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Clips from Parks and Recreation (2009) - Jerry's Painting (S03E03)

"Here's my secret. I determine someone's best qualities,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and then, I find someone else with compatible qualities,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and I bring them together."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"God, this sucks."
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"Why don't you just go home for the rest of the day?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I can't go home, because I have this"
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"art show opening at the community center,"
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"and I can't date Ben because of Chris' stupid rules."
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"I feel so..."
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"Powerless. Yeah."
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"I'm like that light bulb."
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"Weak, flickering, barely giving off any light,"
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"You know what might make you feel better?"
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"Paxil. Do you want me to get you a prescription?"
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"Hey, Tom! A question for you."
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"Do you know anyone who's looking for a roommate?"
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"How hot?"
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"I... What?"
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"How hot is the woman that's looking for a place to stay?"
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"No, it's me. I'm looking. Come on. That's not fair."
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"You shouldn't have led me to believe it was a beautiful woman."
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"I didn't."
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"I've been staying at the Pawnee Super Suites Motel for seven months."
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"It's a charming little inn with wonderfully random wake-up calls,"
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"and, as of yesterday, bedbugs."
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""Four stars," says nobody."
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"I wish I could help you, Benihana, but I can't. I have a one-bedroom."
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"I can't have a dude sleeping on my couch"
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"if and when I bring home a lady."
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"I have a ritual, and it starts on the couch."
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"We sit down, clap my hands, lights dim."
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"Boyz II Men. Fades in. Please, stop. No."
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"No, you don't need to explain the ritual. I'm good."
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"You know who might be able to help out"
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"a homeless dude such as yourself?"
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"This is awesomely perfect."
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"Burly just moved in with his rich girlfriend,"
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"and we need help with the rent."
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"We have a couple of house rules, though."
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"Yeah, sure. Of course."
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"You can't use the front door."
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"No personal phone conversations."
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"If you ever speak to me in Spanish, please use the formal "usted"."
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"And no electricity after 6:00 p.m."
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"She's joking. Okay."
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"You can use as much free electricity as you want."
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"If you ever watch a sad movie,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"you have to wear mascara so we can see"
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"whether or not you've been crying."
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"There's no noise allowed on Mondays, and no TV after breakfast."
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"She is."
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"Yes. Because it's hard to tell."
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"which was my idea that I'm trying to patent."
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"So, you want to move in tonight?"
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"You want my gum? Uh-huh."
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"I'm just... I'm not in the mood."
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"I don't have it in me right now."
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"Ron, please. Do it for me. Make the speech. Ron, please. Please."
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"Give the speech, Ron. No."
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"Yes. Please? Ron? Please. No."
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"No. I won't. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes."
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"No way. Please, please, please, please, please."
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"No. Please, please. Yes, yes..."
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"All right! Damn it, woman."
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"Okay, everyone. Shut up and look at me!"
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"This room has several paintings in it."
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"Some are big. Some are small. People did them, and they are here now."
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"I believe that after this is over,"
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"they'll be hung in government buildings."
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"when they can just go outside and stand in it."
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"as genuine interest in art and attempt to discuss it with me further."
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"End of speech."
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"And that's the TV room."
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"Oh, my God."
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"Yeah, it's a mess."
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"Can you throw that in the trash can?"
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"I was just here, like, three weeks ago for your wedding."
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"Well, Burly moved out."
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"He was the one that did all the cleaning and throwing away and stuff."
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"Wait, he moved out, like, a week ago."
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"You guys made this mess in a week?"
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"Well, I always think April's going to clean up."
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"And I never clean up."
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"It's cute, right?"
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"No."
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"Yes, it is."
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"Are you guys frying marbles?"
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"We were checking to see if the fire alarm worked."
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"It doesn't."
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"finding someone who's willing to pay more"
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"than their share of rent without knowing it."
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"I think we found that in Ben."
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"You forgot to paint a painting, son."
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"of my very favorite Greek myths,"
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"It's stunning."
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"It's breathtaking, Jerry."
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"Wow. Thanks, guys."
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"Hey, Leslie, you should really come"
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"over here and look at Jerry's painting."
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"Oh, my God."
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"That's me. Is that me?"
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"Geez, it does look like you."
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"You're just realizing that now?"
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"That's what you see when you close your eyes at night, Jerry."
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"Okay. Leslie, I am just so, so sorry."
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"Dyaphena, she is this powerful goddess,"
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"and I've been thinking a lot about powerful women,"
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"I'm sorry. I'm going to take it right down."
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"No. Leave it up."
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"I don't know how to explain it."
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"Every time I look at it, I just think to myself,"
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""What can't that centaur woman do?"
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""Besides ride an escalator and drive a car.""
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"Oh, my God. The baby is Tom."
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"What?"
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"This is easily my favorite painting ever."
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"What the hell, Jerry? Look at my pot belly. I look like a pregnant baby."
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"And why am I so scared? All right, we've got to take this down. Now."
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"Welcome to the painting."
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"What, is that you?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
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