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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - Gail (S03E03)

"- it's like, "Ah!" You know? - NADJA: Ah."
What We Do in the Shadows
"Too much water."
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"- GAIL: Too much. - You need a yogurt."
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"- I got your favorite. - GAIL: Oh, boy."
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"- A yogurt! -[Nandor vocalizing]"
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"-LASZLO: You like that? - COLIN: I do like that."
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"Nice, hey? Feel her curves. She's a beaut."
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"Ah, yeah. What's it run on?"
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"Petrol and coal."
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"- Hybrid. - You might say."
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"It's called a Stutz Laszlo."
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"They only made four. They gave one to Henry Ford"
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"and then he gave his one to his hero, Mussolini."
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"That... seems about right."
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"- Right. -[engine sputters]"
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"-[revs] - Whoa-ho!"
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"- Did you hear that? - Yeah."
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"Come on, man, let's go for a ride."
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"We can go wherever you want."
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"Montenegro, Cote d'Azur."
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"- You name it. - Buffalo?"
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"Let's do it."
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"Yeah, all right."
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"- Yes! Now we're talking. - Sounds kind of fun."
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"- A little adventure. - Yeah."
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"COLIN: Energy vampires love a good road trip."
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"I, myself, always have my mix ready to go."
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"25 "Hey There Delilahs.""
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"Oh, and I have my trail mix."
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"Not to eat, of course,"
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"but to shove into the crevices of the seats."
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"Shit. I'm gonna need you to help me get it out of here."
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"Okay, just come back, just a little."
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"What's the problem?"
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"Um, there's a block down here. Let me get it."
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"-[screeching] -[Colin screaming]"
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"[Colin coughs]"
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"What the hell?"
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"- Did I get you? - Did you get-- Yeah."
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"I have no reflection in the rearview mirror."
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"You don't, but I do. I reflect."
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"Okay."
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"Don't think the room is big enough."
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"- I don't think we can get it out. - I think they"
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"built this around the car."
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"It was built around it?"
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"Around the car!"
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"- I-I have a crazy idea. - What?"
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"- Are you in? -[engine banging]"
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"- Right. - What?"
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"No! [grunts]"
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"Shit. Sorry, man. Did I get you?"
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"-[choking]: Back up. - Do what?"
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"Back up."
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"I don't know if it can do that."
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"Reverse, you shithead."
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"[quietly]: I wanted to ask Gail something,"
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"but I wanted to go and get something"
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"that I want to give her when I ask her that something,"
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"so maybe if you just stay here and keep her company,"
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"I can go and do that"
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"and maybe towel off my, uh, face and genitals."
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"Uh... Fine."
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"- Yes? Thank you. -[chuckles] Yes."
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"Thank you. Oh, Guillermo!"
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"Have you seen my genital towel?"
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"- Guillermo. - Ah!"
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"We're just-- we're just watching Twilight, see?"
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"- Where is the ring? - What?"
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"The ring in the box! For Gail."
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"- Is this it? - Give me that!"
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"And I am borrowing this towel."
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"That's my favorite sweater."
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"- LASZLO: It's simple. - Mm? All right."
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"We take the car apart here,"
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"move it outside, then reassemble it there."
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"How long did you own this car before it was taken from you?"
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"- About ten minutes. - Oh. Then-- All right."
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"LASZLO: I haven't spent much time with Colin Robinson"
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"in the past, for the main, obvious reason"
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"that he's incredibly fucking dull."
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"If you buy a German car,"
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"you're basically supporting the Nazi party."
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"LASZLO: I don't know. Maybe"
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"I've gone soft in my old age,"
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"but I've noticed that he looks a bit lonely."
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"I thought I'd spend some time with him."
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"I mean, you could call it my good deed."
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"You're not masturbating, are you?"
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"COLIN: You know, I've never really"
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"spent much time with Laszlo before."
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"With Nadja being away so much with her Council duties,"
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"I've decided to take pity on the poor guy."
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"I-I think he just needs a friend."
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"You've got to keep notes as I'm talking,"
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"otherwise it'll all go to shit."
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"Well, I'm trying to keep up"
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"with all these parts you're making up."
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"- What is this? - I don't know."
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"A wiggabuhbiggle is what you called it."
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"The man knows his cars."
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"Yeah, actually, I used to think"
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"that my parents were energy vampires,"
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"but I-I don't know anymore."
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"My dad was really dynamic and outgoing,"
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"kind of a RuPaul type,"
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"but in the '20s."
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"And my mom, I..."
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"I don't really remember my mom anymore."
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"[clangs]"
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"Did you mum die when you were young?"
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"Nah, she was just boring. Still is."
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"Is this the bonus pile or is that?"
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"I'll be honest. At this point,"
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"I don't think it really matters."
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"- I had a mother once. - Oh?"
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"What-what was she like?"
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"No idea. I was raised by my nanny,"
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"who used to make me learn Latin in the nude."
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"- Oh. - I quite liked it."
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