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Clips from South Park - Coon vs. Coon and Friends (S14E14)

"attention to the next villainous scourge."
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"Bravely taking out every whole foods left in the country."
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"the country would soon be rid of all evil."
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"But first,"
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"they would come up against"
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"Justin Bieber."
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"In order to save the earth,"
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"this little butthole had to be stopped."
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"Baby baby baby Oh baby baby baby etc, etc. ~gags~"
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"Yup that's him."
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"So long, Justin Bieber. You little douche bag."
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"The dark God Cthulhu"
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"continues his rampage of destruction and terror,"
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"and there seems to be no hope for man."
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"I'm joined now by a supposed team member of Cthulhu,"
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"the Coon."
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"He's merely a small piece of Coon and friends,"
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"Good and justice."
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"Justin Bieber and most of his fans have just been massacred."
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"Yes, Coon and friends are happy to help."
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"We do not need thanks for our deeds,"
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"we do not want gifts."
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"All we want"
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"is for people to buy our Coon and friends t-shirts for 14.95."
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"Hey fat boy!"
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"To the sunken city of R'Lyeh fallen from the stars!"
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"What kind of sick fuck does that to his friends?"
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"It's not my fault you guys turned evil, Kenny!"
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"You are the bad guy, fat boy, you!"
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"I'm going around making the world a better place!"
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"For you!"
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"You're making it a better place for you!"
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"Right, that's what super heroes do."
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"You banished me, but I'm back!"
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"What does that make me?"
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"Bring back my friends!"
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"Take me!"
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"Mysterion, no!"
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"Only an immortal can kill another immortal!"
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"Take this curse away from me, you big pussy!"
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"We have more important stuff to do."
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"Go on!"
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"Kill me before I kill you!"
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"But bring my friends back, wuss!"
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"Cthulhu!"
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"You are a Coon friend and I am the Coon!"
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"You will listen to me!"
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"I have to know what I am!"
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"Come back!"
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"Fuck you Kenny!"
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"Come back you fat piece of shit!"
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"Hello, my son."
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"If you are seeing this message,"
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"then it must be dark times,"
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"Your true name is Gokzarah."
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"The power given to you comes from a planet far away."
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"You are from that planet, Gokzarah."
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"It is for that reason you"
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"have a power that normal humans do not have."
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"I know you must sometimes see"
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"this power as a curse,"
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"but you were sent here to stop evil from taking over the earth,"
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"and now that time has apparently come."
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"You must now harness and focus your power, Gokzarah."
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"The power of mint & berries yet with a tasty, satisfying crunch."
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"Yes! Yes, please go on!"
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"Your home planet, Kotojn"
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"is known throughout the universe for its berry mines."
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"Needless to say, when the"
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"Mint hunters of Koganra got word of them,"
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"our fate was already sealed, Gokzarah."
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"But our two worlds collided, and soon Mint and Berry were one."
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"Your mother and I sent you as far away as we could."
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"Use your powers, son."
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"Save earth."
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"Shablagoo."
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"I will, father!"
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"No more running away for Mint Berry Crunch!"
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"And with all my strength,"
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"I drag Cthulhu back to the depths from whence he came!"
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"My trusty hero companions are there!"
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"I return them to their"
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"world encased in a protective berry bubble!"
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"Then it's back down to seal"
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"up the hole created by the BP oil company!"
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"Returning home only momentarily to flip of my fat sister!"
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"Dude, thanks for getting us"
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"No, no! We worked as a team!"
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"And finally the evil Coon is right where he belongs."
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"Come on you guys!"
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"This is fucking bullcrap. Let me out!"
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"You're not going anywhere for a long time."
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"There's a big bucket with Butters's poop in here."
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"and there's nothing to eat!"
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"You got poop don't ya?"
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"Well, I'm off."
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"There are still many more questions left unanswered."
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"I need to know what happened to my parents."
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"I will!"
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"Shablagooo!"
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"Fucking Mint Berry fucking Crunch."
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"Wow! Can you believe it, Kenny?"
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"Yeah."
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"I'm tired, guys."
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"Think I'm gonna go to bed."
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"Holy shit, dude!"
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"Kenny! No! No!"
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"What, what?"
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"It's happening again!"
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"Mintberry Crunch went to investigate the Gulf spill crisis!"
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"Like I have mental command"
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"They are all planning to destroy the world."
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"Dude, where the fuck are we?"
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"If this works."
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"Oh you motherfucker."
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"Cool."
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"Go on in, Bradley."
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"What the hell I sent you..."
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"Not enough huh?"
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"I reach the Gulf of Mexico in no time!"
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