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Clips from Family Guy - Barely Legal (S05E05)

"Well, Brian, here we go. This is going to be so much fun."
Family Guy
"God, this is going to be a long night."
Family Guy
"Brian, let's dance. This song kicks ass."
Family Guy
"Man, I gotta tell you, I can see why you'd be insecure, Meg."
Family Guy
"Some of these chicks are unbelievable."
Family Guy
"Brian, can I ask you something?"
Family Guy
"Are you drinking so much because you don't want to be here?"
Family Guy
"No, no, Meg. It's... That's... My God, look at these chicks."
Family Guy
"You know the best thing about these girls is,"
Family Guy
"even if you're terrible, they don't know the difference."
Family Guy
"You know, Meg, there's no dogs allowed here,"
Family Guy
"You know, Connie, I think I have a theory about why you're such a bitch."
Family Guy
"- Excuse me? - Brian, let's just go."
Family Guy
"No, no, no, no, no. Now, hang on. Hang on, Meg, hang on."
Family Guy
"You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early"
Family Guy
"and started giving hand jobs when you were 12."
Family Guy
"because all you see is a whore."
Family Guy
"So, you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization"
Family Guy
"that once your body's used up by age 19,"
Family Guy
"you're gonna be a worn-out, chalky-skinned burlap sack"
Family Guy
"that even your stepdad won't want. How's that? Am I in the ballpark?"
Family Guy
"Brian, that was amazing. No one's ever stood up for me like that."
Family Guy
"Hey, no problem. She's a... She's a skank. You know, you don't... You don't deserve..."
Family Guy
"You don't deserve all the crap you get, Meg, you know that?"
Family Guy
"Thanks, Brian."
Family Guy
"Sorry, that was the booze, not you. You gonna eat that?"
Family Guy
"Yes, the day can begin. Good morning, Brian."
Family Guy
"Now, we can do this one of two ways. I can bust your balls to pieces right now"
Family Guy
"- I don't wanna talk about it. - Well, I do."
Family Guy
"So, tell me everything that happened at the dance."
Family Guy
"- Morning, cutie. - Yeah, hey."
Family Guy
"I had so much fun last night, Brian."
Family Guy
"Hey, I thought maybe we can go get some coffee later."
Family Guy
"I don't think so."
Family Guy
"Come on. Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Huh?"
Family Guy
"- Who's a good boy? - Me."
Family Guy
"- Yes, yes, who's a good boy? - I am, I'm a good boy."
Family Guy
"But, no, no. Look, I got stuff to do today. All right? Sorry."
Family Guy
"Well, we should hook up anyway. I'll bug you later."
Family Guy
"With a little encouragement,"
Family Guy
"you might get her to put her cankles behind her ears."
Family Guy
"Stewie, shut up."
Family Guy
"Who the hell is texting me at 8:00 a. M?"
Family Guy
"Wait a minute, something did happen last night."
Family Guy
"Look, it's not that big a deal, all right? We just..."
Family Guy
"We just made out a little."
Family Guy
"- Tell me about it. Go! - It didn't mean anything."
Family Guy
"I had a few too many and... It's not even worth going into."
Family Guy
"This is an even bigger jackpot"
Family Guy
"than when the Emperor figured out the formula for great Star Wars dialogue."
Family Guy
"Something, something, something, complete."
Family Guy
"Well, this is it. Our first day of Police Academy 4."
Family Guy
"Welcome to the police academy."
Family Guy
"We're gonna start by learning how to do a cavity search."
Family Guy
"Peter, you will be the police officer and Quagmire, you will be the suspect."
Family Guy
"Begin."
Family Guy
"Sir, I suspect you are in possession of drugs"
Family Guy
"and I'm gonna have to give you a full cavity search."
Family Guy
"Drop your pants."
Family Guy
"Peter, you don't have to pull your pants down."
Family Guy
"I think that's everything."
Family Guy
"You want me to double check?"
Family Guy
"I appreciate you guys volunteering for this next phase of training,"
Family Guy
"which will address how to deal with a crazed drug user."
Family Guy
"Hey, Joe, what are we supposed to do in here?"
Family Guy
"You see that coffee you're drinking?"
Family Guy
"I have, without your knowledge,"
Family Guy
"added a large amount of PCP to one of those cups of coffee."
Family Guy
"I won't say which one, but in a few moments,"
Family Guy
"one of you will completely lose your freaking mind. Good luck."
Family Guy
"This is not good."
Family Guy
"I don't feel so good."
Family Guy
"- God, it's Cleveland, it's him, it's him! - Shut up, maybe it's you."
Family Guy
"Quagmire, put your skin back on. One of us is about to freak out."
Family Guy
"- Hi, honey. - What?"
Family Guy
"I was thinking about our kiss last night."
Family Guy
"I never knew how flat and wide your tongue was."
Family Guy
"Yeah."
Family Guy
"You know, I've thought about how you stood up for me at the dance"
Family Guy
"and all the nice things you said."
Family Guy
"We should totally be boyfriend and girlfriend."
Family Guy
"Well, Meg..."
Family Guy
"You know what's strange? I think I might be gay."
Family Guy
"I saw this penis on the internet today and I thought to myself,"
Family Guy
"Well, that's... That's just fine."
Family Guy
"I'm going to the mall later."
Family Guy
"Maybe you can come and help me pick out some underwear."
Family Guy
"I don't think that's gonna be a possibility. I have plans..."
Family Guy
"With Chris. Chris and I have plans this afternoon."
Family Guy
"- We do? - Yeah, we're doing that thing."
Family Guy
"We're doing what you usually do on a Thursday afternoon."
Family Guy
"- Masturbate? - Masturbate."
Family Guy
"We're gonna masturbate together."
Family Guy
"Well, maybe back to back, but I gotta tell you, I'm not 100% on this."
Family Guy
"There's the cute prom couple."
Family Guy
"Hi, Mom. Is it cool if Brian and I go to the mall this afternoon?"
Family Guy
"- Actually, I thought I was pretty clear... - Of course, it's okay."
Family Guy
"Ever since that dance, you two have become such good friends."
Family Guy
"Who would have thought?"
Family Guy
"We're more than friends, Mom. Last night, at the dance, Brian..."
Family Guy
"Last night, we decided to be best friends. Right, Meg?"
Family Guy
"Come on, let's go to the mall. We'll get you a..."
Family Guy
"- Get you a big old pretzel. - I want a pretzel, too."
Family Guy
"Brian, I'm ready. You in or out?"
Family Guy
"- Everyone, this is Brian. - This is Brian."
Family Guy
"- He does look like Ben Affleck. - He looks just like Ben Affleck."
Family Guy
"- Is that Ben Affleck? - Hey."
Family Guy
"He's older."
Family Guy
"- He's cute. - Do you have a brother?"
Family Guy
"Make-up and stickers and ponies and myspace. Com."
Family Guy
"Brian's the first serious boyfriend I've ever had."
Family Guy
"Meg, can I talk to you for a second?"
Family Guy
"Look, this has gone a little too far. I like you, I think you're great."
Family Guy
"But what happened at the dance was... I mean, that kiss was just a mistake."
Family Guy
"Oh, no, did I do something wrong?"
Family Guy
"Was it because I didn't sniff your butt first?"
Family Guy
"What? No. I mean, yes. That's how I would know you were interested."
Family Guy
"But, Meg, the fact is you and I are friends and that's the way it needs to stay."
Family Guy
"Besides, I have a girlfriend, I'm dating Jillian."
Family Guy
"All right, Brian. I understand."
Family Guy
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