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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy Bites an Onion! (S03E03)

"That's the last place I saw them, so that's where they must be."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm-- I'm waiting for her."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You need her help."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Not to hammer a dean."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You got cab fare?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ah!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Come on!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Crazy drunk driver."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kimmy!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What is this place?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"for Nom Nom, some major funding came through."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Do you like it?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You want to give me a job?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's a real thing?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Zach, I'm..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Careful! My name is library!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm glad you brought up your classwork."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I wanted to update you on your academic probation."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hold up. I'm on the baysh?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Do I have to repeat a grade?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Dina Camillo did that in third grade, and she was cool."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"When she got her period,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"there is a woman in this class!""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"If you fail the semester, you will have to leave Columbia."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And don't tell Coach Tannen to come in here to push me around,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wait. I've got a big chemistry lab tomorrow."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"To pass the semester, what do I have to get?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Out of what?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Same construction hat four days in a row."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Obviously in a funk."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's moi!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"If you get stuck, try "Tallahassee.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Most test answers are Tallahassee."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Thanks, Ms. White."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"How does this sound?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"NetJets Air Mistress, 2000 to 2005."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And then there's a 12-year gap."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I mean, you could say being a mom is a job, but not the way I do it!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You're finally gonna stand on your own two feet."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Why does he stay with her? He could have anyone!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I just don't know what job a 30-14-year-old"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"former trophy wife with no skills is even qualified to do."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I have a bunch of career aptitude tests"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"from when I was touring colleges."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"All the jobs are on here, from architect to Zodiac Killer."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I mean, you're basically a talking traffic cone."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"All week,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"zero motorcycle accidents."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Artie is on the waiting list for a new heart."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So I got out the old police scanner."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I get there before the cops"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-Isn't he rich? -Oh, very."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"All day long, he biddy-biddy-bums."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, rich people don't wait for organs."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"They just give a generous donation to the hospital and cut the line."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"There's a whole chapter about it in Art of the Deal."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, Artie would never do that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"On the other hand, you take a heart off the market,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"then when Giuliani needs one,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Something insane happened while I was accidentally"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"at the construction site for three hours."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"to jump back into his life."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's called "double-Dutching," and everyone loves it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But then I heard someone playing my TaskRabbit song."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yet another example"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"of white people stealing from black people."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And I'm still not over"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"what Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone did to jazz."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I gotta go talk to Artie!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, I can't just sit here"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and take this terrifying career test"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"when my best friend"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"is being taken advantage of!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's time, once again, for Jacqueline White"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Thank you. I am wittle."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Holy secret identity, Bat-President!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You owe Titus half of everything you made on "Boobs and California.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What? I haven't made anything."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Do not insult my ingellitence!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Her phone is a contuter!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That song is 49th"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"on Spotify's Adult Bro-temporary charts."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"A SodaStream?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"A Sex Yuko still in the box?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But I don't have to give a penny of it to Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The TaskRabbit contract was written"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"by the same lawyers who did Mrs. Claus' prenup."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Why do you think Santa stays with her?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Is the name of my band."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So you have an Internet radio hit."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"How are you gonna keep it going if you can't perform it live?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Did you know the seventh hour of that show is just a sign-up sheet?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"that's just called Dave?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"All right. He gets half."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-No. -Okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Okay, this kind of stuff happens to Beaker all the time,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You're Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Husky children."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I just dropped out of school."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What? You failed out?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wow, I thought you were smart."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"'Cause you're not athletic. I've seen you try to put your backpack on."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, not failed. I've only ever failed three tests:"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"scoliosis, Turing, and lice."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I think they're gonna make me leave."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And I hate not being in control of my life."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"My bedtime's when I say so."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I put my mittens on before my jacket."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Then how do you zip or button it?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's the price of freedom, Zach!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm just saying, you're in charge of your life."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Paw Patrol to the rescue!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's a cartoon I quote to soothe myself."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kimmy?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"you did not get an A."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Professor Dooley is pretty shaken up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And unfortunately, you're going to have to leave Columbia--"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm dropping out of Columbia, my choice."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm terribly sorry, but I said my thing first."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kimmy, we're aware that you've been through a lot."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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