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Clips from Hogan's Heroes - The Flight of the Valkyrie (S01E01)

"My picture and description are everywhere."
Hogan's Heroes
"That's why you're going by plane."
Hogan's Heroes
"A plane? From England?"
Hogan's Heroes
"But where would it land?"
Hogan's Heroes
"We couldn't figure that out, so we're building one."
Hogan's Heroes
"Care to see our factory?"
Hogan's Heroes
"You are joking."
Hogan's Heroes
"Even free, it would take months,"
Hogan's Heroes
"and you are prisoners."
Hogan's Heroes
"Fewer distractions."
Hogan's Heroes
"LeBEAU: Colonel Hogan,"
Hogan's Heroes
"Kommandant Klink is looking for you."
Hogan's Heroes
"Klink? What's he want?"
Hogan's Heroes
"I don't know. It seems urgent."
Hogan's Heroes
"LeBeau, see Madame to her quarters, please."
Hogan's Heroes
"I'll make this short."
Hogan's Heroes
"Colonel..."
Hogan's Heroes
"I will be safe here?"
Hogan's Heroes
"Not if I can help it."
Hogan's Heroes
"Colonel Hogan, I have sent for you"
Hogan's Heroes
"because I want to tell you a very funny joke."
Hogan's Heroes
"A very funny joke."
Hogan's Heroes
"Look, Colonel, it's almost 9:00,"
Hogan's Heroes
"and chances are, I've heard it."
Hogan's Heroes
"You will sit there, and you will enjoy it!"
Hogan's Heroes
"Oh, boy."
Hogan's Heroes
"It seems there were these two, uh,"
Hogan's Heroes
"what you call race track touts."
Hogan's Heroes
"Now, one tout was telling the other"
Hogan's Heroes
"Yeah."
Hogan's Heroes
"Now, the tout told him to bet"
Hogan's Heroes
"on eight losers in a row."
Hogan's Heroes
"Did you meet him? the first tout asked."
Hogan's Heroes
"What do you think the second tout answered?"
Hogan's Heroes
"I could never guess."
Hogan's Heroes
"I had to lose him. He was bad luck."
Hogan's Heroes
"( laughs )"
Hogan's Heroes
"That's a real thigh- slapper, all right."
Hogan's Heroes
"Really?"
Hogan's Heroes
"Yes."
Hogan's Heroes
"Only last night an American plane"
Hogan's Heroes
"was shot down close to camp."
Hogan's Heroes
"The next morning we didn't even find an airplane."
Hogan's Heroes
"That is strange."
Hogan's Heroes
"Yesterday a German baroness disappeared,"
Hogan's Heroes
"a special friend of a Cabinet Minister."
Hogan's Heroes
"Disappeared, ha."
Hogan's Heroes
"Defected is what she did."
Hogan's Heroes
"She was sighted, headed in the direction of this camp."
Hogan's Heroes
"Now, the Gestapo are asking questions."
Hogan's Heroes
"Do I need the Gestapo asking me questions?"
Hogan's Heroes
"I am implying"
Hogan's Heroes
"Tanks disappear and end up in the recreation hall."
Hogan's Heroes
"Trains are blowing up."
Hogan's Heroes
"Out of a locked humidor, my cigars vanish."
Hogan's Heroes
"But you are bad luck."
Hogan's Heroes
"Lose me?"
Hogan's Heroes
"Oh, you mean send me home."
Hogan's Heroes
"( chuckles )"
Hogan's Heroes
"Much as I appreciate that..."
Hogan's Heroes
"You will stay right here."
Hogan's Heroes
"Langenscheidt!"
Hogan's Heroes
"Yes, Herr Kommandant?"
Hogan's Heroes
"Call in Colonel Crittendon at once."
Hogan's Heroes
"Colonel Crittendon"
Hogan's Heroes
"reporting to camp commandant as requested."
Hogan's Heroes
"Colonel Hogan, may I present"
Hogan's Heroes
"How do you do, Hogan?"
Hogan's Heroes
"Just shot down?"
Hogan's Heroes
"Months ago. I've been in Stalag 18."
Hogan's Heroes
"I guess he has about ten years on me."
Hogan's Heroes
"That makes him senior prisoner of war officer."
Hogan's Heroes
"Nice going, Klink."
Hogan's Heroes
"Know how you feel, old boy."
Hogan's Heroes
"I'll pop in on you in the morning to take over,"
Hogan's Heroes
"right after calisthenics."
Hogan's Heroes
"We don't do calisthenics."
Hogan's Heroes
"Oh?"
Hogan's Heroes
"Right after morning parade, then."
Hogan's Heroes
"Commandant."
Hogan's Heroes
"If I can't steal them honestly, I don't want them."
Hogan's Heroes
"Colonel, you can't just take this lying down."
Hogan's Heroes
"When you get the pink slip, you get the pink slip."
Hogan's Heroes
"What can I do? Hold out for a gold watch?"
Hogan's Heroes
"Well, we're going to do something about it."
Hogan's Heroes
"What?"
Hogan's Heroes
"Well, uh, we'll hold an election."
Hogan's Heroes
"That's the first time in military history."
Hogan's Heroes
"We'll hold an election."
Hogan's Heroes
"We'll get all the guys in the camp together"
Hogan's Heroes
"Or something like that."
Hogan's Heroes
"Look, why don't we all escape, huh?"
Hogan's Heroes
"That's a great idea!"
Hogan's Heroes
"We're not here to escape. There's work to be done."
Hogan's Heroes
"What, under Crittendon?"
Hogan's Heroes
"( all chattering )"
Hogan's Heroes
"You're joking."
Hogan's Heroes
"I'm not going to do that."
Hogan's Heroes
"Wait a minute."
Hogan's Heroes
"The British didn't send this Crittendon"
Hogan's Heroes
"to take Colonel Hogan's place."
Hogan's Heroes
"The French didn't send him."
Hogan's Heroes
"So, we can just ignore him, right?"
Hogan's Heroes
"( all chattering )"
Hogan's Heroes
"Wrong!"
Hogan's Heroes
"He's senior prisoner of war officer now"
Hogan's Heroes
"and he's in charge of operations."
Hogan's Heroes
"Look, everything's going to turn out just fine."
Hogan's Heroes
"( indistinct grumbling )"
Hogan's Heroes
"Morning, chaps."
Hogan's Heroes
"Hello, Colonel."
Hogan's Heroes
"Like to introduce you to my staff."
Hogan's Heroes
"Sergeant Kinch is in charge of operations."
Hogan's Heroes
"No need for that, old boy."
Hogan's Heroes
"Nothing against these fellows at all,"
Hogan's Heroes
"This is my desk?"
Hogan's Heroes
"The maid hasn't been in this morning."
Hogan's Heroes
"Jolly good."
Hogan's Heroes
"Well, let's get down to business, shall we?"
Hogan's Heroes
"I think you should know about Stalag 13."
Hogan's Heroes
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