'm-- I'm the one that's sorry.

"No, no, it's okay. I'm-- I'm the one that's sorry."

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You know, I never should have put such a heavy load on you.

"You know, I never should have put such a heavy load on you."

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And you know what? I've decided to go ahead

"And you know what? I've decided to go ahead"

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Well, I think that's probably for the best, sir.

"Well, I think that's probably for the best, sir."

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When do you think you'll be coming in?

"When do you think you'll be coming in?"

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Oh, just as soon as the feds come get me.

"Oh, just as soon as the feds come get me."

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Wait, no!

"Wait, no!"

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[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

"[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]"

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I think I might know where Mr. James is hiding.

"I think I might know where Mr. James is hiding."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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Joe's just going off about the FBI again.

"Joe's just going off about the FBI again."

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getting very jealous of my fingers.

"getting very jealous of my fingers."

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I can do it. I hope so.

"I can do it. I hope so."

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I don't know. I gotta do something. I gotta do--

"I don't know. I gotta do something. I gotta do--"

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It's so beautiful.

"It's so beautiful."

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Well, you get right in there and turn him down.

"Well, you get right in there and turn him down."

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On the one hand, it seems like a good thing.

"On the one hand, it seems like a good thing."

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You want the evidence?

"You want the evidence?"

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Dave, Dave. No, no.

"Dave, Dave. No, no."

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Oh, Johnny.

"Oh, Johnny."

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Yeah, but--

"Yeah, but--"

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Beat it!

"Beat it!"

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Was he mad?

"Was he mad?"

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Why was he so mean to me?

"Why was he so mean to me?"

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I-I just-- I can't relax until you take care of that bag. Now--

"I-I just-- I can't relax until you take care of that bag. Now--"

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And, uh, oh, Lisa's sleeping with him.

"And, uh, oh, Lisa's sleeping with him."

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[PHONE RINGS]

"[PHONE RINGS]"

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I forgive him. No.

"I forgive him. No."

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[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]

"[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]"

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