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Clips from South Park - Coon vs. Coon and Friends (S14E14)

"Joined by the other Coon friends,"
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"The super heroes came across a cult, in existence for years,"
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"that had been waiting for Cthulhu's arrival!"
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"Sometimes, when everything seems hopeless,"
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"that's when you need to bring it all."
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"That's when you need to bring the CRUNCH!"
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"You're half man, and half berry?"
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"Right!"
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"But then what exactly is your super power?"
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"No, see, that's the problem, dude."
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"That's not really a super power."
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"over all power tools, human kite can fly."
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"And shoot lasers out of my eyes."
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"Ooh, yeah, good one."
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"Mysterion can't die and iron maiden is indestructible..."
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"No, Stan, I'm being serious. I really, really can't die."
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"What?"
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"Like last night in the alley!"
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"The cult leader stabbed me and I bled all over the place."
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"and you called him a bastard!"
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"When was that?"
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"All the time!"
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"I die all the time!"
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"And you assholes never remember!"
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"I think we would remember you dying, dude."
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"Only to wake up in my bed like nothing happened."
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"He's peed his pants."
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"No, no!"
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"Mintberry Crunch doesn't ever pee his pants!"
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"I knew there'd be no point in telling you guys."
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"What's the big deal?"
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"I mean, I think it'd be pretty cool not to be able to die."
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"Pretty cool?"
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"To be shot, decapitated, torn apart, burned, run over..."
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"Kenny, Kenny calm down."
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"It fucking hurts!"
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"And it won't go away and nobody will believe me!"
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"Try and fucking remember!"
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"Oh my God!"
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"Holy shit dude!"
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"Dude! Is he... Oh Jesus!"
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"Kenny."
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"No, no!"
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"It all began when the BP oil company drilled into the ocean floor"
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"the Coon immediately called together his trusty Coon friends."
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"something terrible happened."
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"Their super powers morphed somehow,"
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"But it was too late."
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"Their black hearts had been tainted by hate and rage."
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"The Coon was alone."
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"Torn by the ultimate dilemma."
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"He had to put a stop to the evil villains,"
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"even though they had once been his friends."
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"Sometimes, to fight the ultimate evil,"
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"you must make friends with enemies."
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"evil assholes Kyle and Stan and those guys are."
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"Only one thing can stop them."
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"With Cthulhu's help,"
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"I can try to banish them to a dark oblivion for all eternity."
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"I will not rest until that happens."
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"Say please please don't go away"
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"You say I'm giving you the blues."
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"Maybe, you mean every word you say. Can't help but think..."
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"Eric Cartman!"
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"Where have you been young man?"
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"Just doing stuff, mom."
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"Are my friends downstairs in the secret base?"
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"but you were supposed to be grounded in your room."
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"And now you are more grounded, young man!"
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"The Coon's mother appears to be extremely upset."
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"In order to get past her,"
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"I must use the Lebron James technique."
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"Eric, are you listening to me?"
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"Mom, what should I do?"
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"What?"
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"What should I do?"
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"Should write a song about how I should have stayed in my room?"
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"What should I do?"
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"What do you mean? What should..."
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"Should I say I'm not a role model?"
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"Should I not listen to my conscience."
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"What should I do?"
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"Not jump out the window and fly to New Orleans?"
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"Alright, Coon friends!"
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"What good deed should we do next?"
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"Perhaps we should bake more"
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"lemon bars to raise money for people in need!"
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"Okay!"
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"You guys have no memory"
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"I want to know where my powers come from."
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"Yeah, cool, let's talk about where our powers come from!"
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"I was bitten by a radioactive mosquito! Bzzzzzzztttt!"
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"I was in a car accident"
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"then put back together with tupperware parts!"
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"Ti- Timmy!"
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"Will you guys listen to me?"
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"I actually have a power"
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"that I actually want to know about!"
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"Hey guys."
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"Go away, Cartman."
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"We kicked you out of Coon and friends, remember?"
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"You just wanted to frame and blackmail people,"
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"then you beat up Clyde and Bradley for no reason!"
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"No, you're right. For no reason."
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"Clearly something is wrong with me."
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"But you guys, what should I do?"
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"That's all I wanted to say."
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"A what?"
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"Double rainbow, you guys."
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"Ya don't see 'em often, but there's one outside right now."
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"You gotta come see!"
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"A double rainbow!"
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"Shablagoo!"
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"You might not wanna go..."
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"Hey, can I see the double rainbow fellas?"
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"F..Fellas?"
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"Isn't it beautiful, you guys?"
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"There's no double rainbow, fat ass."
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"You are correct, Human Kike."
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"Not that super villains"
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