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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - Gail (S03E03)

"♪"
What We Do in the Shadows
"[glass shatters]"
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"[cloth ripping]"
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"- Oh. Are you leaving? - Yeah. It's getting late"
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"and I really want to get back to my condo"
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"for Grey's Anatomy."
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"I think Nandor is going to ask you something"
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"stupid, pathetic, and, uh, get rejected again, as usual."
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"[laughs] Nandor knows that Thursday nights"
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"are for the gals."
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"Meaning me and Meredith Grey."
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"But, uh, tonight is, uh, Saturday."
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"It's what?"
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"Tonight is not Thursday, tonight is Saturday."
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"Excuse me, sweetie, you are on my slacks."
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"Oh. I just think Nandor will be down"
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"- in just a little, tiny, one little moment... - I gotta go."
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"Gail! Wait! Oh, I want to talk to you about Nandor."
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"We can have a girlie to girlie conversation."
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"- There's not a lot to talk about, really. - Gail!"
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"Wait. Wait! There is a bloody plunket of a man upstairs"
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"who has feelings, and those feelings are going to get hurt"
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"and then we will never choose a font!"
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"- Gail! -[distorted voice]: Get away from me!"
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"-[growls] - Gail?"
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"[howling]"
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"[growling, groaning]"
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"Fuckin' hell. Oh!"
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"So many nipples."
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"[snarls]"
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"Shoo! Shoo!"
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"[roars]"
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"Oh, Nandor, what have you done?"
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"I'll be completely honest with you,"
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"I've never done an actual car reassembly before."
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"- Yeah, no shit, my beauty. -[horn honks]"
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"What the fuck, you two?"
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"Do you know what kind of damage you've done"
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"to some of our most priceless artifacts"
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"with this jackass stunt of yours?"
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"A good evening to you, too."
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"- We may have bumped into a few things. -[scoffs]"
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"You shattered the crystal blood chalice"
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"of Vlad the Impaler himself!"
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"You left an enormous dent in the sarcophagus of Amon-Ra,"
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"- and you tore the Shroud of Urine! - COLIN: Wait, wait."
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"There's a Shroud of Turin in there?"
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"No. The Shroud of Urine."
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"It is a completely different thing"
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"and even more valuable."
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"And it is ruined!"
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"What you're failing to understand"
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"is the ball ache that we both had trying to get this"
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"from inside there to out here."
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"That would make a lot of sense to me,"
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"if there wasn't a giant red button."
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"[alarm blares]"
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"Ah, the magic of mechanical garage doors."
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"COLIN: Yeah, okay. But how were we supposed to see"
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"the big red button when we were inside?"
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"You're right. A couple of idiots inside"
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"couldn't see the other red button?"
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"That says "push to open"?"
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"- Fuck it! -[alarm blares]"
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"Have fun! I've got to go call the insurance people!"
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"They're gonna rip me apart."
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"Well, I think I'm gonna head home and do my research"
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"- from there for a while. - No, hang on."
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"I can give you a lift, if you like."
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"- Yeah, sure, that sounds fun. -[chuckles]"
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"You'll have to top her up, though."
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"-Can do. -[chuckles]"
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"LASZLO: Right."
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"- You ready to roll? - Yeah."
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"[horn honks]"
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"- Let's do it. -[engine sputters]"
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"[sputtering]"
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"[screaming]"
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"Shit."
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"[screaming]"
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"Just kidding. I'm fine."
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"I'm fine. It's just a little fire."
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"[laughs]"
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"NADJA: Honestly, of all the things!"
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"You have really pissed all over our pips this time, Nandor."
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"Okay, yes. My Gail happens to be a werewolf."
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"-[hisses] - But when we met, she was still human."
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"She's only recently been turned in a werewoman."
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"Which is the proper term for a female werewolf."
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"And you knew this, and you didn't tell us."
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"- Well... - I defended that woman"
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"against my wife's jealousy."
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"I don't dislike Gail!"
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"But this, me old chap, is a bridge too far."
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"Are you insinuating"
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"that I would do it with her while she is in wolf form?"
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"Because I did, but I was in bat form."
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"And it was exclusively hand stuff."
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"We are the leaders of the Vampiric Council."
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"How do you think it looks that one of our own"
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"is porking our mortal enemy!?"
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"Guillermo, say something, please!"
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"Oh, no, don't get me in the middle of this."
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"I just want whatever makes my master happy."
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"NANDOR: Correct answer, Guillermo."
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"It's not gonna last."
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"Does it not bother you that she's strung you along"
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"for 40 years over becoming a vampire"
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"and the moment a werewolf shows her his lipstick,"
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"she lets him turn her into a werewoman?"
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"Being a werewolf is not a crime!"
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"The only crime that my Gail is guilty of is stealing."
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"Stealing my heart."
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"[Doll Nadja groans, speaks foreign language]"
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"-[Nadja Doll groans] - NANDOR: Come on, guys. Just..."
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"come with me and meet her and her clan"
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"and we can mingle together."
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"Come see that werewolves ain't so bad."
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"- I'm in. - Thank you, Colin Robinson."
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"- That's one. Laszlo? - NADJA: Traitor!"
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