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Clips from Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The Replacement (S05E05)

"or just buy yourself a Klingon costume and go with it."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Well, I hope you'll be happy here, Mr Harris."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- We're certainly happy to have you. - Thank you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Call me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Even for, you know, nonbusiness stuff."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Maybe we could do something?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Please, lady. That is so not me. He's too clean, for one thing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Look, I know you're still mad."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I have something to show you. Meet me at the apartment."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You know the one. Nine o'clock."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Man, I need Buffy."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Don't worry, Xander. Whatever stole your face, it has to deal with the Slayer now."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"OK."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Let's see. Stuff only you and me know."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I wanted a toy fire truck and I didn't get it, and you were real nice about it."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Then next door burnt down and real fire trucks came. I thought you set the fire for me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Last year, I thought I was lactose-intolerant, but it was just some bad Brie."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Every Christmas we watch Charlie Brown together and I do the Snoopy dance."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- You called me Xander. - Xander, shut up."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What's goin' on?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Xander, the basement isn't a dump. It's more like a really nice hovel."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I got hit last night, fell down... Woke up this morning."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You walked?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Will, did I do anything weird?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Did I wave any shiny things around?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Shiny things? What are you talking about?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Last night, that wasn't me. There's a double out there."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"and it's going around pretending to be me and it's hypnotising people."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It even got to Buffy, Giles and Riley. It's over there right now and they have no idea."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What intrigues me is there are many demons with the ability to mimic a simple form,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Toth."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"The demon with the creepy stick thing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He hit Xander with that blast and it allowed him to take Xander's form."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- It could be what the creepy stick thing did. - Yes, I suppose."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Yes. Or it's Toth."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I was gonna look for Toth anyway. Guess now I start looking for you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Should I go with you? I told Anya to meet me at my new place."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Go be with her. If you were out there looking for the double too..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"A demon has taken my life from me and he's living it better than I do."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'll find a spell to snap her out of it."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Right. Whatever."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You have to help me figure this out, you know."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"That's not true. Sometimes we all help to save you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And sometimes you're not in trouble."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm just another great humiliation."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Everyone's treating him like a grown-up."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Will, I'm starting to feel like..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"he's doing everything better."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Take my life, please. - Xander, no."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You're just tired, and all soggy."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"That's why it seems so hard. But you can't let him just take your whole existence."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Why not? It's not like I was doing anything so great with it."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"She won't know. He can just..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"No way. He can take anything, but he can't have her. I need her."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Really? - He could be with her right now."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Figure out a spell. Something reveal-y. I gotta find her."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Xander, you already knew he was taking over your life"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Wait till you have an evil twin. See how you handle it."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It's gotta be here. Where is it?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You're lying. It's a trick."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"No. Trust me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"The ceiling fans? They're very attractive."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Anya, you didn't see me today, did you?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I mean, we didn't talk?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"So,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Well, at some point we take off our clothes."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I mean, what happens next in our lives?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- A car? - And a boat."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- There's no hurry. - Yes, there is. There's a hurry, Xander."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I may have as few as 50 years left."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"50 years? What is this?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What about the sling?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Maybe it's finally hitting you what being human means."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"No, that's not it."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And now you're gonna age and die."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- That must be terrifying. - You don't understand what it's like."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Being suddenly human? I think I can get what that would be like."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And we can get through it together."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You can't make it any different. I'm going to get old."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And you can't promise you'll be with me when I'm wrinkly"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"and my teeth are artificial and stuck into my wrinkly mouth with an adhesive."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"But it doesn't sound terrible. And that's saying something."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Get away from her. - Xander."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Xander?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It's a demon. He stole my face. He's trying to trick you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"So we split up?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I swear I know I had that locked."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- He came to us, too. - No. We each had a Xander."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I mean, you didn't have a Xander. You had a demon in a Xander suit."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What makes you so sure that yours is the right one?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Buffy, it was Xander and he needs us. - Oh, dear Lord."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Buffy, our Xander, did he seem a little..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He seemed kind of forceful and confident."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- That's not Xander. - I said "Oh, dear Lord"."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- You always say that. - Well, it's always important."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Neither Xander is a demon."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Is one of them a robot? - What? No."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"The rod device, it's called a ferula-gemina."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"As near as I can tell, Toth was attempting to split the Slayer into two different entities."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Two Buffys? - Yes."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"One with all the qualities in Buffy Summers, the other one with those in the Slayer alone."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"When it hit Xander, I think it separated him into his strongest points and his weakest."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- But which one's the real one? - They're both Xander. Neither of them is evil."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"But the two halves can't exist without each other."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Kill the weaker Buffy half, and the slayer half dies."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"So the same goes for the Xanders. We lose one, we lose them both."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Or possibly a robot."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Look at me. Look in my eyes. Can't you see it's me?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He's all smooth."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Don't worry, Anya. I'll get rid of this thing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm thinkin' less."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Can't this thing go any faster? "Ultimate driving machine", my ass."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"We're pushing 70."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I have Buffy Buffy. Being the Slayer is part of who you are."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You keep thinking I don't get that, but..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It's just I know how un-fun it can be."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"The bad hours, frequent bruising, cranky monsters."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Buffy, if you led a perfectly normal life, you wouldn't be half as crazy as you are."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"the whole bad ice-skating movie obsession, everything."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"There's no part of you I'm not in love with."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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