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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Sees a Sunset! (S02E02)

"and that means you don't have to go on a bender."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's not like when you say Bloody Mary three times"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why would you say Bloody Mary to an alcoholic?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Andrea, stop, that's twice!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but you don't need alcohol to do that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"For 15 years, I did it"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I win."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I win."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Wow, you're bad at this!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Go. I win."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I can't run any farther."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I have a third nipple."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Russ, you can't worry about everyone else's problems all the time."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's turning your hair gray."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Sorry. Sorry, that was rude."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"My mother would have put me in the freezer for that one."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Can't you just live in the moment for once?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I want to see you smile."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look, I'm not making excuses for my behavior,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"except for my pets."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I loved those animals."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And I swore that if I ever found my voice,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I would dedicate my life to speaking for them,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"the voiceless,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"or the other members of Coldplay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look, Jacqueline, I get it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The doctors say I have incurable stinktongue."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But I don't care what other people think of me"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(ICE-T) I'd like to thank all of you for coming here"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"to celebrate the life of a very special victim indeed."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Who are all these people?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Is that Ice-T?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"that his genitals were stolen by some weird dentist."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The prop guy who thought Norman was a mannequin"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and locked him in a closet over Christmas."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, Hillary Clinton, here we are at IKEA."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, God, my arm's numb."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Norman Gordon may not be a household name,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and lived life without regret."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He didn't drive a fancy car"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"or have an address where he could receive mail,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but he was a success"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"because he was to his own self true,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That man was having a seizure, Jacqueline."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but either way, my sock is soaked."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"When can we do this again?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, hello, Just Around the Corner From Your Hotel."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(LAUGHING)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Knockout game! - Oh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Elana, you try."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- His head is perfect. - Wait, wait, wait, wait."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but it's probably just problems at home."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, God, they're back!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- How did they get here? - No, no."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- No, no. - Did you invite them?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, God."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay, lay down."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(RUSS SIGHS)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I was a flight attendant, so I know first aid"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and how to catch Gérard Depardieu's urine in an ice bucket."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- (GROANS) - Mm-hmm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Is this your bedroom?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, you've lost a lot of blood."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You're having trouble identifying beds properly."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'll have one of my servants call you an ambulance."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Gustav?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Call an ambulance, Gustav!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"If he figures out I'm poor, he'll know I'm a gold digger!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He's so gross!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"straight white man in the entire universe?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, God."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I didn't make him fall in love with me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And look, you just made it through the day."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hmm, okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Just one day, but it's a start."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And just knowing that someone"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"cared enough about me to do this..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I guess what I'm trying to say is,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(LAUGHING)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I was on my way to the laser light show"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"at the planetarium wearing a CamelBak full of vodka."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- You did get away with it! - I did."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Jersey strong!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Guess what."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Guess what. I'm not two different people."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm just one big mess, and you can't fix me, Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I don't care."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Because I like helping other people. - (MIMICS BUZZER)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"One more strike, and the Thompson family"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"gets a chance to steal!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, God."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Am I really gonna have to say this out loud to you?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's not your fault."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"it's not your fault!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The way I am has nothing to do with you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I guess this is how my relationship with my mom"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"stinks up my current relationships."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And until... Until... Until"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"you are just gonna continue to do the same thing"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's called a pattern."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And so is this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Watch me whip, whip ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ And watch me nae nae ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Break your legs ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Watch me whip, whip ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ And whip, whip ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ And watch me nae nae ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey, can I cook with this wine?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's already open."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That bottle's there 'cause of a leak."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why is it red?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(CELL PHONE BUZZING)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Future Andromitano residence."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This is Mikus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You'll be Tikey."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Titus, Judy Layman calling."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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