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Clips from The League (2009) - The Usual Bet (S01E01)

"Especially when they get to New Orleans. Are you texting on your phone?"
The League (2009)
"I got a little, uh, Roethlisberger update on the elbow."
The League (2009)
"- It's just kind of a knee-jerk reaction. - Is that code for something?"
The League (2009)
"- I don't know what that is. - Sorry about that."
The League (2009)
"I can assure you that Meegan is taking this very seriously."
The League (2009)
"You can't answer your phone during a mediator session."
The League (2009)
"- It was a player alert. - It doesn't matter."
The League (2009)
"This guy holds your life in his hands."
The League (2009)
"I got wit and charm and personality. I'm bringing me to the table."
The League (2009)
"Yeah, you're gonna need stuff. Lots of stuff."
The League (2009)
"- You know what, I know what this is. - What? What is this?"
The League (2009)
"You're not concerned about my well-being."
The League (2009)
"You might be concerned about our match-up."
The League (2009)
"- I'm not concerned at all. - You wanna put a wager behind it?"
The League (2009)
"Sure. What do you wanna bet?"
The League (2009)
"- The usual bet. - The usual bet."
The League (2009)
"So this is what happens when I'm not around."
The League (2009)
"- Oh, no. - Oh, boy."
The League (2009)
"- No. - What?"
The League (2009)
"- You look like Powder. - Love that movie."
The League (2009)
"What outfit lost to this one? Huh?"
The League (2009)
"What outfit did you hold up and you were like, "No"?"
The League (2009)
"This one says pedophile."
The League (2009)
"Where you been the last few weeks? You're a ghost."
The League (2009)
"- Mm-hm. - Did you call?"
The League (2009)
"- Are you seeing this? - Yeah."
The League (2009)
"We got odd behavior, avoidance of friends, change of schedule."
The League (2009)
"- Check, check, check. - Girlfriend."
The League (2009)
"- First of all, let's say I have a girlfriend. - Uh-huh."
The League (2009)
"But if I did have a girlfriend, a gentleman never tells."
The League (2009)
"- Oh, bullshit. - Bullshit."
The League (2009)
"- What? - Stop, dude."
The League (2009)
"A gentleman never tells if she's ugly."
The League (2009)
"Okay, I'm buying you guys a drink."
The League (2009)
"Taco, what are you drinking?"
The League (2009)
"- Hey. - Whoa. Jesus, where'd you come from?"
The League (2009)
"Bathroom window was open."
The League (2009)
"You know what, I'll take a glass of three-penis wine, please."
The League (2009)
"- What is, uh, that? - It's Chinese."
The League (2009)
"It's made from the penis of a dog, a snake and a deer."
The League (2009)
"- Of course. - It enhances male virility."
The League (2009)
"Your second choice?"
The League (2009)
"- Two-penis wine would be good. - I'm just gonna get you a Bud Light."
The League (2009)
"I'm a little embarrassed to say this, but I haven't been with a woman..."
The League (2009)
"...in over a week and a half. - Oh."
The League (2009)
"- Oh, my gosh. - Oh, no."
The League (2009)
"Hey, Frank, dirty, dirty, rocks with a splash of Tabasco."
The League (2009)
"Whoa, hard stuff."
The League (2009)
"- What ails you, Satan? - My wife. She's super-pissed at me."
The League (2009)
"You're lucky, it's Christmas. Get her a little gift..."
The League (2009)
"The only thing Sofia wants right now are these ridiculous Chinese figurines."
The League (2009)
"So I need to go down to Chinatown to buy them."
The League (2009)
"I do not like that place."
The League (2009)
"I'll take you. I know my way around there."
The League (2009)
"I have to pick up some three-penis wine anyway."
The League (2009)
"So we go down there, and we'll get..."
The League (2009)
"Sorry. What was the product that you wanted?"
The League (2009)
"I don't know what to do here. Kurt Warner? Peyton Manning?"
The League (2009)
"Which one do I start?"
