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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Kidnaps Gretchen! (S02E02)

"Look, I get that you need a cult,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"from, I'm told, an exploded booby."
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"which is pink and stupid."
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"If we believe, there is nothing we cannot do."
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"Praise Jeepers!"
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"You can't move on from the bunker like I ha..."
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"Ugh."
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"You're gonna go to hell so bad."
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"I know, Gretchen."
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"Ow!"
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"Anybody home?"
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"He can't see me looking unfabulous."
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"You are bad."
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"I just want to get it back."
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"No one comes back."
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"I can't say that."
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"Let's make a baby!"
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"Wow."
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"It's two boys."
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"Who cares how it got here?"
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"♪ Bunny and Kitty being best friends ♪"
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"Excuse me, ma'am?"
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"Wha..."
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"I'm looking for Titus Andromedon."
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"Oh, yeah?"
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"What do you want with him?"
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"- You Italian? - Um, yeah."
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"He and I have some personal business to attend to."
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"No, if this is about what he did"
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"in that Sbarro bathroom, I understand the Sbarro family"
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"must feel deeply disrespected,"
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"It's my first gay date, lady."
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"Well, what do you know?"
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"Lillian Kaushtupper:"
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"landlord,"
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"Aquarius,"
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"Mikey Politano:"
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"uh, construction worker,"
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"Let's go surprise Titus."
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"Lillian, you cannot bring gentlemen callers in"
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"four hours early."
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"I am not yet a butterfly."
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"I'm just cocoon goo."
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"Eh, it's always cocoon goo with you."
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"Hey, I know you."
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"Remember?"
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"I was walking by your construction site,"
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"and you said you wanted to be my jeans."
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"So what happened?"
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"Did you ever get to be jeans?"
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"please grab me a towel out of the dryer."
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"Hang on. I can, uh, fix that for you."
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"Ooh, la-di-da."
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"A functioning oven."
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"Next thing you know, this tugboat... I mean building."
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"This is a normal apartment building, everybody."
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"Look, I'm sorry to bug you,"
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"but I just got a couple questions about tonight."
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"Midnight, eastern gay time, which is 3:00 a.m."
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"And if we go to a gay bar, can I get a beer?"
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"And which one of us opens doors for the other?"
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"- Do we not use doors? - Whoo."
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"You got to make like a 30-year-old single girl"
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"and settle."
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"Can you help me pick out an outfit?"
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"First of all, outfits normally pick you."
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"Basic."
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"How does a Patriots shirt not work?"
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"You need my Ex-Box."
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"by heartbroken exes, part-time lovers,"
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"Amish boys on Rumspringa, and So Ahn,"
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"a contortionist with the Korean national circus."
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"Now, which incarnation of Madonna"
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"There are wrong answers."
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"Okay, turn around."
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"Pardon my French, but le foop."
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"I knew Mikey was new, but that boy's a baby."
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"This is going to be like Beethoven making love to a baby."
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"and he's got a picture of his mom in his wallet."
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"Ooh. Now, that's what I call a MILF."
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"Don't tell us what you think it stands for."
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"- My Interesting Lady Friend! - We already know it's wrong!"
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"I'm just saying,"
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"the boys you usually go out with,"
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"Oh, a loyalty card for genital piercing."
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"And your boyfriends are so great, Lillian."
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"What's-his-name threw a hammer at me."
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"His name is Robert Durst,"
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"and he only did that 'cause he likes you."
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"Hi, Cyndee."
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"Hiya, Kimmy. It's Cyndee Pokorny."
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"Yes, Cyndee, I remember you."
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"Okay, I just electronic-mailed you"
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"a video that you've got to watch right away."
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"I'll call you from the library."
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"Okay, Cyndee, I'm on the World Wide Web."
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"Good, but watch out for porns."
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"the only cruise ship owned and operated"
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"The Great Founder took the lessons"
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"he learned as a Studio City cosmetologist"
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"he freaked out in the makeup room at Simon & Simon."
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"Cyndee, what the heck is this?"
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"Just wait. You're so impatient."
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"I remember you wanted to get out of the bunker,"
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"like, three days after you were kidnapped."
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"have learned the secrets of Cosmetology,"
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"The napkin the Founder wrote this part on got wet."
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"for the lawless safety of international waters..."
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"and enlightenment."
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"Gretchen? What the heck?"
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"my eyebrows have definition,"
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"There's a cat on the boat who's friends with a bunny."
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"That's why I'm calling."
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"No."
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"Fifteen years in that bunker,"
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"Follow some other lunatic?"
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"Innerwaves departs from the Manhattan Cruise Terminal"
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"in just 24 hours, right on time"
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"for the Founder's 800th birthday."
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"I can stop her before she leaves."
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