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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy Bites an Onion! (S03E03)

"No, thanks."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You can stop now. He wants you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Too little, too late."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Okay, you took a hit."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You already got the picture on the box, bitch."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You just need a comeback."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"If Steve Harvey had given up, do you think"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"he'd be the host of Little Stinkers or whatever?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And Mikey will be putty in your hands."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Sticky and with a backwards Garfield on him?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You got a show to do."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Final scenario."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"A truck is coming right at you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"If it goes to the left, it runs over a businessman."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Which way do you send the truck to go?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm gonna take a half a point off."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I just said truck."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Utilitarianism."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kill one to save many."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"For now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah, but that's just in a book."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That businessman could be somebody's mom."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Taye Diggs is gonna love this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"May I?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Flag on the play."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You aren't currently married"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"to a registered sex offender in Indiana, are you?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, yes, technically, but only to help Wendy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Sorry."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That was for the troops."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Gordy! Gordi! Gordee! Feat. Titus!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"at my gym's Cowabunga Plyometrics class."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mikey Michael Politano, stop it!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I can't watch you do that"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But as our wise president once said,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So here goes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"All of this is for you, Mikey."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Why do you think I'm up here singing this stupid song"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"about women's chunky Charlies with a crazy man"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"who thinks Hurricane Katrina was a David Copperfield illusion?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's all just to impress you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"My boyfriend is not an international basketball man."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He's fake news."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And I don't love boobs and California."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I cannot hear you, Michael!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You don't have a microphone like I do."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Don't say anything."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But know this, meatball."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I will win you back."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"because I have Wendy Williams tickets."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But as Gordy is my witness,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He doesn't even care about boobs!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Get him! - Yeah!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You don't tell me how to use you either!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"A Vidalia onion is not an apple."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"you could eat it like an apple."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Vidalia onions."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Like Willy Wonka's Gobstoppers."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So we got on her ATV, went to Kroger's,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And you know what they tasted like?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Fudging onions."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The world is a Vidalia onion."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's a lie, it stinks,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Sooner or later, you got to just stop biting onions."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You never give up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You're like that bunny that keeps on going and going"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"'cause Meth-Head Charlie fed him Adderall."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I was kind of counting on you to--"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"to see a double rainbow"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"or make friends with a carriage horse,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"like O.J. in that Hertz commercial."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"All I wanted was to help people,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"This isn't how it's supposed to go for either of us."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I got to go back and fix this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And I don't even know if it worked, but I feel better."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I just think, in some ways, this was the culmination of a personal journey."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You think this whole thing was about you?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, you're in my story, pal."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I got you paid, I used my connections"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Tie-tie gets the screamies when he's nervous."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And I loved it!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"perfect career number 89 is supposed to be for me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So Jacqueline White is going to be an agent."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yes!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He's in there with Kimmy Schmidt."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, I need to find her."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"She helped me, and I need her help again."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah, that was my plan all along."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm here to do your thing."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-I have a car. -Oh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, let's see how fast you can run to it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Get in!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I need your help."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Only you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but don't you just want to bite him?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm so confused, Lillian."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's my girl."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Come!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Does it appear for one day every hundred years?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Don't disappear, magical office."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"This is my company."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but after I developed the soups and wet foods algorithm"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's why I quit Columbia."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Do you want to work here?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But I just effed out of college."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Don't you want to hire a robot or something?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You noticed me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You remembered my name."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You made me feel calm when my brain was hot."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Fifteen employees start tomorrow,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and I don't want to talk to them."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I need someone with your emotional intelligence."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I thought the dean was making it up so I'd feel better,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"like when your mom says everything"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"must have fallen out of Santa's sleigh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So what do you say?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"in!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hello, coworker. I'm Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Bark-eting manager."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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