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Clips from The Simpsons - Friends and Family (S28E28)

"Hip joints! Who wants a hip joint?"
The Simpsons
"Eyeballs! Can't see without your eyeballs!"
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"Ooh. Can I buy it as a gift?"
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"No!"
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"Mm."
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"Hmm."
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"(GROANS)"
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"Come on in, Monty."
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"I believe last week we were discussing your anger issues."
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"Anger issues? Anger issues?!"
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"Anger issues? Anger issues?!"
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"Sorry. You were saying?"
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"(SIGHS) Monty, I give up."
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"- After only 70 years of therapy? - You're never gonna change."
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"You-you will never have this."
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"A cheap piece of plastic with photos of ugly people?"
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"That is my family... people who love me."
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"I should consider encasing people in plastic."
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"Then I could always see the look of fear in their faces."
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"- (CHUCKLES) - Yeah, we're finished here. Get out."
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"Oi! Why did I lock in at that rate?"
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"(GROANS)"
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"(THUD)"
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"What? (GASPS)"
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"Hmm. No pulse. Oh, wait, that's me."
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"Dead. So sad. He was a true friend."
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"- _ - Mm-hmm. Excellent."
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"(TRUMPET PLAYING TAPS)"
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"Um, we've had a lot of therapists."
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"Which one was he again?"
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"He was the one who helped us communicate."
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"- You never listen to a word I say! - I have to listen all day at work."
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"- You're not listening now. - I'm listened out!"
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"Let's hear what the children have to say."
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"- I'm gonna wet the bed to get their attention. - HOMER: Not listening..."
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"I didn't say I'd wet my bed."
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"- Dr. Nussbaum with our problems? - (ALL ARGUING)"
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"No one listen? Maggie never talk again."
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"- That's not what happened. - That's exactly what happened."
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"I believe I remember what happened, Marge."
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"How could you remember?"
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"You were looking at your phone half the time."
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"When you have four bar Wi-Fi, you use it!"
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"- (GASPS) - RABBI: Uh, if we can begin."
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"Oh, of course."
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"Oh, this man meant a great deal to me."
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"And helping out with the cost of this service was the least I could do."
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"- (CROWD MURMURS) - Very sweet."
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"Smithers?"
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"(CROWD BOOING LOUDLY)"
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"For shame! (GRUNTS)"
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"(TIRES SCREECH)"
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"(SIGHS) Stoned at a funeral."
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"Ooh, wow! Where's the funeral?"
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"(CHUCKLES): Oh! Just what I wanted."
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"Just get me home quickly."
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"("POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE" PLAYING)"
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"Professor John Frink."
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"(HORN HONKS)"
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"the, uh, Higgs Boson Observatory."
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"You'll see there."
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"Oi! Oiven!"
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"I-I didn't mean to hit him, sir."
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"Well, how could a man in his right mind"
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"miss a car heading right towards him?"
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"(TRUCK HORN BLARES)"
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"I think it's this headpiece he's wearing, sir."
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"If I may ask, what makes this device so enchanting"
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"that you ignore the real world?"
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"Is there a milkmaid skipping rope?"
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"Oi! Gloivick!"
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"The Oculus Frink... or Froculus..."
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"provides you with a complete virtual reality experience."
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"(GROANS) Letting you live in a world of your dreams."
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"Goi!"
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"To adjust the focus, turn the dial on the side. Oi."
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"Now for the after-party!"
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"I must have it!"
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"_"
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"This is still a new technology, sir."
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"At the moment, it's really just lots of pornography,"
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"a roller coaster, pornography, pornography,"
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"Burger King ad, pornography,"
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"and... and this one."
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"(DRAGON SQUAWKS)"
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"(ROARING)"
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"Dragon porn."
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"(BOTH MOANING)"
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"Oh, yeah."
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"- Oh, yeah. Oh. - Oh, flame on, baby."
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"Flame on!"
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"Don't tell my wife, okay?"
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"This one is also pornography."
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"Oh, so boring."
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"Trim those nails, Smithers."
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"Uh, sir, if I might suggest,"
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"the last thing your therapist said was,"
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""You need a family.""
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"(CHUCKLES): I don't need anyone."
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"We could program a virtual family for you, sir."
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"A virtual family. Yes."
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"Meanwhile, let me see the one again"
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"where I shoot the beloved lion in Africa."
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"That was reality, sir."
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"Quite the life."
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"(CROW CAWS)"
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"Uh, we only need three children, thanks."
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"Oh, what kind of coal mine you runnin'?"
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"You, wife, look at me lovingly, as if I'm your husband."
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"Luann, pretend it's my birthday."
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"Next."
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"You promised me a job, Dad!"
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"It's Curvy Barbie."
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"And that would mean you have to buy all new clothes."
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"(CROW CAWS)"
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"So far, so good."
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"Two-and-a-half children, wife with current hairstyle."
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"You're all hired."
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"Except you, fatso. We don't need a father."
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"I'll be the rooster in this henhouse."
The Simpsons
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