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Clips from NewsRadio - Lucky Burger (S05E05)

"I think we ought to wrap this up, Lorna."
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"Dave needs you at the office and I'm sick of these fries."
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"Not now. Ryan, could you get those fries under the lamp?"
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"for a full half-hour on health code violations."
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"What health code violations?"
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"The ones you came here to report about."
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"Yeah, well, those don't exist anymore."
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"W-what happened to 'em? I cleaned them up."
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"You cleaned them up?! Shh. Yes, we did."
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"Me and my team back there. I can assure you that right now"
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"maybe even cleaner. Fries, Ryan."
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"MAX: In Boston, I was Charlie Chowder."
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"And then in San Antonio, I was Johnny Tumbleweed."
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"No, it's just that you mentioned that one already."
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"Yup. That one and many, many, many others."
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"You're still avoiding the big question."
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"What big question?"
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"Who is Max Lewis?"
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"You are Max Lewis."
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"Max Lewis can't just be me."
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"Oh, why not?"
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"Because that's not how radio works, Dave."
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"What are his likes? What are his dislikes?"
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"Does he come to life in the spring?"
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"When did he start losing his hair?"
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"When did he--? Hey!"
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"Lisa, is it possible you've forgotten"
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"why you're here in the first place?"
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"No. It's just that I'm assistant manager now,"
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"and there are more responsibilities"
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"Just tell Dave that Lucky Burger's"
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"the third fastest growing restaurant"
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"Oh, buns are done. Gotta go."
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"Who are Max Lewis' friends? What are his hobbies?"
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"Where is he from? Where do you come from?"
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"All right, Max, tell you what."
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"As long as you're on the air reading the news,"
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"I really don't care where you claim to be from, all right?"
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"Just pick a place. It doesn't matter to me."
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"WNYX news time:"
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"11:35."
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"The West Side highway."
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"She was tres jammed after a truck--"
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"Oh, how you say?"
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"--jackknifed at 66th street."
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"No. No, it's not cool with me."
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"Just read the news like a normal person, all right?"
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"[IN SPANISH ACCENT] In Washington, the Congress,"
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"For Pete's sake. Ruth."
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"within minutes if they're not refrigerated properly."
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"Excuse me, miss. Yes?"
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"Ron Jarek, New York Health Department."
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"You weren't planning to serve these condiments?"
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"It's a standard form."
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"I told you I was just about to put them away."
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"If you leave the mayonnaise out, you've gotta pay the fine."
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"I need you to show me the freezer"
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"and the waste disposal area."
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"Okay. Ron, if we're talking about a fine, that's fair."
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"But I don't think either of us needs to go through the hassle"
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"of all that paperwork? Hm?"
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"May I finish? No."
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"Yes. That's what I want, all right?"
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"Well, you're doing it right now. No, I'm not."
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"to help me deal with you."
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"Be yourself or you're fired."
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"I can't. Yes, you can."
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"No, I can't! You can."
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"No, I can't. Don't you get it?"
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"Well, why not? Because I'm--"
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"I'm...weird."
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"It's okay, Max."
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"You know, I work very hard to conceal"
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"And now you just want me to unleash it on everyone."
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"I put peanut butter on practically everything."
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"Even steak."
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"And I'm wearing it right now."
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"Welcome to WNYX. May I take your order?"
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"That's very funny. Are you on a break?"
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"Yeah, a permanent break. She got fired."
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"Fired from Lucky Burger."
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"I'm sorry. What'd you do?"
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"I got arrested."
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"God. For what?"
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"Louder."
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"I tried to bribe the health inspector, all right?"
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"Yes, I got a little bit carried away, but I swear to God"
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"if I just had five more minutes, I'd have been home free."
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"covered with aluminum foil."
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"Max. I'll tell you what, Max."
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"Come on, come on."
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"Now, Max."
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"for your co-workers, right?"
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"All right, now, I want you to look around."
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"Over here we have, uh, Beth,"
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"eating food that he knows for a fact to be spoiled."
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"Albeit, half of that is Monopoly money."
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"Everybody here is weird."
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"It's like you and your hair."
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"So I can really just be myself?"
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"Freely express my opinions?"
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"I can even use my own voice?"
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"Max, I would like nothing better."
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"[SIGHS]"
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"You know, that-- You know--"
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"No-- Ew."
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"Clear and sunny, with temperatures"
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"Don't ask, don't tell."
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"I just wasn't aware"
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""Dear newly-hired on-air talker-person,"
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"[♪]"
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"Well, that we may never know, David."
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"Yeah. Your people?"
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"Oh, that's a great comfort, Joe."
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"No. Why not?"
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"of ambition in my nakedness,"
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"Just act natural, sir. Get yourself some ketchup."
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"Perfectly natural."
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"Psst!"
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"Dave, what did you do to Max? Nothing."
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