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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Toast Derivation (S04E04)

"Wise."
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"Here you go, just like recovering alcoholics drink in the Caribbean."
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"Fine. From this angle, I can see up your nose."
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"Yeah, it's a great time to be alive, isn't it?"
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"Don't worry, my problems can wait while you two hens finish your clucking."
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"Look, Sheldon, Leonard is dating Priya. She's staying with Raj."
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"That means you're all probably gonna be hanging out there more."
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"Penny, sorry you got dragged into this."
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"...has found an exciting new lover with flawless caramel-colored skin."
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"Okay, I'm not upset about Leonard and Priya."
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"Your flaring nostrils indicate otherwise."
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"Cluck, cluck, cluck."
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"Sheldon, look at me."
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"I think it's time to face the fact that Leonard is the nucleus of your group."
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"Where he goes, the group goes."
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"Leonard, the nucleus? That makes no sense."
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"I'm the whimsical elf that everyone looks to for a good time."
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"I'm not saying that you're not fun. You're the most fun person I know."
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"A lot of people think I'm fun to be around."
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"Don't be needy, bestie."
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"That's probably part of what chased Leonard away."
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"What I am saying, Sheldon, is that your group is Leonard-centric."
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"If it were a town, it would be Leonardville."
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"If it were an Islamic nation, Leonardstan."
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"If it were the birthplace of motion pictures..."
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"...we'd all be singing "Hooray for Leonardwood.""
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"Oh, I got a one. If you guys were a band..."
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"...you'd be called Leonard and the Leonards."
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"So needy."
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"- What you doing? - I'm setting out snacks."
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"You do realize everyone's eating at Raj's again tonight."
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"I didn't say the snacks were for you, now, did I, Nosy Rosie?"
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"- You're having people over? - Yes."
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"It's Stuart from the comic book store, Barry Kripke from the university..."
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"...Penny's ex-boyfriend, Zack, and TV's LeVar Burton."
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"Really? LeVar Burton's coming here?"
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"Possibly, I tweeted him."
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"Okay, well, tell him I loved him on Star Trek."
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"Please, Leonard, stop trying to horn in on my new friends."
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"Of course, good night."
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"- Leonard. - Yeah?"
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"We had a good run, you and I."
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"Okay."
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"It certainly is."
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"Okay."
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"I have guests coming."
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"- I am leaving. - Don't make this harder than it is."
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"- Goodbye, Sheldon. - And goodbye to you, sir."
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"He'll be back."
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"Well, it would appear LeVar Burton won't be joining us."
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"So, um, let's get started."
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"Uh, I thought we'd begin by going around the room, introducing ourselves..."
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"...and saying a little bit about why we're here."
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"Okay, ahem, uh, I'm Sheldon."
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"Uh, for readers of the New England Journal of High Energy Physics..."
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"If you're not familiar with that, there's a free copy in your goody bag."
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"Stuart?"
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"Um, ahem, hi, I'm Stuart."
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"I run a comic book store..."
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"...which, for financial reasons, I'm currently living in."
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"And I guess what I'm hoping for most out of tonight is a hot shower."
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"That's very nice, Stuart. Zack?"
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"I'm Zack and I'm, uh..."
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"Uh..."
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"Could you come back to me?"
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"Of course. Barry?"
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"I'm Barry Kripke and I'm here because you told me there was a raffle."
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"When is the raffle?"
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"Patience, patience, Barry, the waffle... Ahem."
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"The raffle..."
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"...is the grand finale to an evening-long festival of fun and folly."
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"- One more question... - Yes, you must be present to win."
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"Okay, I'm ready. I'm Zack and I'm, uh..."
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"Oh, crap, why is this so hard?"
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"- Oh, hey. - Hi."
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"- Yo, P-Dawg. - Ha, ha. What's up?"
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"We're here to kidnap you for a girls' night out."
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"Parenthetical, the term "kidnap" is being used playfully."
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"I kind of figured that."
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"Good, now put this pillowcase over your head."
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"No."
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"She used to be much more fun until Leonard punched her in the heart."
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"We thought you might wanna go out, have a good time, maybe go dancing."
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"Oh, gee, thanks, but I'm not really in the mood."
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"You do understand it will distract you..."
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"...from obsessing over the rich variety of sweet loving..."
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"...your ex-boyfriend is receiving from the fiery jewel of Mumbai."
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"Okay, look, if I agree to go out with you guys..."
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"...will you stop pestering me about Leonard and Priya?"
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"- Yes. - Sure."
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"All right, I'll go change. Come on in."
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"Anyway, after snowboarding, I go to the lodge and get in the Jacuzzi."
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"There's no one around, so naturally I'm free-balling it."
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"Next thing I know, this beautiful chick shows up."
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"Drunk out of her skull, wants to get in with me."
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"- Really, that's your question? - What's the difference?"
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"Jacuzzi is a commercial brand, hot tub is the generic term..."
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"Is that like all thumbs are fingers but not all fingers are thumbs?"
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"Surprisingly, yes."
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"Nice."
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"Now, what exactly are toes?"
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"Can you please get back to the drunk girl?"
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"I'd like something to think about in the shower."
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"Oh, yeah, right."
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"She takes off all of her clothes, climbs in the hot tub."
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"- And the first thing I notice... - The water level rose."
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"- No. - Well, of course it did."
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"It's said that Archimedes, the ancient Greek mathematician..."
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"Terrific. Go ahead, Zack. Naked drunk girl, free-balling, continue."
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"Wait, forgive me..."
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"...but I think you'll find my story is more interesting."
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"Does yours have wet breasts in it?"
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"...and charged Archimedes with coming up with the solution."
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"But while bathing, Archimedes realized..."
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"...he could immerse the crown and measure the amount the water rose."
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"So long story short, I nailed her."
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"When he finished, he shouted, "Eureka.""
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"No, I always shout, "Holy moly.""
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"Don't know why, just do."
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"Now who's ready to play some vintage video games?"
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