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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy Googles the Internet! (S03E03)

"With smooshing victims,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"there's a 40% chance they'll have external funk-sacs."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I don't even know what that means,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but the drawing is mostly stink lines."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, sure, call me about this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"'Cause Kimmy's the expert"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I can't whistle. I saw a hawk once."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That sounds a lot like talking, Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I've been smooshing his picture to try to get a sense"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"of what I'm in for."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The pamphlet says I should also"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"be smearing it with old shrimp"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"while listening to haunted house sound effects."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I've never taken care of anyone in my entire life."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Even with Buckley and Xan,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"there was always a nanny or a horse"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Dang it, Xan."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Has she googled me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"it is always me, me, me, me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mimi."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I could practice on her."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No one's picked her up,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"so she's just been ET-ing in the hospital gift shop stuffed animals."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-Yes. -No!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"This isn't happening!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah. Why do you think I'm always so nice to you?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ugh..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So it's all just out there for anyone to surf"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"All they have to do is type"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"www dot google dot com"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"backslash number sign Q"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"equals sign kimmy plus sign schmidt"?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Look, the Internet has everyone's most embarrassing stuff on it,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"like, even mine."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Type "girl poops pants at spelling bee.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mummichog."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"M-U-M-M-I-C..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, gee!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That doesn't make me feel any better."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, I don't want my bunker stuff on the Internet."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, grown-ups are all over the Internet."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""Drunk lady at White House.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Someone threw up in my purse!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, my gosh. "Drunk lady at White Castle"?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's my therapist."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Is she wearing a bathing suit?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Also, I did not bring a dog in here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Big difference."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- -Ow, quit biting me, dog."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I did what you asked."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Titus. -"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So is that"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"a family name or..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Anyway, this place does a great eel roll."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I did a great eel roll back in the day."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's like the worm, but you're on your side."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mondays..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What the living hell was that?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Linda always says "Mondays" whenever she does an oopsie."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Did Linda do an oopsie?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Did Linda make a poopy?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"She's a grown woman."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Uh-oh. I see what happened."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Somebody got into the SlimFast again."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"If Linda fills her purse with the SlimFast,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and then she gets mad, doesn't she?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mondays!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Are you really gonna take care of me,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"or is this a prank,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The gel is slipping into my leg again!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Push it up!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, good."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You have to trick me like a dog."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I can't sit on a toilet yet,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"so just hold me over the bathtub."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I need to go tub again!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Call Make-A-Wish."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Jacqueline!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I just got a text!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Jacqueline?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Jacqueline, Jacqueline, Jacqueline,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You better not be using up all your data."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I need it for my Twitter war with the other Titus Andromedon."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm trying to find my old therapist."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So far I've learned that"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"she lost her license and a wet shorts contest in Atlantic City,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"which means now I'm invading people's privacy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I hate the Internet!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It was invented by nerds, and you know how they are."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Angry 'cause they're all alone,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and they know it's their fault,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"with every Reuben they meet."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kimmy, I don't think I'm talking about nerds anymore."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus, what happened last night?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I flipped and ran away like a pancake with legs."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"his bitch baby."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Okay, Titus, there are adult Lindas, right?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What do you think they'd say about how crazy it is"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"for a baby to be named Linda?"
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"All of them."
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"So-- So wait."
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"Yes, Linda P."
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"And I know I'm getting in my own way like always--"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Uh, no, it's weird."
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"When I was a kid, everyone called me Lulu."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I didn't start going by Linda till..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-after Gary left. -Mm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I didn't start using it until, I guess,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"around the time my dog"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's a real Lindas' club."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, in my country,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"it's actually pronounced "Leenda,""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"so it is not so weird on the baby."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-That's beautiful. -That's so nice."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I love to travel."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So Kimmy was wrong yet again."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm not being crazy?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, a baby named Linda is weird,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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