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Clips from NewsRadio - The Lam (S05E05)

No, Dave. He trusts me.

"No, Dave. He trusts me."

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He also seems to arouse you.

"He also seems to arouse you."

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His evil is very seductive, Lisa.

"His evil is very seductive, Lisa."

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I know, but I can do this. I just have to stay focused.

"I know, but I can do this. I just have to stay focused."

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And I'll seduce him with my feminine wiles.

"And I'll seduce him with my feminine wiles."

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Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

"Uh-huh. Uh-huh."

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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Did Mata Hari sleep with the guys she betrayed?

"Did Mata Hari sleep with the guys she betrayed?"

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Be a waste of feminine wiles otherwise, wouldn't it?

"Be a waste of feminine wiles otherwise, wouldn't it?"

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I can do this. Yeah. Hm.

"I can do this. Yeah. Hm."

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Are those the wings of an angel I hear rustling?

"Are those the wings of an angel I hear rustling?"

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They are.

"They are."

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And I am your willing slave. Huh.

"And I am your willing slave. Huh."

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So, uh, how's it going?

"So, uh, how's it going?"

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If the flames of hell burn as fiercely as your lips,

"If the flames of hell burn as fiercely as your lips,"

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then let the fires consume me.

"then let the fires consume me."

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Oh.

"Oh."

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That's very sweet, really,

"That's very sweet, really,"

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You tempt me, devil woman.

"You tempt me, devil woman."

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Oh, Johnny. [CHUCKLES]

"Oh, Johnny. [CHUCKLES]"

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Oh, Johnny.

"Oh, Johnny."

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Oh, God.

"Oh, God."

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Preparing to hit the road.

"Preparing to hit the road."

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Do a little hardcore investigative journalism.

"Do a little hardcore investigative journalism."

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What are you gonna investigate?

"What are you gonna investigate?"

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I, dear sir,

"I, dear sir,"

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Well, does Dave know about this?

"Well, does Dave know about this?"

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I don't know. Johnny gave me the assignment.

"I don't know. Johnny gave me the assignment."

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Really? Yeah.

"Really? Yeah."

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sitting at this desk and all that.

"sitting at this desk and all that."

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Thank you. Yeah.

"Thank you. Yeah."

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But don't you think that as a real reporter, you kinda suck?

"But don't you think that as a real reporter, you kinda suck?"

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Yeah. I know, I know.

"Yeah. I know, I know."

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That's what I said. I said that.

"That's what I said. I said that."

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But Johnny said I should have more confidence in myself.

"But Johnny said I should have more confidence in myself."

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Really? Anyways, will you

"Really? Anyways, will you"

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help me with this, real quick?

"help me with this, real quick?"

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No, here--

"No, here--"

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Lisa. Yeah.

"Lisa. Yeah."

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You didn't just come here for a simple make-out session.

"You didn't just come here for a simple make-out session."

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I...can sense it.

"I...can sense it."

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Oh. Well, yeah, it's not what you think, Johnny.

"Oh. Well, yeah, it's not what you think, Johnny."

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Um... Don't be afraid, Rosebud.

"Um... Don't be afraid, Rosebud."

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Oh. Well, to be honest with you,

"Oh. Well, to be honest with you,"

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I-- I really think second base is my limit right now.

"I-- I really think second base is my limit right now."

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Lisa Miller, light of my life, fire of my loins...

"Lisa Miller, light of my life, fire of my loins..."

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will you marry me?

"will you marry me?"

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WNYX. Oh-- Oh, hi, Mr. James.

"WNYX. Oh-- Oh, hi, Mr. James."

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Yeah, Dave, did you get the bag from Johnny yet?

"Yeah, Dave, did you get the bag from Johnny yet?"

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Uh, no, sir, but I'm trying.

"Uh, no, sir, but I'm trying."

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No, no, no, no, now do or not do, Dave.

"No, no, no, no, now do or not do, Dave."

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There is no try.

"There is no try."

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I understand.

"I understand."

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No, no. No, everything-- Yeah, everything's fine.

"No, no. No, everything-- Yeah, everything's fine."

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You-- You folks just have a good time. Okay.

"You-- You folks just have a good time. Okay."

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Sir, what was that about?

"Sir, what was that about?"

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That was your parents.

"That was your parents."

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They're going out to see a movie.

"They're going out to see a movie."

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So I kinda got the place to myself.

"So I kinda got the place to myself."

