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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Sees a Sunset! (S02E02)

"Are you sick?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Mikey was sick, so I took care of him,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"even though I had an audition."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I need your help, and I deleted your phone number"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"when I was mad at you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You know, before I went into the bunker,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"people knew each other's phone numbers."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Thanks, cell phones!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Eh, not your best observation, dear."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"C-plus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Last night, Russ didn't want to have sex with me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But like you, Russ is a sexually inexperienced"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"do-gooder weirdo with the fashion sense"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"of a Canadian child."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Or you could stop trying to mack out with him."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You don't even like that guy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hold on."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What was his excuse?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Married?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We're on a school bus, Lillian?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He said he's been burned before."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I don't have time for slow."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm out of money!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Honey, if a man wants to take things slow,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"he's either getting over an infection"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You know, Dong and I..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The grown-ups are talking, sweetie."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So I have to make him genuinely fall in love with me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I've never done that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and you know when I knew they were goners?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"When my needs were more important to them"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Titus has joined the conversation."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's exactly what happened with Mikey."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He needed me to take care of him, and I did,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"even though it made no sense,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"like wearing pants in your own home."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So I need to make Russ think that I'm more important"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"than whatever he cares about."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"His work, I guess."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But if I could just get him off the phone for five minutes,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"he'd see that there's something far more interesting right in front of him!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, of course he will. You're amazing."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Have you lost weight?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"All right, enough already."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Whazzaaap?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You don't have appointment"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"to shrink that big old head."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So wide!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, I'm just playing."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It is pretty big, though."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm dressed to party hearty like an MC Skat Kat."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You know where is it a cat?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's supposed to be a real sausage fest."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's gonna be!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Get my coat."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And then come through the doors and follow me,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I can work with this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Oh, she sucks. - I know."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"She rolls total dice."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So what makes her decide to start drinking and get so cool?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The other day at lunch, she was all,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Before you know it, I'm there with the three Bs:"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You're not trolling for Polish D at all!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You just want to figure out why I start drinking"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, I'm here to party."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I can't be stopped."
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"It's not gonna work."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"She can't get through one day without drinking."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yeah, breaking stuff. (BURPS)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's you guys, right?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Just when I thought my audition couldn't get any worse,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I run into Norman Gordon."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Who's Norman Gordon?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The ghost of Titus Future."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I've seen that sad old man at every audition I've ever been to."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And the only speaking role he ever got was Corpse Emitting Gases"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's the one where Liev Schreiber plays twins, right?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and he's got nothing to show for it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Is that gonna be me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why should I keep humiliating myself at auditions"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"for parts like Off-Camera Loser and Urban Farter"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"when I'd rather be at home feeding you soup?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I do like how you do spoon airplane."
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"You don't dumb it down."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look, if you're unhappy, maybe you don't have to work."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I make good money."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yesterday I got time and a half"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"for being sick during Monday Night Football."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"at the end of the month, so..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"maybe I move in with you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Andromedon Productions."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You can't spell our name without drama if you spell it wrong."
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"How may I direct your call?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Outside bones, outside bones ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Mr. Andromedon, do you know a corpse named Norman Gordon?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Come on, Kurt. Don't lead with corpse."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Is Norman dead?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He passed away earlier today"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"during a Level One improv class."
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"but your phone number was in his personal effects."
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"we'll be throwing him in the East River this afternoon."
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"You okay?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Let's move in together."
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"Russ, hang up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ow!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That really hurt."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"is gonna be to my good friend Tom Wheeler,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"the chairman of the FCC."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Uh, well, we take swimming lessons together,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"maybe we can go rent a rowboat."
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"You think I'm ready for rowboats?"
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"Tom Wheeler and I still use floaties."
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"Good, you don't remember."
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"I'm here to stop you from drinking today."
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"- Sneak attack! - What?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"How are you so strong?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"being a chair, fighting off a reverend"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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