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Clips from The Cleveland Show - Terry Unmarried (S02E02)

"Junior, imagine her pants on fire."
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"Oh. I can't do anything right."
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"No. You did good on the pitcher."
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"What else are you hiding, Donna? If that's even your name."
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"Cleveland, please."
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"You're acting more paranoid than a roach checking into a roach motel."
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"- You're saying the mini-bar is free? - That's right."
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"- And international calls are? - Complimentary."
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"Mm-hm, mm-hm."
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"I see that your logo says, "Roaches check in, but they don't check out.""
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"Because they love it."
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"Okay."
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"Oh, yeah. I feel you hiding up in there against that cartilage."
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"Rallo, what are you doing?"
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"I have a booger-eating habit."
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"Rallo, would you believe me if I told you I once had a booger-eating habit?"
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"Well, I quit and started working on myself."
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"And since that day, I've lost 85 pounds."
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"The first 60 was booger weight, but still."
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"I can show you, but there's no turning back."
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"I'm gonna take you to dark places that you never knew existed. Are you up for that?"
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"- I think so. - Are you up for that?"
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"Yes, sir."
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"I'm just gonna eat this last one."
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"You in my world now."
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"...and I asked how your day was, and you said it was fine?"
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"Then that night at dinner, I asked you about your day..."
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"Is it a good night?"
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"Or will I find out tomorrow that it wasn't a good night..."
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"...and that you had Roberta throw it out and make you a whole new night?"
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"Oh, would you please get over this stupid coffee thing?"
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"I'm going to sleep on the couch."
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"What else are you hiding from me?"
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"All right, fine. You wanna know what else I'm hiding?"
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"Is that true?"
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"Yes."
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"Uhn. If I knew where my wedding ring was, I'd take it off in disgust."
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"My whole marriage has been a sham."
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"Donna claims she just found out that Robert didn't sign the divorce papers..."
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"...but after Coffee-gate, I don't know what to believe."
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"So Donna's single?"
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"What? No. I'm single."
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"Donna's still married to Robert."
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"Damn it. I mean, for you."
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"Wait a minute. If I'm single, that means I can go out and party."
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"There's this new club called Into The Wild. Heard it's sick."
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"You can get a 20-dollar bottle of vodka brought to your table for like 800 bucks."
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"Boys, tonight we are gonna get out there..."
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"- Yeah. - Yeah, buddy."
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"I'm on a boat."
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"Loaf of bread, container milk, stick of butter."
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"Loaf of bread, container milk, stick of butter."
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"- A secret stash. I knew it. - Ah!"
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"- There's gotta be one here somewhere. - This is your bottom, Rallo. You're quitting."
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"Love gonna set you free, my brother."
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"Love gonna set you free."
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"Junior, give me a moment."
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"I pick you and it picks me up"
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"My crusty, salty wife"
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"How I love your sweet goo"
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"To roll you around and eat you"
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"It's not love"
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"I want to eat your moist parts And your crust"
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"But, baby, baby, baby"
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"Oh, you gotta flick me goodbye"
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"Wait a minute Not so fast"
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"You can't smear me under the table With the past"
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"I hold your life together I'm the paste"
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"Enjoy my moist, forbidden taste"
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"Lift your finger up and dig What your nose hair's wearing as a wig"
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"- And it's not lust - Oh, you know it"
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"I want to eat your moist parts And your crust"
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"- I wanna be inside you - But, baby, baby, baby"
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"- I gotta flick you - Yeah, you gotta flick me"
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"- Yeah, I gotta flick you - Oh, oh"
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"Oh, gross, man."
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"I love this place."
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"Cheap drinks, loud music..."
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"...dance floor packed with nothing but happy, well-groomed guys..."
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"...bowls and bowls of condoms, a pinball machine."
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"Wait a minute."
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"Fat chicks?"
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"This is a gay bar."
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"What? No way. Gay bars are gay?"
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"Now, now. There's nothing wrong with gay people."
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"And there's also nothing wrong with getting the hell out of here."
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"Do you mind if I dance with your date?"
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"Junior's worked too hard for me. Not gonna let him down."
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"Not gonna let myself down. Huh."
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"Aah! Junior, how long have you been in here?"
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"...but they sure lit up when I told them I'm a hardcore tea bagger."
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"Mm. And what a lucky lady she is."
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"Pardon me, fellas. Hot soup coming through."
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"A few hours ago, that would've shocked me."
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"But now, nothing can surprise..."
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"Oh, Terry. Oh, Terry, Terry, Terry."
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"Oh, Terry, Terry, Terry."
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"Terry, are you a homosexual?"
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"I don't know. Been with a lot of hot women."
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"- Yay. - Been with a few hot dudes too."
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"Boo."
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"So, am I gay? Hell, I don't know."
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"He's gay."
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"You know, I don't want to judge Terry..."
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"...but the Bible says that all gay people are going to hell."
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"It also says that animals don't have souls, so I don't know what I'm talking about."
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"I don't know why you're acting so uptight about this, Cleveland."
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"Twenty minutes ago, you were dancing lip-synching to the Pet Shop Boys..."
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"...and having the time of your life. - Maybe I was on Ecstasy."
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"You know what bugs me about this whole thing?"
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"...like Paul Lynde or Adam Lambert, or every conservative politician ever."
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"Would it make you feel better if I told you I was a receptionist at a hair salon?"
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"- Yes, it would. - Well, I'm not."
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"- I'm a building contractor. - Dang."
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"- Yup, we build discos and public baths. - There you go."
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"I'm kidding, Cleveland. We built the new football stadium."
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"Look, Cleveland, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."
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"You and Donna should come over for dinner."
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"We would, but Donna's getting fat, so we're trying to stay away from food."
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"Donna. You're not gonna believe this."
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