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I don't relax, Dave. I mean, the way I'm feeling right now,

"I don't relax, Dave. I mean, the way I'm feeling right now,"

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I'm capable of something desperate.

"I'm capable of something desperate."

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What do you mean?

"What do you mean?"

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Dave, I can't talk anymore. I gotta go.

"Dave, I can't talk anymore. I gotta go."

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It's so big.

"It's so big."

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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What did you do?

"What did you do?"

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Did you fake a pregnancy?

"Did you fake a pregnancy?"

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What are you waiting for? Put it on.

"What are you waiting for? Put it on."

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Well, exactly. You have broken the five-day barrier.

"Well, exactly. You have broken the five-day barrier."

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He proposed to you? Yeah.

"He proposed to you? Yeah."

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Come on.

"Come on."

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Jeez, Dave. You give jealous ex-boyfriends a very bad name.

"Jeez, Dave. You give jealous ex-boyfriends a very bad name."

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I'm not jealous. It's just that this is wrong,

"I'm not jealous. It's just that this is wrong,"

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and she doesn't love him.

"and she doesn't love him."

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Actually, I think I might. No.

"Actually, I think I might. No."

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You know? I like him, he says he loves me.

"You know? I like him, he says he loves me."

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On the other hand, we haven't had sex yet,

"On the other hand, we haven't had sex yet,"

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he's not met my family--

"he's not met my family--"

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Why can't you suck up to me?

"Why can't you suck up to me?"

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I tried it the first few days. It didn't take.

"I tried it the first few days. It didn't take."

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Since you got here, you had one goal.

"Since you got here, you had one goal."

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Manipulate her. And I don't even know why.

"Manipulate her. And I don't even know why."

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But I'm not gonna stand for it, all right?

"But I'm not gonna stand for it, all right?"

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All right, Dave. I'm gonna be honest with you.

"All right, Dave. I'm gonna be honest with you."

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Nobody believes a word you say, anyway.

"Nobody believes a word you say, anyway."

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I'm evil.

"I'm evil."

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I've been that way for a long time.

"I've been that way for a long time."

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of stealing Jimmy's empire.

"of stealing Jimmy's empire."

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All that changed the moment I laid eyes on Lisa.

"All that changed the moment I laid eyes on Lisa."

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Oh, come on.

"Oh, come on."

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You can't just turn off your evilosity.

"You can't just turn off your evilosity."

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The word is "evilness," Dave. And yeah, I can.

"The word is "evilness," Dave. And yeah, I can."

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I happen to have a talent for evil.

"I happen to have a talent for evil."

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Well, then why do it?

"Well, then why do it?"

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Well, it fills that void within me. The void that Lisa fills.

"Well, it fills that void within me. The void that Lisa fills."

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I'm a hollow man, Dave.

"I'm a hollow man, Dave."

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I'm like a cheap chocolate Easter Bunny.

"I'm like a cheap chocolate Easter Bunny."

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So you're telling me that you would give up evil for Lisa.

"So you're telling me that you would give up evil for Lisa."

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Oh, in a heartbeat.

"Oh, in a heartbeat."

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If Lisa married me, I'd finally be able to give up all this

"If Lisa married me, I'd finally be able to give up all this"

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shallow corporate intrigue and pursue my real dream.

"shallow corporate intrigue and pursue my real dream."

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And what's that? Teaching English

"And what's that? Teaching English"

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as a second language.

"as a second language."

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Are you seri-- I mean, are you serious?

"Are you seri-- I mean, are you serious?"

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Do you really mean this?

"Do you really mean this?"

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I'll drop this plot against Jimmy like a hot potato.

"I'll drop this plot against Jimmy like a hot potato."

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All right. Okay.

"All right. Okay."

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Prove it.

"Prove it."

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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Okay, give me a minute.

"Okay, give me a minute."

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No, I am not going to be

"No, I am not going to be"

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Why not?

"Why not?"

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It'll be fun.

"It'll be fun."

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I mean, besides, i-i-it's perfect.

"I mean, besides, i-i-it's perfect."

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Mr. James gets his freedom, you get to marry a guy

"Mr. James gets his freedom, you get to marry a guy"

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who makes you swoon every time he touches you

"who makes you swoon every time he touches you"

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with his magic fingers.

"with his magic fingers."

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Your mom is on the line. It sounds very important.

"Your mom is on the line. It sounds very important."

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Okay, I'll take the call.

"Okay, I'll take the call."

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