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Clips from NewsRadio - Spooky Rapping Crypt (S05E05)

"Yeah. Come on, let's go!"
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"Okay, uh, let's get this meeting going, all right?"
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"Thank God. All right, now, uh,"
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"he'd like to make."
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"Yeah. Actually, sir,"
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"Would it be all right if I went first?"
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"Oh, you know I can't deny you anything, sweetie pie."
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"Oh! I was hoping you would say that."
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"Okay, go ahead."
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"And there was this article about a soybean plant in Georgia."
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"Oh, yo-yo-you read that, did you?"
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"Uh, yeah, I did."
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"a share in the profits, and then the productivity"
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"went, like, sky high, like 300 percent or something, right,"
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"And so, um, on behalf of all the employees of WNYX,"
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"that you put us on a profit sharing system."
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"in what Mr. James has to say, then."
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"So, you-- You want profit sharing, do you?"
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"Yes, I do, sir."
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"Well, you will get profit sharing over my dead body."
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"What's wrong with Mr. James?"
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"I don't know. I, uh..."
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"More importantly, Beth,"
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"since when do you care about profit sharing?"
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"Well, I know you guys think that I just coast along"
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"on my funny outfits, and my, you know, quirky mannerisms."
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"Hey, I have a cause."
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"Really? What is it, Max?"
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"Cute girls with red hair."
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"Wanna have a rally?"
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"Hello. I'm sorry I'm late, everybody."
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"No one cares. Now, look."
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"This is some simple misunderstanding."
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"Don't you wanna know where I was? No."
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"from my first session with my therapist."
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"Oh! Yeah. Good for you, Matthew."
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"Yeah, that's right, good for me."
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"Bad for you, Lisa."
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"What's that supposed to mean?"
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"You know what it means, all right."
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"Okay, that was weird. So, um..."
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"I suggest we all pretend it never happened."
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"Sir, do you feel okay?"
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"No, Dave, I feel like jumping out of this window. Why?"
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"Why'd she have to go and do that?"
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"Why'd you have to turn her down?"
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"I thought you wanted profit sharing."
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"I do, I do, Dave, but then she had to go and ask for it."
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"She screwed it all up."
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"All right, just sit down for a second."
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"Le-Let me tell you the first rule of business."
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"When an employee asks for something,"
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"don't give it to 'em."
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"Why not?"
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"Because if I give it to 'em,"
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"like I'm a-- Like I'm a caveman."
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"But, sir, uh, cavemen didn't cave in."
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"Well, point to Jimmy."
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"No profit sharing ever, right?"
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"No, it doesn't mean that. It means when she stops asking,"
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"then I'll give it to her."
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"Oh, well, if it makes any difference to you,"
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"you know, she wasn't speaking for the rest of the staff."
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"She was acting on her own."
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"That's supposed to make me feel better?"
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"I'm not going to pretend that doesn't hurt, sir."
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"Oh, you, come on over here, cupcake."
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"You know I think you're great."
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"You're just great and everything."
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"But, you know, Beth is like a fragile, little helpless doll."
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"The hell she is."
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"Now, would you le-let me finish."
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"No, in private, please. It's about my therapy."
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"Dude, no offense, but one of the reasons"
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"why we encouraged you to go to therapy"
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"Well, my therapist put me under hypnosis, right?"
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"And in that state I was able to..."
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"[CHOKING UP] Recover some memories"
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"of some things that happened to me."
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"What kind of things?"
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"What, do you mean sacrificing live chickens, stuff like that?"
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"Nothing like that. This was basically just..."
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"Look, dude. I've read a lot about this memory crap."
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"And, mostly, it turns out to be totally bogus."
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"You know, I bet your parents are probably completely innocent."
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"No, no, no. Not my parents. You guys."
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"It was, like, five or six weeks ago. Don't you remember?"
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"No. Yeah."
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"Because you guys were just victims like me."
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"But I happen to know who the ringleader was."
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"Who? Well..."
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"Back off, witch."
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"All right, what the hell was that?"
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"What was what? Nothing happened."
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"I'm having a perfectly normal day."
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"Right here, Max."
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"Mr. James."
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"Beth will now negotiate with you"
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"on the subject of profit sharing."
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"Kind of table? Table in the break room."
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"Arrival? She's there."
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"Time limit? None. Sucker."
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"Come on, let's get it on."
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"If you could just wait here for a moment? Mr. James?"
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"Uh, Beth's on a long-distance call to Japan."
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"Oh."
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"Yeah, I'll take a soda."
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"We don't have any soda."
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"Actually, there's a fridge full of soda over there."
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"And I said, we don't have any soda."
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"Wow! This is gonna be tougher than I thought."
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"Hello, Mr. James, I'm sorry to keep you waiting."
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"I was tied up on a long distance call."
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"No problem."
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"Won't you have a seat?"
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"Yeah."
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"It's kind of intimidating."
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"It's nice work, kid. You're doing great."
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"But! If you think I'm gonna give you profit sharing,"
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"you are out of your mind."
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