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Clips from NewsRadio - Lucky Burger (S05E05)

9:45.

"9:45."

NewsRadio

He's good.

"He's good."

NewsRadio

I know why he was fired so many times.

"I know why he was fired so many times."

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Really? Why? Because I hate him.

"Really? Why? Because I hate him."

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whatever that's called. I don't know.

"whatever that's called. I don't know."

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Look, I sit over there at the-- You know, at the desk,

"Look, I sit over there at the-- You know, at the desk,"

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doing, ahem, work-related stuff.

"doing, ahem, work-related stuff."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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Lisa, you've never done undercover work before.

"Lisa, you've never done undercover work before."

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This place could use a little bit of danger.

"This place could use a little bit of danger."

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Fine, I'll get Matthew to replace

"Fine, I'll get Matthew to replace"

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Yes, I am aware that it involves risks, but I am a reporter

"Yes, I am aware that it involves risks, but I am a reporter"

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I'll get Max to cover, but promise to be careful.

"I'll get Max to cover, but promise to be careful."

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I mean, I don't think so.

"I mean, I don't think so."

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Actually, can I use your phone real quick? No.

"Actually, can I use your phone real quick? No."

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You know what? Never mind. That's not the sad news.

"You know what? Never mind. That's not the sad news."

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Uh-huh, then what is the sad news?

"Uh-huh, then what is the sad news?"

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and it seems that the stations he claims to have worked at

"and it seems that the stations he claims to have worked at"

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Besides, what the freak said is true.

"Besides, what the freak said is true."

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motivated by your own naked ambition.

"motivated by your own naked ambition."

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Yeah. Hey, Lisa. Lorna.

"Yeah. Hey, Lisa. Lorna."

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I thought you were going undercover at--

"I thought you were going undercover at--"

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I thought I'd wipe it down.

"I thought I'd wipe it down."

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unwashed cutting boards, spoiled meat.

"unwashed cutting boards, spoiled meat."

NewsRadio

Yeah, I know. But wouldn't it be a more newsworthy story

"Yeah, I know. But wouldn't it be a more newsworthy story"

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containing two micro-cassettes.

"containing two micro-cassettes."

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Max? Max?!

"Max? Max?!"

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You're supposed to chase him. Hot pursuit costs extra.

"You're supposed to chase him. Hot pursuit costs extra."

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And you better buckle your seat belt because reality sucks.

"And you better buckle your seat belt because reality sucks."

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Have you ever been bitch-slapped?

"Have you ever been bitch-slapped?"

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Dude, 37 different jobs...

"Dude, 37 different jobs..."

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37 different wives.

"37 different wives."

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I found him, Dave.

"I found him, Dave."

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Oh, good. I didn't know you were looking for him.

"Oh, good. I didn't know you were looking for him."

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Baretta-style breakdown's gonna cost you 15 bucks, bro.

"Baretta-style breakdown's gonna cost you 15 bucks, bro."

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Starsky interrogation.

"Starsky interrogation."

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I'll give you both for 7.50.

"I'll give you both for 7.50."

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Too rich for my blood.

"Too rich for my blood."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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And right now, sits in a pool of its own bloody water.

"And right now, sits in a pool of its own bloody water."

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Lorna, right. What are you, uh, doing back here?

"Lorna, right. What are you, uh, doing back here?"

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Yes, uh, that's right.

"Yes, uh, that's right."

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Excuse me? Yes.

"Excuse me? Yes."

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In the short time you've been here,

"In the short time you've been here,"

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Assistant manager?

"Assistant manager?"

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Congratulations. Thank you.

"Congratulations. Thank you."

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No.

"No."

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No to whatever you were gonna say.

"No to whatever you were gonna say."

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Okay. But before I leave, I thought you should see this.

"Okay. But before I leave, I thought you should see this."

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Matthew, this is drawn on the back of your time sheet,

"Matthew, this is drawn on the back of your time sheet,"

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with the same pen that you used to fill out your time sheet.

"with the same pen that you used to fill out your time sheet."

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Pegasus, the winged horse of ancient myth.

"Pegasus, the winged horse of ancient myth."

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I lied on my résumé. So I gathered.

"I lied on my résumé. So I gathered."

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Uh, M-Max, how do you explain the fact

"Uh, M-Max, how do you explain the fact"

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It's just my current nom de radio.

"It's just my current nom de radio."

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[BOTH LAUGH]

"[BOTH LAUGH]"

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Because it's show business, Dave.

