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Clips from NewsRadio - Spooky Rapping Crypt (S05E05)

"Okay, I'm gonna cry now."
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"Thanks for the warning, sir."
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"Profits."
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"When do you want them? Max?"
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"Now."
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"That's right."
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"What do we want?"
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"Well, Beth, nice to see you back. What a surprise."
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"I'm only here to free my oppressed co-workers, Dave."
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"Really? Tell me, Max,"
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"But look how red she gets when she gets excited."
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"She's like a glorious sunset."
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"Beautiful."
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"Beth, I think you're gonna have to give this up."
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"I don't think Mr. James is gonna budge."
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"I know you mean well, Lisa, but with an attitude like that,"
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"it's no wonder you've got blood all over your shoes."
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"Beth, I know this sounds crazy, but ju-just trust me on this."
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"If you really want profit sharing, just give up"
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"You know, Dave, unless you're a federal mediator,"
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"I would rather take this up with the puppet master himself."
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"That's right. I'm back."
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"Yes, sir, she's back, and you're happy she's back."
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"Beth, as happy as I am you are safe,"
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"I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the building"
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"before I have you thrown out."
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"Oh, yeah? I've called the security guards."
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"Sir, what are you doing? Come on, sh-she's back. Make up."
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"Dave, do I look like I'm wearing a leopard skin loincloth to you?"
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"I can't back down now."
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"That's all right, Mr. James."
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"You can have me beaten by security guards,"
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"because one of them is bound to be cute."
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"and come back here and give you a whoopin'."
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"Formidable, but you should never tell an adversary your plans."
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"You know you can have me thrown out, Mr. James,"
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"Fine, but if you come back here, I'll have you arrested."
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"Poor little lamb."
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"[♪]"
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"All of us would like to say"
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"that we think you've treated Beth very shabbily,"
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"whatever it takes to get her back."
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"I don't cave in that easy."
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"Well, why not?"
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"Because, next time one of you guys wants something,"
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"all you have to do is threaten to quit."
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"Yeah, but we wouldn't do that."
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"Well, actually I-I probably would."
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"Mr. James, can you just please give in"
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"and we can get back to normal?"
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"And what will you do if I don't?"
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"Lisa will ritually abuse you."
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"Is that true, Lisa?"
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"Yes, sir, yes, if that's what it takes, yes."
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"All right, we're gonna settle this right now."
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"Beth, tell Mr. James you don't want profit sharing."
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"No, not on your life. I haven't even begun to fight yet."
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"All right. Fine, fine."
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"Now, Mr. James, tell Beth what you told me"
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"Can't do that."
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"Oh! Look, Max, this is a private meeting."
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"but that's when I'm needed the most."
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"Okay, okay. Let's just-- Listen to me, Beth."
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"Mr. James wanted to give you profit sharing."
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"Dave. No, Mr. James."
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"But he wanted to give it to you as a gift."
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"he was caving in to your demands."
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"An-And you."
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"And then, because of her special friendship with you,"
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"than all your other friendships around here."
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"She was a little upset"
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"Is that how you really feel about it?"
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"I am so sorry."
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"Oh, let's not ever fight again."
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"BOTH: Never, never, never, never, never, never."
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"Max?"
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"Fine. I didn't wanna be part of your stupid hug anyway."
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"Okay, look. All right, let's go outside"
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"and talk about profit sharing."
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"Well, that was kinda sickening."
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"Yeah."
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"Want a hug?"
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"Yeah, but don't tell anyone about it."
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"Matthew, for the last time, I am not a witch,"
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"Oh, really?"
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"Well, there's only one way to find out."
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"What the hell is this?"
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"A little liquid treat I call water."
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"When does she start melting?"
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"You did use holy water, right?"
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"You know? I'm gonna go get"
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"What do I have to do to make you stop doing this?"
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"who tried to corrupt my immortal soul and apologize."
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"I'm the unholy succubus"
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"that tried to corrupt your immortal soul."
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"I'm very, very, very sorry and I'll never do it again."
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"Okay, apology accepted. Great."
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"But that's not good enough. God, no. What?"
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"Teach me how to do it."
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"Okay."
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"No, no, no, not just-- Not just the smile, Dave."
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"I read an article in the paper this morning"
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"And when we cut it open, what do you think is inside?"
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"Yeah, and, um, they gave the employees"
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"Well!"
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"Oh, then good."
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"Why did she have to go and ask for profit sharing, Dave?"
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"Beth is my favorite person in this office."
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"I know, I know, I know, but this is very serious. Please?"
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"Satanic ritual abuse."
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"What?! Shh!"
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"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."
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"Yeah, don't I know it."
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"You know what? You're right. See?"
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"We didn't have an office Halloween party this year."
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"You said it."
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"Ah! Put your hand in the garbage disposal, huh? Mmm. Messy."
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"Fine, Dave."
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"And a frilly shirt and an eye patch."
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"Get away from me."
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