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Clips from Station 19 (2018) - I Guess I'm Floating (S04E04)

"They had family to lean on,"
Station 19 (2018)
"even when the very foundation of their world was shaken."
Station 19 (2018)
"He has a family -- us."
Station 19 (2018)
"All we're trying to say --"
Station 19 (2018)
"we'd like to be your family, too."
Station 19 (2018)
"[ Chuckles ]"
Station 19 (2018)
"[ Waves gently lapping ]"
Station 19 (2018)
"I have a quarter-sized tumor in my testicle."
Station 19 (2018)
"You have a what? Cancer."
Station 19 (2018)
"Cancer."
Station 19 (2018)
"When did you find out?"
Station 19 (2018)
"The day before we heard about George Floyd."
Station 19 (2018)
"It's a lot to process."
Station 19 (2018)
"I'm sorry, brother."
Station 19 (2018)
"They do a biopsy?No."
Station 19 (2018)
"No, no, they -- they're gonna do a surgery"
Station 19 (2018)
"to take the entire testicle,"
Station 19 (2018)
"and then they will determine if it's cancer --"
Station 19 (2018)
"you know, which they're pretty sure it is."
Station 19 (2018)
"Wait, so, uh, surgery, then diagnosis?"
Station 19 (2018)
"Yeah, exactly."
Station 19 (2018)
"That's the same thing that --Pruitt Herrera had."
Station 19 (2018)
"Yeah."
Station 19 (2018)
"But he didn't --"
Station 19 (2018)
"Nope."
Station 19 (2018)
"No, he did not."
Station 19 (2018)
"♪♪"
Station 19 (2018)
"What do we tell the boys?The truth."
Station 19 (2018)
"We don't even know what the truth is."
Station 19 (2018)
"We don't know if it's cancer."
Station 19 (2018)
"We don't want to wait to find out.I'm their father."
Station 19 (2018)
"They look up to me, you know, for --"
Station 19 (2018)
"for protection and support."
Station 19 (2018)
"I-I-I don't want them to see me like this."
Station 19 (2018)
"A diagnosis doesn't make you less of a man."
Station 19 (2018)
"You show them it's okay to be vulnerable."
Station 19 (2018)
"Honestly, I don't want anyone to see me like this right now."
Station 19 (2018)
"You need a support system, Ben."
Station 19 (2018)
"No, what I need is more information, alright,"
Station 19 (2018)
"to see if it's spread. What's the prognosis?"
Station 19 (2018)
"And the only way to get those answers is through the orchiectomy."
Station 19 (2018)
"Look, I'm -- I'm not ready for the surgery!"
Station 19 (2018)
"Can you please just..."
Station 19 (2018)
"back me up right now?"
Station 19 (2018)
"Okay."
Station 19 (2018)
"Fine."
Station 19 (2018)
"You want a second opinion?"
Station 19 (2018)
"'Cause I can call Catherine Fox right now."
Station 19 (2018)
"What? No. No, no. Hey, hey, hey, hey."
Station 19 (2018)
"M-Miranda!Ben, wait!"
Station 19 (2018)
"[ Car horn honks ]"
Station 19 (2018)
"What is the matter with you?!"
Station 19 (2018)
"[ Gearshift clicks ]"
Station 19 (2018)
"[ Sniffs ]"
Station 19 (2018)
"I'm sorry."
Station 19 (2018)
"You know the mortality rate of Black men and cancer."
Station 19 (2018)
"Yeah, I-I know, okay? I don't need a lesson."
Station 19 (2018)
"I'm lucky."
Station 19 (2018)
"I have access, I have resources,"
Station 19 (2018)
"I-I-I have you forcing me to go to the doctor."
Station 19 (2018)
"I have every reason to fight,"
Station 19 (2018)
"but I also have every reason to l--"
Station 19 (2018)
"I eat right. I exercise."
Station 19 (2018)
"I am at the top of my game physically."
Station 19 (2018)
"Why -- Why is this happening to me?"
Station 19 (2018)
"It's not just happening to you."
Station 19 (2018)
"Miranda, I am not in the mood.No, no, Benjamin."
Station 19 (2018)
"Do not "Miranda" me, because I am your wife,"
Station 19 (2018)
"and everything that happens to you happens to me."
Station 19 (2018)
"You are not in this alone."
Station 19 (2018)
"Look, I know what it's like to go from doctor to patient."
Station 19 (2018)
"I-I know how you feel."
Station 19 (2018)
"But you need to do this."
Station 19 (2018)
"I need you to get the orchiectomy because..."
Station 19 (2018)
"it's been a hell of a year."
Station 19 (2018)
"My mother died."
Station 19 (2018)
"Andrew DeLuca died."
Station 19 (2018)
"Meredith Grey justcame off the vent."
Station 19 (2018)
"And, you know, call it selfish,"
Station 19 (2018)
"but I cannot lose you!"
Station 19 (2018)
"I wouldn't be able to take that."
Station 19 (2018)
"I wouldn't be able to function..."
Station 19 (2018)
"or be a person anymore."
Station 19 (2018)
"I..."
Station 19 (2018)
"I wouldn't be able to be there for our boys,"
Station 19 (2018)
"and I -- no, we--"
Station 19 (2018)
"we need to be there for our boys."
Station 19 (2018)
"And I cannot imagine walking through this life"
Station 19 (2018)
"without you in it, Benjamin Warren."
Station 19 (2018)
"That would break me."
Station 19 (2018)
"Do it for me."
Station 19 (2018)
"[ Seatbelt unbuckles ]"
Station 19 (2018)
"Come here. Come here."
Station 19 (2018)
"♪♪"
Station 19 (2018)
"All right, so -- so, when's the surgery?"
Station 19 (2018)
"I haven't scheduled it yet."
Station 19 (2018)
"Ben, we're fighting for our lives"
Station 19 (2018)
"in the middle of the ocean,"
Station 19 (2018)
"and a standard medical procedure to save your life"
Station 19 (2018)
"is too much because, what, manhood?"
Station 19 (2018)
"Well, yeah, you know? And other things."
Station 19 (2018)
"You know, like, uh, like -- like losing testosterone"
Station 19 (2018)
"and my strength and vigor --You know,"
Station 19 (2018)
"you can be the world's cheerleader,"
Station 19 (2018)
"but then you cop out and ostrich"
Station 19 (2018)
"when it's your turn to need help."
Station 19 (2018)
"What -- What --"
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"What happened to survival mode?"
Station 19 (2018)
"Keeping your head in the sand, man, will get you killed."
Station 19 (2018)
"Okay, for the record, when I helped you"
Station 19 (2018)
"with your little crisis of confidence a little while ago,"
Station 19 (2018)
"I was much nicer."
Station 19 (2018)
"A-And I never said I wasn't gonna get it."
Station 19 (2018)
"I-I just -- Captain Herrera."
Station 19 (2018)
"A few weeks before he died, he gave me a pep talk."
Station 19 (2018)
"I was, uh --"
Station 19 (2018)
"I was thinking about giving Pru up for adoption,"
Station 19 (2018)
"and he told me -- he said, "Son,"
Station 19 (2018)
"I'm about to die, and all I wish for"
Station 19 (2018)
"is more time with my little girl.""
Station 19 (2018)
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