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Clips from Family Guy - Barely Legal (S05E05)

"It seems today that all you see"
Family Guy
"Is violence in movies and sex on TV"
Family Guy
"But where are those good old-fashioned values"
Family Guy
"Laugh and cry"
Family Guy
"He's a family guy"
Family Guy
"Sure, I can. I've been doing it all week."
Family Guy
"Like yesterday, I started a lovable gang of cockney pickpockets."
Family Guy
"Oh, no, there's no police here to help me!"
Family Guy
"Hey! Hey! Hey! What the hell?"
Family Guy
"What time does it start?"
Family Guy
"So, Meg..."
Family Guy
"No, I won't. I'm so fat and gross."
Family Guy
"Well, we've got a long time in this decompression chamber."
Family Guy
"Brian, I present to you your polished turd for the evening."
Family Guy
"so you're going to have to leave. But Brian can stay."
Family Guy
"But now you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror"
Family Guy
"or we can spread it out over the course of the day."
Family Guy
"Well, she seems to have taken a shine to you, Brian."
Family Guy
"Something, something, something, dark side."
Family Guy
"- We're in trouble. - All right, let's all try and relax here, right?"
Family Guy
"How the hell did all this skin get on my arm?"
Family Guy
"I know. Now stick your finger in there and twist it."
Family Guy
"Stop punching me."
Family Guy
"- You're acting like a psycho bitch. - You're acting like a psycho bitch!"
Family Guy
"When do we get to shoot some bad guys?"
Family Guy
"put him in the trunk of his car and then drive away?"
Family Guy
"I'm really having a great time tonight, Brian."
Family Guy
"Listen, Meg, I'm not gonna lie to you, here. I'm a little uncomfortable."
Family Guy
"Come on, that one doesn't even have an H in it."
Family Guy
"Yeah, Brian, you're doing the same thing that Mia Farrow did to that Chinaman"
Family Guy
"Have a seat, Meg. Soon, it'll all become clear."
Family Guy
"but, I've been around the block a few times, learned a couple things."
Family Guy
"Teenage girls are exposed to so much these days"
Family Guy
"And, in entertainment, is Annette Bening made of leather?"
Family Guy
"Lucky there's a man who positively can do"
Family Guy
"All the things that make us"
Family Guy
"And now back to Romancing the Stone."
Family Guy
"The only way they're not going to kill my sister is if we give them the stone."
Family Guy
"Well, they're going to be looking everywhere."
Family Guy
"We'll have to hide it in my chin."
Family Guy
"Uh-oh, here they come. You'd better get in there, too."
Family Guy
"and there's not a policeman in sight. I guess it's up to me."
Family Guy
"- Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker. - And I'm Diane Simmons."
Family Guy
"Our top story, Mayor West has dispatched the entire Quahog Police Force"
Family Guy
"to Cartagena, Colombia, to assist in the rescue"
Family Guy
"of fictional 1984 movie character, Elaine Wilder."
Family Guy
"More on that later."
Family Guy
"Now let's go to Ollie Williams' Cooking Corner."
Family Guy
"- What are you making, Ollie? - Eggo!"
Family Guy
"Thanks, Ollie. And now this."
Family Guy
"Lois, can you come out here for a second?"
Family Guy
"or whatever it is these things eat?"
Family Guy
"This would be a giraffe, Isaac Newton. I stole it from the zoo."
Family Guy
"What with Mayor West sending all the cops away,"
Family Guy
"everybody can do whatever they want."
Family Guy
"Peter, I don't care what Mayor West has done."
Family Guy
"All right, boys, the best targets are old, rich people."
Family Guy
"There's one now. Go get him."
Family Guy
"I hope you don't find the money strapped to my thigh."
Family Guy
"Peter, you take that thing back where it belongs immediately."
Family Guy
"All right, I guess we gotta go back to the zoo, Allison Janney."
Family Guy
"Allison Janney?"
Family Guy
"Good morning, honey. That feels really good. What..."
Family Guy
"You're not the same giraffe from last night. Get out of here!"
Family Guy
"What the hell?"
Family Guy
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"
Family Guy
"I gotta stop taking my baths during Peter's shenanigans."
Family Guy
"Hello. Oh, hey, Jillian. What's up?"
Family Guy
"Brian, are you coming over to watch Laguna Beach tonight?"
Family Guy
"10:00 Eastern and specific time."
Family Guy
"What? What did you say? Specific time?"
Family Guy
"Don't you mean Pacific time?"
Family Guy
"- Stewie, are you on the line? - Yes."
Family Guy
"- How was school? - Horrible."
Family Guy
"There's a dance Friday night and no one wants to go with me."
Family Guy
"Even my backup guy had plans."
Family Guy
"Hi, Jimmy."
Family Guy
"I heard you didn't have a date to the dance,"
Family Guy
"and I was wondering if you'd like to go with me."
Family Guy
"Hang on."
Family Guy
"I'm sure you'll find someone to go with you."
Family Guy
"I should just kill myself."
Family Guy
"- That's... Come on. - I'm gonna do it."
Family Guy
"I'm gonna kill myself 'cause no one will go with me."
Family Guy
"Meg, stop it. Come on."
Family Guy
"All right, all right, Meg, look, what if I..."
Family Guy
"What if I drove you and walked in with you or whatever?"
Family Guy
"Brian, will you go with me?"
Family Guy
"- Are you going to kill yourself if I don't? - Yeah."
Family Guy
"Well, then my hands are pretty much tied."
Family Guy
"Brian, thank you, thank you, thank you."
Family Guy
"I have to buy a new dress. All the ones I have make me look fat."
Family Guy
"The story on everyone's mind continues to be"
Family Guy
"the absence of police officers in Quahog."
Family Guy
"Sir, as a citizen, how has this affected you?"
Family Guy
"The police are gone? Oh, my God, we're finally safe!"
Family Guy
"Hey, Joe, where you been? We haven't seen you in days."
Family Guy
"Ever since Mayor West deployed the police to Cartagena,"
Family Guy
"I've been working nonstop."
Family Guy
"The only reason I didn't have to go myself"
Family Guy
"is that South America isn't wheelchair accessible."
Family Guy
"Hey, you guys, we should help Joe out. We could be cops, right, Joe?"
Family Guy
"Well, we have started an emergency training program"
Family Guy
"at the police academy,"
Family Guy
"but I'm not sure that you're cut out for the job."
Family Guy
"Come on, we'll be great cops."
Family Guy
"Besides, it's bound to go better than my deep-sea training."
Family Guy
"You guys mind if I turn on the radio?"
Family Guy
"Peter, don't!"
Family Guy
"- Nice going, jackass. - Look what you did."
Family Guy
"Hey. Hey, excuse the hell out of me"
Family Guy
"for trying to brighten your day with music, all right?"
Family Guy
"Man, we're going to need some butter or something."
Family Guy
"Brian, it is so nice of you to take Meg to this dance."
Family Guy
"It really means a lot to her."
Family Guy
"- You got any weed? - I put it in your coat pocket."
Family Guy
"Here she is."
Family Guy
"- How do I look, Brian? - You sure do, Meg."
Family Guy
"FYI, the carpet matches the drapes in color and quantity."
Family Guy
"Ever seen a blacksmith's apron?"
Family Guy
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