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Clips from Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The Replacement (S05E05)

"- Xander. - It's all right, Buffy. I have him."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"No, Buffy. I'm me. Help me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He's got my gun."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- You own a gun? - Xander... Gun-holding Xander."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Give it to me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- I am. - No, I am."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Thank you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Wild. - Yeah."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You've been split in two. But you're both Xander."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- We can prove you're both Xander. - Yeah. How?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- There has to be a way. - What number am I thinking of?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Wrong. But see?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"No. We're not the same. We're all different."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Different properties? - What different properties?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You know. Sense of direction, good night vision, stuff like that."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"A shiny disc that stuns and disorients."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- What disc? - Cover your eyes."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Look."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It's a nickel someone flattened on the railroad track."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It is kinda cool."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I just made a small cleaning deposit."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I was thinkin' the same thing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Look..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Look, there's a scar there, and there's the same one right there."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And it's all double. This zit, and this..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"kinda funny dippy thing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And this weird little hair that grows in the wrong way."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Psychologically, this is fascinating."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Doesn't it make everyone wanna lock them in separate rooms and experiment on them?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Just me, then."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"So, you Xanders really do have all the same memories? All the same..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"We're completely identical."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Yeah, we checked out some stuff in the car on the way over."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Fingerprints."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"See, I can take the boys home and we can all have sex together and then..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"you know, just slap 'em back together in the morning."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- She's joking. - No, she's not."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Check. Candles and pretence."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- how'd you get the promotion? - Well, I'm good at that stuff."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- And how about that apartment manager? - How weird was it when she called me "Mr"?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"We're ready. We should do it now."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- What'll we do if it doesn't work? - Kill us both, Spock."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"They're kinda the same now."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Toth's spell is doing all the work of keeping you apart. I just have to break it."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Side by side. We don't want you to end up with two fronts, now, do we?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Are you sure you know how to do this?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You gotta be kidding. "Let the spell be ended"? That's not gonna work."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I liked it the other way. Put 'em back."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Getting nostalgic?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Then you're like: that's where Spike slept,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I really hate this place."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Presents?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Me? Buffy has superstrength. Why don't we load her up like one of those little horses?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Anya. Please."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You two have your friction, but she digs the whole package. It's obvious."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Not that I'm still into Buffy. Not that I ever was."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Half of me is just on fire, going crazy if I'm not touching her."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"The other half is so still and peaceful."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Just perfectly content."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Just knows this is the one."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"But she doesn't love me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- You can help me pack this. - Sure."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Sure."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I could take a break from the violence for some... fighting."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- But you have references. - No, I have Albert,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You are not the Slayer."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I have an idea."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- I'm fine. - Easy."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He disappeared."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Now, we have another job lined up in Carlton when we finish here."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"please, call me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm leaving my home number here."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Remember, any time."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Anya, you there?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Am not."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Please, Buffy, resist his spell."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"OK. On my seventh birthday,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"designed to do evil."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"This demon is taking my life and everyone's treating him..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"When I get to the Pearly Gates, they won't go:"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"and you didn't think about Anya till just now?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Anya? An?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It's all for you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What do you mean? I just got your phone message, that's all."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You haven't been hurt like this since you became human."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I promise you, Anya. Very soon you won't be thinking about getting older."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He knew stuff. He did the Snoopy dance."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It splits one person into half, distilling personality traits into two separate bodies."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"There's nothing in them that Xander didn't already possess."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- I don't know. - Please, look at him. Listen to him."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"But he has a thing in his pocket."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"No, I..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Isn't anyone gonna tell me why there are two Xanders?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Actually, it's not that hard. Your natural state is to be together."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"and there, that's where Anya and I drowned the Sepavro demon."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Excepting disease or airbag-failure."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"That sounds nice."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Fine. I'm just your slave."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Still, I do envy you sometimes. I mean, for the sanity."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm well aware of how lucky I am. Lottery lucky."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What are you doing? I have a dislocated shoulder."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Was it sort of sandalwoody?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"There's a nice lady vampire who set up a charming tearoom over the next pile of crap."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Who is... me?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Harris! - Harris. Sorry. Yeah."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm sure you'll like the building."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I figure you're pretending you're not home but listening anyway."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"She sees it's not me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And if you did, you can tell me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Meet me at the apartment. You know the one. Nine o'clock."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Riley, do you wish...? - No."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You have different properties, but you're both Xander."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I found it on the construction site. I thought it was cool. It's not magic."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Washington's still there, but he's all smushy. And he may be Jefferson."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Rabbit's foot - no, wait."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Xander, stop dancing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Some "thing" has stolen my face,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Sword."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"OK. Back off, ladies."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Anya? An?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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