"Because it's show business, Dave."

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so I used the name Knute Rockly.

"so I used the name Knute Rockly."

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Or in Madison, I was Dr. Dan. In Seattle, I was--

"Or in Madison, I was Dr. Dan. In Seattle, I was--"

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I used to listen to your show.

"I used to listen to your show."

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were confused adolescents

"were confused adolescents"

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with serious questions about their sexuality.

"with serious questions about their sexuality."

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Dave listened to the tapes. He said you got more than enough

"Dave listened to the tapes. He said you got more than enough"

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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The High Desert DJ.

"The High Desert DJ."

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Hey, you listened to me in San Antone?

"Hey, you listened to me in San Antone?"

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No, no, no, no.

"No, no, no, no."

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What's his persona? His hook?

"What's his persona? His hook?"

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that come with that position.

"that come with that position."

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You just need to be a guy who reads the news.

"You just need to be a guy who reads the news."

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I'd rather not say. Fine.

"I'd rather not say. Fine."

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This is Max Lewis.

"This is Max Lewis."

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More in 30 seconds.

"More in 30 seconds."

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[NORMAL VOICE] You said it didn't matter where Max Lewis was from, right?

"[NORMAL VOICE] You said it didn't matter where Max Lewis was from, right?"

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So it's cool with you if he's from Paris.

"So it's cool with you if he's from Paris."

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Okay. All right?

"Okay. All right?"

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she debated a mucho grande subsidy

"she debated a mucho grande subsidy"

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No. No, of course not.

"No. No, of course not."

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We care just as much about the health

"We care just as much about the health"

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Yes, I'm sure you do.

"Yes, I'm sure you do."

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W-what are you writing? What is that?

"W-what are you writing? What is that?"

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Are you writing this up?

"Are you writing this up?"

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Oh, come on.

"Oh, come on."

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A fine? That's right.

"A fine? That's right."

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What if Max Lewis was from Hawaii? No.

"What if Max Lewis was from Hawaii? No."

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Just be yourself. Nothing more, nothing less, all right?

"Just be yourself. Nothing more, nothing less, all right?"

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I can't just be myself.

"I can't just be myself."

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No one wants to know the real me.

"No one wants to know the real me."

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And rubber bands.

"And rubber bands."

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I still have the sweater that my mother knitted me

"I still have the sweater that my mother knitted me"

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Oh, my God.

"Oh, my God."

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[LAUGHING]

"[LAUGHING]"

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Furthermore, I have all my windows

"Furthermore, I have all my windows"

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But it doesn't work.

"But it doesn't work."

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Come with me, all right? Come on.

"Come with me, all right? Come on."

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I-I-I think that your fear stems from the fact

"I-I-I think that your fear stems from the fact"

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Yes.

"Yes."

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Who, uh, today very nearly gave up a career in journalism

"Who, uh, today very nearly gave up a career in journalism"

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for a life in the fast-food industry.

"for a life in the fast-food industry."

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who, uh, who dresses like a barmaid from Bladerunner.

"who, uh, who dresses like a barmaid from Bladerunner."

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Joe, who's earned upwards of $11

"Joe, who's earned upwards of $11"

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into his own hands.

"into his own hands."

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Exactly.

"Exactly."

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Yes. Good example, Max.

"Yes. Good example, Max."

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Indulge in my likes and dislikes?

"Indulge in my likes and dislikes?"

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[DIFFERENT VOICE] Dave, I can't thank you enough.

"[DIFFERENT VOICE] Dave, I can't thank you enough."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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dipping into the low 50s by evening.

"dipping into the low 50s by evening."

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It makes you wonder why he was fired

"It makes you wonder why he was fired"

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from 37 different stations.

"from 37 different stations."

NewsRadio

So you're saying he was a gay Marine?

"So you're saying he was a gay Marine?"

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No one expects you to love him as much as you loved Bill,

"No one expects you to love him as much as you loved Bill,"

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but I had to hire someone.

"but I had to hire someone."

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that you were gonna give him the job that's rightfully mine.

"that you were gonna give him the job that's rightfully mine."

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What job is that?

"What job is that?"

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On-air news-talker person.

"On-air news-talker person."

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Why can't you just give him another job? Like my job.

"Why can't you just give him another job? Like my job."

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He could take over my job.

"He could take over my job."

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What is your job?

"What is your job?"

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It's very complicated what I do, okay? Oh, hi, you.

"It's very complicated what I do, okay? Oh, hi, you."

NewsRadio

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