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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Sees a Sunset! (S02E02)

"(WITH DEEP VOICE) Uh, yes, Miss Jacqweeleen?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"about his dumb, punchable head than my own..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm falling for him."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You stupid bitch!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Holy crap!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The trick is not caring if you live or die."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"whazzaaaaap?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And I would have gotten away with it too."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Sorry."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- And I need your help. - (MIMICS BUZZER)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I care because it's my fault, okay?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm the reason your boundaries got screwed up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, brother."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Your world-famous abandonment issues."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"One Oprah style:"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You never have been."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's not your fault that people leave, dummy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Chanandler Bing!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ And whip, whip ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ And stanky leg ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Stanky leg ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Watch me nae nae ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(UPBEAT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Sure, but that's not wine."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(MOUTHING WORDS)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, no, no, no, listen."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We want to offer you the part"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"you will be violently ill with some combination"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"improperly prepared seafood, bird flu, pool feces,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and that's assuming nobody murders you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Judy, make like the ends of a doggy's legs and pause."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I mean, I can't just leave New York. I-I..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's Dionne Warwick."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Did you hear nothing Ice-T said?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Odell Beckham Jr. made last year."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"someone who can infiltrate the coasterhead community"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Girl, that bitch is in Orlando."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(UPBEAT MUSIC)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"My mother's dead!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"She's dead!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But that's Bambi."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I got off on a tangent."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You asked about my mom."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Lori-Ann Schmidt."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, she was fun."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The only hot breakfast I ever got"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"was the morning she crashed our house into a Denny's."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But the thing that really raisined my cookie"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"was her addiction."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What was it? Pills?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, more dirtbaggy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Underdeveloped ears, facial trapezoidism..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Roller coasters."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- What now? - My mom's a coasterhead."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"She's addicted to riding roller coasters."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(LAUGHS) She what?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That is dumb!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(CLEARS THROAT)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I mean, would you care tlaborade?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"O.M. gosh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Dr. Bayden, have you been day-drinking?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, this is tea."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(ICE CUBES CLATTERING)"
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"Fine, whatever. (GROANS)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm better at this when I drink."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's like playing darts or driving a Zamboni"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"or running away from a Zamboni you can't stop."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey, who breakthroughed you on that mom stuff?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Not Joggy McExercise here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"(BLOWS RASPBERRY)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And if it makes you feel better, I can still say things like,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"affected your current relationships?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look, Ahn-drea..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ugh, I'm not British."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's Ann-drea."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Exit ten!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Go, Bulldogs!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and I think we've made some really good progress today."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You're coming out with me!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, I have to work tonight."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Perfect,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"'cause you just accepted my ride."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"When did you take that?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ But females are strong as hell ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ They alive, damn it ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Unbreakable ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"you know, a fascinating transition."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"My penis infection spread to my face."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Just picking up my last paycheck."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I wish I had the courage to quit."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's just rocks, Rick."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We got plenty of rocks down here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"All that free food if you just pretend you're part of the crew?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I've been busy. (CHUCKLES)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and going to the Jim... (CLEARS THROAT)"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Tomorrow there's an open call for a musical production"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I spoke to them yesterday, and all they said was,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"someone with a letter in their name would tell me something."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Someone just put the neato in incognito!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I didn't order the car."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Russ is the man I've spent the past few weeks pursuing."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, no, no, Jerry, you push those people out of their homes,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'll push your wife's wedding ring out of my ass!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He knows someone named Jerry."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You think I don't know he's disgusting?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, you're the reason"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm with a bald pro bono property rights lawyer"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and his BlackBerry."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You tricked me into thinking I could be a better person,"
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"and now I'm completely broke."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I need that walking trust fund to put a baby in me"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"before it has a heart attack."
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"Seriously?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So you're right back where you started."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I finally have Russ to myself for a night."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We're going to his hotel room, and I'm gonna seal the deal."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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