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Clips from Dr. Ken - Ken's Banquet Snub (S02E02)

"They're working."
Dr. Ken
"and that was before my legendary performance"
Dr. Ken
"at the legendary Laugh Factory."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, to be clear,"
Dr. Ken
"on a Tuesday at sundown."
Dr. Ken
"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?"
Dr. Ken
"Good crowd."
Dr. Ken
"Good crowd."
Dr. Ken
"You?!"
Dr. Ken
"- Mm-hmm. - Why?"
Dr. Ken
"and less desperate man's comedy."
Dr. Ken
"You know, more cerebral humor"
Dr. Ken
"and less of the rubber-faced clowning that is your trademark."
Dr. Ken
"But we were maybe scared to tell you."
Dr. Ken
"Because"
Dr. Ken
"we thought you would go crazy."
Dr. Ken
"P.S. I wanted to tell you."
Dr. Ken
"Thank you..."
Dr. Ken
"for being honest with me, but I'm fine."
Dr. Ken
"Maybe they want to give someone else a turn."
Dr. Ken
"You're the Mark Zuckerberg of hosting HMO banquets?"
Dr. Ken
"Hey, I'm the funniest person in my book club."
Dr. Ken
"Book club funny?"
Dr. Ken
"you know how much this banquet means to me."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, look."
Dr. Ken
"maybe you'd feel better if you took the high road."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, yeah. I'll consider that never."
Dr. Ken
"The low road's easier, it's faster, it's on brand."
Dr. Ken
"Ken, you've gotten a lot of validation for your comedy."
Dr. Ken
"This lame HMO banquet is beneath me now."
Dr. Ken
"I can throw Pat a bone because I am made of bones."
Dr. Ken
"You know what? I'll go get Pat a bottle of scotch"
Dr. Ken
"and say, "Congratulations, it isn't easy stealing a job"
Dr. Ken
"Ohh... I'm sort of proud of you."
Dr. Ken
"Thank you, Allison. I'm a very good person."
Dr. Ken
"standing outside the kitchen window creepy-staring at you?"
Dr. Ken
"Depends. Sometimes she takes a break to eat."
Dr. Ken
"Don't encourage her. You want to get rid of her."
Dr. Ken
"How do I do that?"
Dr. Ken
"Eric, I don't work hard all day"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, my God, is everything okay with you and Eric?"
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, why?"
Dr. Ken
"Yes, Pat, just like I told you yesterday and the day before."
Dr. Ken
"Well, relationships are volatile,"
Dr. Ken
"and I'm in charge of the plus-ones."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, whatever."
Dr. Ken
"Well, it would hardly seem appropriate"
Dr. Ken
"to bring a date to a work event where you know an ex-lover..."
Dr. Ken
"mmm!... is going to be."
Dr. Ken
"Would it, hmm?"
Dr. Ken
"Listen, I am so glad that Eric is my plus-one."
Dr. Ken
"This is easily the best relationship"
Dr. Ken
"I've been in in a long time..."
Dr. Ken
"You're leaving early, Mr. Dr. Ken."
Dr. Ken
"You get fired?"
Dr. Ken
"Super cool."
Dr. Ken
"Real people person."
Dr. Ken
"Sorry, Juan-Julio. Not fired."
Dr. Ken
"Ahh."
Dr. Ken
"Licorice store."
Dr. Ken
"Not licorice store!"
Dr. Ken
"Livermore, California."
Dr. Ken
"the good news."
Dr. Ken
"Did you park in your spot today?"
Dr. Ken
"So, your license plate says "Boyy Toyy"?"
Dr. Ken
"I guess it wasn't enough to wallow in jealousy"
Dr. Ken
"You had to take it out on my boy toy."
Dr. Ken
"It was an accident."
Dr. Ken
"Sweet, sweet Clark."
Dr. Ken
"You believe me, don't you?"
Dr. Ken
"Clark, what the...?"
Dr. Ken
"Thank God."
Dr. Ken
"Can you find the security footage?"
Dr. Ken
"You bet I might be able to."
Dr. Ken
"Okay."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, it's running kind of slow."
Dr. Ken
"Damona, can I close out these windows?"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, yeah, just keep my e-mail open."
Dr. Ken
"I wasn't yelling at Pat. I was yelling at Siri."
Dr. Ken
"It was her fault!"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, sure. Blame the woman."
Dr. Ken
"Ken, you wouldn't know the high road"
Dr. Ken
"Are you looking for neighbor girl?"
Dr. Ken
"She was here before."
Dr. Ken
"She was?"
Dr. Ken
"Dave, if you miss Emily,"
Dr. Ken
"You think so?"
Dr. Ken
"like get dressed for school the night before"
Dr. Ken
"and then sleep in your clothes."
Dr. Ken
"It's called a power wake-up."
Dr. Ken
"The point is, maybe there's more going on here."
Dr. Ken
"Maybe you like like Emily."
Dr. Ken
"Ha! Me like like her? That's crazy."
Dr. Ken
"Not normal!"
Dr. Ken
"Hey..."
Dr. Ken
"Yep, I told Eric it was black tie,"
Dr. Ken
"but he wanted to do his own thing."
Dr. Ken
"Everything is technically optional, Eric."
Dr. Ken
"Look, if you gonna be on me all night about my outfit,"
Dr. Ken
"Well, fine!"
Dr. Ken
"And while you're at it, check the buffet!"
Dr. Ken
"I like to know how to plan my plate, you yokel!"
Dr. Ken
"Like, us out with our guys."
Dr. Ken
"having a conversation with himself."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, please! That's just the way we are."
Dr. Ken
"We are just totally honest with each other."
Dr. Ken
"Nothing he does bothers me."
Dr. Ken
"And risk having a fight? No, no."
Dr. Ken
"I got that kind of stuff out."
Dr. Ken
"I really want it to work with Connor."
Dr. Ken
"Well, maybe we should just trust our instincts."
Dr. Ken
"No, thank you."
Dr. Ken
"Hey, watch it."
Dr. Ken
"with them big-ass biscuits you call feet."
Dr. Ken
"Um, thank you, Eric,"
Dr. Ken
"Never better."
Dr. Ken
"Hey."
Dr. Ken
"What are you talking about?"
Dr. Ken
"Which I gather bothers you."
Dr. Ken
"Like what?"
Dr. Ken
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