The League (2009)
"Manning got us here. We gotta stick with him."
The League (2009)
"- I'm gonna go with Warner. - Don't."
The League (2009)
"- I'm making an executive decision. - I think you're freaking out."
The League (2009)
"- You're making an executive decision? - No. Yep."
The League (2009)
"And it is over. My decision's been made."
The League (2009)
"Stick with Manning, he's been so good to us this year."
The League (2009)
"I know he's been good, but I really have a gut instinct about Kurt Warner."
The League (2009)
"- When have my instincts led us awry? - You thought Ellie was gonna be a boy."
The League (2009)
"Even though the doctors said she was gonna be a girl."
The League (2009)
"And then she was born and you still thought she was a boy."
The League (2009)
"Nobody knows what's going on down there, it's a very confusing situation."
The League (2009)
"The vagina's got so many different areas and flaps."
The League (2009)
"It's like you never know what's gonna pop out."
The League (2009)
"You're just freaking out right now. That's all it is."
The League (2009)
"You're really doing this because this is the playoffs."
The League (2009)
"- You're just overthinking. - I'm not."
The League (2009)
"There's no thinking going on. Nothing here."
The League (2009)
"I'm thinking with my gut, like a man."
The League (2009)
"Wearing those man pants."
The League (2009)
"- Maybe just a little too snug. - Nope."
The League (2009)
"- Really? - Thirty-one, 32's."
The League (2009)
"- Thirty-four, 32's. - Okay."
The League (2009)
"- You're being a child. - I'm not being a child."
The League (2009)
"- Why are you not listening to me? - I wanna listen to myself."
The League (2009)
"Enjoy losing. We could have won, one year."
The League (2009)
"We're spending 20 minutes at Craig's, then we're out of here. Got it?"
The League (2009)
"I've got a whole system."
The League (2009)
"Back left pocket, wallet. Front right pocket, cell phone."
The League (2009)
"Front left pocket, freedom..."
The League (2009)
"...for a possible leg crossover during conversation."
The League (2009)
"I had no idea how complex man pants actually were."
The League (2009)
"- I'm not gonna be your lip-gloss Sherpa. - Fine."
The League (2009)
"- Carry your own shit. - I will hold my lip gloss. Put in Manning."
The League (2009)
"- This is my team, and my... - Hey."
The League (2009)
"- Hey. - Mr. and Mrs. Bickerson."
The League (2009)
"- Hey. Hi. - Merry Christmas."
The League (2009)
"- Pete. How are you? - Happy holidays."
The League (2009)
"- No. - Mm-mm. We're good."
The League (2009)
"- Anybody seen Craig around? - No. Just got here."
The League (2009)
"All right, I'm gonna go find him..."
The League (2009)
"And then I am out. You should join me."
The League (2009)
"- We'll be right behind you. - Don't dally."
The League (2009)
"- Could we get out of here now? - I'm doing you a favor."
The League (2009)
"Otherwise we just go, we watch the game and your entire chances..."
The League (2009)
"...of winning the playoffs go down the drain."
The League (2009)
"You're evil."
The League (2009)
"Wow. What do you keep in place of your soul?"
The League (2009)
"Maybe you should put your lip gloss there."
The League (2009)
"Bryce."
The League (2009)
"- Uh, hello. - Mr. Eckhart."
The League (2009)
"Nice to see you."
The League (2009)
"No. Let's not let it be weird."
The League (2009)
"- This is Bryce at a party. - Yeah."
The League (2009)
"- We're not in the mediation room. - Great."
The League (2009)
"- How do you guys know each other? - We are in a soup group together."
The League (2009)
"- Soup group. - You know what that is?"
The League (2009)
"It's actually an idea from Oprah's magazine."
The League (2009)
"We forage, uh, in public places and, like, city parks..."
The League (2009)
"...and forest preserves and along the lakeshore..."
The League (2009)
"...and we make soups out of only found items."
The League (2009)
"- It wasn't a joke. - Uh, it's not a joke?"
The League (2009)
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