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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy Googles the Internet! (S03E03)

"that you can look past"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"if you really want to."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"After Gary left, I dated a lot of guys"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but I convinced myself that our differences"
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"were just opportunities for me to grow,"
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"even though deep down I knew"
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"I deserved to be with someone who loved to go dancing"
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"or wasn't a Juggalo king."
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"Of course you deserve better."
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"You're Linda P., damn it."
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"- Oh. - And I'm Titus A."
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"There's nothing wrong with Reuben, but he's not right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""Why the frick did we come here?""
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"I guess I wanted to prove I could move on after Mikey,"
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"when true Lindas must ripen,"
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"like one of those things that hang off plants."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-We should do it together. -You already look great."
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"-Linda-- -You'll never make it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Are you going to stay for Karen's birthday cupcakes?"
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"Uh, is Linda D. proud of her nephew?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"will you drive me to my boyfriend's wife's house later?"
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"What a terrible surprise."
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"I googled you,"
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"Well, that's just Tevin."
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"Hey, Tevin!"
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"You're lucky I'm not legally allowed to come over there."
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"Are you still drinking?"
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"Like you're so perfect."
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"-You're drunk right now. -No, I'm not."
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"Then why are you dressed like that?"
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"Okay, look."
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"The last time I saw you,"
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"you said the only three people I can change"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But what if that's not true?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No matter how hard I try,"
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"Have you seen "girl poops pants at spelling bee"?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And that's coming from"
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""Psychiatrist poops floor at conference.""
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"And so did the guy I like"
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"and a professor"
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"You know, I should have just stayed Kimmy Smith."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No."
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"She can just assume that everybody"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and stop worrying about it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hey, mall!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"This chick got bunkered!"
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"Ah, big time!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-Shut your face! -Bigly!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Okay, here's my point."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Think of all the time and energy"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"you have spent keeping your secret,"
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"deciding whom to tell,"
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"always looking over your shoulder with that big ol' pumpkin head of yours."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Man, they've got some heads."
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"Worrying, hiding,"
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"taking a bus to New Jersey"
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"to get advice from a unlicensed psychiatrist"
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"with a loaded gun in her tights."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I grabbed her hair at a high school basketball game."
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"So, what, I'm just supposed to pretend I don't care?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Look, what would you be doing right now"
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"trying to get in my pants?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"friend give a rap lecture on Greek philosophy."
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"Titus."
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"Um, come in."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What happened last night?"
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"When we turned around, you disappeared"
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"like the table at that magic show I took you to."
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"I'm glad you mentioned your love of magic."
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"It's part of why I'm here."
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"Reuben, like that leopard print unitard"
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"I bought on the sidewalk, I wanted this to work,"
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"but it doesn't."
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"I don't want to eat eels."
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"What if I get electrocuted?"
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"Mr. "I Fell Asleep on the Floor of The Frick.""
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"But when Tilda Swinton does it, it's art."
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"Plus, you're afraid of a vacuum cleaner."
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"When I brought you a bouquet, you ate it."
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"I thought it was a Edible Arrangement. I don't have a lot of fruit experience."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Also, you're weird for naming a baby Linda."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, you live with a grown woman named Kimmy."
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"But I did not name her that."
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"Then maybe this is for the best."
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"For both of us."
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"Uh-uh, ain't nobody tracking what this says about you."
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"Titus is growing. You are devastated."
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"See you at choir practice."
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"I will be late, because a bunch of us"
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"are getting margaritas for Karen's birthday."
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"Socrates,"
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"are the OG rap battles."
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"Oh, my God, is he gonna rap?"
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"This'll make people"
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"forget all about "kid gets erection at bar mitzvah.""
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"Hold on. Uh..."
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"Ah. Uh, I accidentally opened Adobe."
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"I'm not letting Perry go through what I went through,"
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"Do your worst, tubes,"
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"and I don't fudging care."
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"Uh, break it down!"
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"I can't take care of Russ."
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"I spent one day taking care of my acquaintemy Mimi Kanassis,"
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"I'm just not strong enough for this."
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"Wait, Mimi Kanassis with the butt implants?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, yes, but--"
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"You know, she's in here a lot."
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"She does get most of her plastic surgery"
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"by blackmailing doctors on sugar daddy sites."
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"Shaq stopped visiting the kids at this hospital"
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"because of her."
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"No, if you can last a whole day"
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"I'll love him no matter what."
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"Even if that's what he smells like now."
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"Oh, sorry, that's me."
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"Jacqueline. My love."
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"Everybody leave!"
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"But it's also the third thing that comes up when you google me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"one day, all the Mole Woman stories"
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"will be on page two of my search results,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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