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Clips from NewsRadio - Lucky Burger (S05E05)

"Hey, Dave? Mm-hm."
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"No, Matthew doesn't hate you. He's just confused."
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"I assume he meant fired, but I wasn't sure."
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"This is on-air talker-person Matthew Brock"
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"with a special shout out to my cats,"
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"Chew-Chew and Mitt-Mitt. Hi."
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"WNYX news time--"
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"Uh... D-do--? Do you have--? Do you have a watch?"
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"[MOUTHING WORDS]"
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"Whatever the hell it is you wanna do. What is it?"
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"An undercover exposé. Which could win us an award."
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"Or boost ratings. Thus giving you a raise."
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"Me too. I didn't say that."
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"It's too dangerous."
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"and it's part of my job. Yeah, don't worry."
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"If need be, I'll pull her out,"
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"get her to a safe house for debriefing."
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"Mr. James, why are you so gung ho about this?"
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"Because investigative reporting"
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"is the life's blood of American journalism."
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"Besides, I lost my golf date this afternoon,"
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"so I'm kind of bored."
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"All right. Look, uh... Okay."
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"Thank you. All right? All right."
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"Sir, couldn't you have just gone to a putting green or something?"
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"Dave, I didn't get a V-8 in my golf cart"
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"for no damn puttin' green."
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"Well, it seems your precious little Max Lewis"
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"is not the man that we thought he was."
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"But I had my people check up on his résumé"
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"have no record of a Max Lewis ever working there."
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"Y-y-your people checked up on this, did they?"
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"My-- My crack team of researchers, Dave."
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"Yeah. They're not exactly cheap."
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"Dude, this is Monopoly money. Oh."
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"Joe, don't you have better things to do with your time?"
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"Yeah, but he's paying me. This is still Monopoly money."
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"at any of the radio stations on his résumé."
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"Uh-huh, your sources, I assume that means..."
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"other electricians working at those stations?"
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"We're everywhere, Dave."
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"But don't worry, we like you."
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"So you want me to get Max, so you can fire him?"
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"Well, because I think this is a ridiculous witch hunt,"
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"Well, if you think there's one iota"
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"Welcome to Lucky Burger. May I take your order?"
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"Would you like to try one of our Lucky Meal specials?"
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"It's half price with a purchase of a large soft drink."
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"Yes, Lorna. That would be good, thank you."
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"Shh! Excuse me, sir."
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"That's good thinking, Lorna. You go right ahead."
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"Yeah? Open garbage containers,"
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"if you found spoiled meat at, like,"
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"a restaurant that John-John Kennedy might eat at?"
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"Take them to Dave."
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"Sir?"
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"Can't touch you there."
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"Hey, you wanted to see me?"
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"Yeah, it's about your résumé."
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"Max!"
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"Looks like we flushed out another rat, didn't we?"
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"J-just go after him"
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"before he runs into traffic and hurts himself."
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"How much? A dollar."
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"Do you have a dollar?"
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"I think Max does. Oh, good."
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"No, I talked to the guards in the lobby,"
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"they said he hasn't passed,"
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"so he's still in the building. That is so odd."
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"No, Dave, it isn't odd, it is reality."
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"Well, I think I figured out what Max Lewis' secret is."
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"Oh, let me guess. He's an alien? No."
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"Time traveler? No."
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"CIA operative? No."
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"Robot man?"
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"You know, half-man, half-- Half-robot."
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"I know what a robot man is."
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"You're overlooking the obvious. Evil magician?"
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"Serial bigamist."
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"Oh, yes. That-- That is obvious, now that you mention it."
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"I wasn't."
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"I'm so tired of you."
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"What about Hutch?"
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"Lisa Miller, 10/18/98, 3:45."
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"Location: Lucky Burger locker room."
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"I'm right now looking at a case of beef patties"
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"that's been left out since 9 this morning."
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"Lori? Lorna. Lorna, sir."
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"Oh, I saw a mess, and I thought I'd clean it up."
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"Aren't you supposed to be on break?"
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"and clean up this mess?"
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"Yeah. I know that sounds a little bit strange, but, uh..."
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"Confirms my suspicions."
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"Really?"
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"I know, we've been watching you for quite a while,"
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"and frankly, we like what we see."
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"you've shown us the kind of worker you are."
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"And that is a Grade A worker."
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"No what?"
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"Max left it on his desk. Ah."
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"I think it's supposed to be you, Dave."
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"And what am I supposed to be riding there, anyway?"
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"Uh-huh. And that is insulting because...?"
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"A mere mortal riding a horse of the gods?"
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"Come on, you can't get more ridiculous than that."
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"Uh-huh."
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"Get out of here."
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"DAVE: Max, it's about your résumé."
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"Uh..."
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"that of the 37 stations you listed on your résumé,"
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"Oh. Well, of course not."
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"That's just a name I made up for you guys."
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""Max Lewis.""
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"See, I use a different one in every city I work in."
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"But in Dayton, it was classical."
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"Hence, the name Alastair McCello."
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"In New Orleans, I was The Jazzmanian Devil. You see?"
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"Wait a minute, you were Dr. Dan? Dr. Dan the Bull-Sesh Man?"
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"Indeed, I was."
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"Thought the only people that listened to that show"
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