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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy Googles the Internet! (S03E03)

"How'd you find me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The Internet."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We used to hook up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I need your help."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"are me, myself, and I."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah, I googled myself."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"At least she was free to live her life--"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kimmy Schmidt is free, okay?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"already knows everything"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Long time--"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Elsa is my boyfriend's wife."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, you're supposed to not care."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, I guess I'd be heading to class to see my..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yes, go do that."
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"Thanks, Andrea."
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"-I went to pick up Linda... -Mm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You haven't seen The Bodyguard."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You gave up halfway through a revolving door."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"In fact, you might say"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"that Socrates' dialogues"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Uh..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hold up, I'm off the beat. I'm off the beat."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wait, just wait. Wait, wait, wait."
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"I-- just one-- one second."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"'cause I'm Kimmy Schmidt,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ms. White?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, no, I'm Jacqueline's sister, Jorqueline,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I can't do it."
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"and I almost killed her."
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"That woman is a nightmare."
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"you're gonna be fine."
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"I loves my vending machine Cup O' Clams."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You mentioned me in your philosophy rap?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's not even the best part."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Now it's the first thing that comes up when you google me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Don't you get it, Xan?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"As long as I just keep doing stuff,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"page three."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"A girl getting a gentleman's C?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"'cause the glass ceiling just got shattered."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Professor Van Arsdale-Yates."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I thought teachers just lived at school."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You'll be the perfect addition."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"to our petite école"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Jean-Claude Van Damme."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Who knew gyming could be so fun?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"My favorite part were those TV-watching chairs with the handlebars."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Those were stationary bikes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Watch out. Non-stationary bike."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, my."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I feel like Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You've not seen the film that inspired"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"my un-started original screenplay"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but there's something I got to tell you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I have a one-year-old daughter."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"My parents, the Octomom."
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"babies be havin' babies."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But when she's in a better mood,"
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"Dinner tonight?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Why not?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm always happy to meet someone who won't remember me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"you know, a fascinating transition."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Can you believe it?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kimberly Cougar Schmidt,"
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"rubbing elbows with the elites the rest of the country hates."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It seems like just yesterday"
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"I was eating hair sandwiches in the bunker."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's not funny."
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"and think about me for once."
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"What does one even wear"
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"to a fifth-gay-baby-meeting date?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Emily Post is silent on the subject."
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"Titus, I'm impressed."
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"You forget, I'm a master of self-improvement, Kimp Bizkit."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and that's exactly what Reuben is."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He's got a baby."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He takes taxis. He's been to Rhode Island."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Sure, it's scary and new, like a recently purchased Halloween mask,"
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"The other day, he suggested we split a dessert."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It was exhilarating."
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"You both have to pretend you don't want the last bite."
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"It's a psychosexual chess match."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus and Kimmy... grown-ups!"
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"If only those rats who stole three of my best wigs"
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"could see us now."
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"Huh... I think they can!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Excuse me, I got a call about my husband, Russ Snyder."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Jacqueline! -Hmm?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Can you believe my Guatemalan butt implants got infected?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"her ass or her face, and I don't have face money!"
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"Oh, can you take me home?"
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"You're delirious, Mimi."
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"I'm her twin sister, Jorqueline,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and I don't exist."
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"my family keeps writing, "New phone who dis?""
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"Jorqueline!"
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"Ms. White?"
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"Hi, I'm Stacey, one of Russ' nurses."
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"We spoke on the phone."
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"No. Everything's fine."
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"In fact, Dr. Moreau thinks"
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"Tomorrow?"
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"I'll... see him tomorrow?"
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"That's why I wanted to talk to you first."
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"Okay."
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"Now, the doctors had to put pieces of thigh in his face,"
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"and rearrange his ossa exterior."
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"Now, the post-smooshing patients"
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"not-- "a ball of holes"?"
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"I know."
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"We'll talk again tomorrow,"
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"is a better murderer than the one last night."
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"Refrigerateur,"
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"how lovely to peep you."
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"Kimmy! Kimmy, there you are!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, welcome to our little salon."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Dianne?"
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"Perry, I am"
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"so, so sorry about hucking that trash can at you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, no, Kimmy, it's fine. Not a big deal."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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