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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer the Great (S06E06)

"- What do they do there, Dad? - I'm a member."
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"What do they do? What don't they do?"
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"Oh, they do so many things, they never stop."
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"- Not as such, no. - I'm a Stonecutter."
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"Remember those self-hypnosis classes we took to help us ignore Grampa?"
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"- I'm a chicken, Marge. - I know, I know."
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"- What? - What?"
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"You're a member of the Stonecutters, Grampa?"
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"Oh, sure. Let's see."
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"I'm an Elk, a Mason, a Communist."
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"I'm the president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance, for some reason."
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"Here it is. The Stonecutters."
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"I'll take this Communist one too."
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"Coming through. Can't throw me out. My father's a member."
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"- I'm in, I'm in. - Okay, okay, Homer, you're in."
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"Just don't point that thing at me."
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"- As soon as Number One gets here. - Number One?"
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"What kind of stupid wiener name is that?"
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""Hello, my name is Number One.""
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"And so forth."
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"Hey, 29, get over here!"
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"- Is he the leader? - Of this chapter."
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"Okay, okay. I didn't ask for your life story."
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"All Stonecutters must take the Leap of Faith."
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"If you survive this five-story plunge, your character will be proven."
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"Happy landings!"
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"And this we call the Unblinking Eye."
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"And exactly like the Wreck of the Hesperus."
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"...and my head be plucked of all but three hairs."
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"He should have to take a different oath."
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"Well, to be honest, I never got around to ordering that part for you."
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"- Oh, really? - Yes."
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"- Really? - Yes. Yes."
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"But what if I were to shake your hand in this way?"
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"Well, I didn't realize you were a member."
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"So long, suckers."
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"But they gave me these Rollerblades so I can glide to the front door."
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"Sweet."
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"That's because you trust your stupid schoolbooks."
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"Here's what really happened at the signing..."
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"...of the Declaration of Independence."
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"And a nation is born."
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"Quaff! Quaff! Quaff!"
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"We just created the greatest democracy on earth, lowlife commoner! Get out!"
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"Homer, a man who called himself "you know who"..."
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"Sure are popular now that you're a Stonecutter."
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"It's wonderful, Marge. I've never felt so accepted in all my life."
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"These people look deep within my soul..."
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"We do We do"
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"Who leaves Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps?"
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"Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?"
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"We do"
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"Thank you. Tonight we are here..."
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"And in honor of this momentous occasion..."
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"...we're having ribs. - Yeah!"
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"I need a bib. If I slop any on my shirt, I could lose the respect of my brethren."
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"- Homer. - Oh, yeah. Thanks, Lenny."
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"What? Did I miss something?"
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"Oh, God!"
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"No, Homer, no! This is outrageous! You can't do that!"
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"And the official Stonecutter underwear too."
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"Please don't kick me out. This society's everything to me."
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"Please give me another chance. I've learned my lesson!"
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"That's it!"
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"- How can we punish him further? - Oh, sorry."
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"...you are hereby banished from the Stonecutters forever."
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"...dragging behind you the Stone of Shame."
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"The mark!"
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"Oh, that. It's just a birthmark. And I'll thank you not to stare."
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"He's the Chosen One."
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"...whom the sacred parchment prophesied would lead us to glory."
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"Attach the Stone of Triumph!"
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"Mental note: Don't overdo this."
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"Peekaboo!"
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"- You're not a god, Homer. - Remember, Dad, all glory is fleeting."
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"- No. - I know you're happy now..."
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"...but it won't last forever. - Everything lasts forever."
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"Remove the girl."
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"You're not with your Stonecutters. There are no lackeys around to carry out your..."
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"Another strike for the Chosen One!"
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"Hurrah!"
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"- Oh, most assuredly. - Absolutely."
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"- I'm out. - No, no, no. Homer..."
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"- Good one. - Nice hand, Chosen One."
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"You know, I think you guys are letting me win."
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"No! No! No!"
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"I mean, I'm not perfect, right?"
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"Run."
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"Class dismissed."
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"Lisa, you were right. My happiness is fading."
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"You're experiencing spiritual emptiness because your power has isolated you..."
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"...from other human beings. - What do you mean, isolated?"
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"Well, maybe you could reach out to the community and help other people."
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"I'll get a bunch of monkeys, dress them up and make them reenact the Civil War."
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"Dad, that doesn't help people."
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"Which they almost certainly would."
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"Brothers. Brothers!"
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"Helping others makes our own lives better and makes us better people."
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"So instead of just shooting pool and drinking beer..."
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"...let us Stonecutters use what we have to help the less fortunate."
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"Oh, for the love of God!"
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"Somebody get the Jaws of Life!"
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"Higher! Higher!"
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"You've won this round."
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"It looks so much better."
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"...this is the beginning of a better world for all of us."
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"...with Orville, Jack and Mister. Can't we just do something to his voice box?"
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"We might as well face the truth."
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"Maybe. But maybe we don't wanna be Stonecutters no more."
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"This is much better than the old Stonecutter hall."
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"Silence. I now call to order the first meeting..."
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"...of the ancient, mystic society of..."
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"Hey, fellas. Can I join?"
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"Loyal Stonecutters..."
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"...let us begin our reenactment of the Battle of Gettysburg."
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"Somebody's gonna get parasites."
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"- The Black Panthers? - No, the family Simpson..."
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"And only two of those members have special rings."
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"- Yeah! - Yeah!"
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"I meant our wedding rings!"
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