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Clips from Modern Family - Hawaii (S01E01)

"Claire, consider this a grand gesture of my love."
Modern Family
"[Laughing] What are you-"
Modern Family
"Oh, my God! Oh!"
Modern Family
"What did you do? [Gasping] Phil, what are you thinking?"
Modern Family
"That is an expensive cell phone."
Modern Family
"It's just the beginning. Buckle your seat belt, lady. You're being wooed."
Modern Family
"In nature, fathers are known to eat their young."
Modern Family
"Is it because they're delicious? No."
Modern Family
"It's because they want to give their female-"
Modern Family
"bear, giraffe, what have you- the honeymoon they never had."
Modern Family
"Just to be clear, I'm not condoning eating your kids,"
Modern Family
"but I sure as heck know why giraffes do it."
Modern Family
"What?"
Modern Family
"[Door Opens]"
Modern Family
"- Come on, sleepy! - Ay, Jay!"
Modern Family
"Come on, honey! Get out of bed! I just booked us on an outrigger."
Modern Family
"But it is your birthday. You don't want to sleep in? Come here."
Modern Family
"No, no, I just came from the gym. Guess how much I benched."
Modern Family
"- I don't know. 500 pounds? - 500 pounds?"
Modern Family
"- What am I, a forklift? - [Groans]"
Modern Family
"To tell you the truth, that call from my brother scared the hell out of me."
Modern Family
"I decided to get in better shape quick."
Modern Family
"Didn't want to end up like my old man."
Modern Family
"Although he did die doing what he loved-"
Modern Family
"refusing service to hippies who came into his store."
Modern Family
"Manny is the worst roommate ever. [Groans]"
Modern Family
"Everything he finds, he folds."
Modern Family
"Last night we had a fire drill. Mm-hmm."
Modern Family
"Not the hotel. Just us."
Modern Family
"Hi, guys. Hey."
Modern Family
"Hey!"
Modern Family
"Well, it is a big one- the lavender ranch,"
Modern Family
"where they grow 45 different varieties of lavender. Forty-five."
Modern Family
"Hear that, kids? Forty-five different varieties."
Modern Family
"Yeah, I can't sell that. Go with God."
Modern Family
"[Cameron] When Mitchell and I first met,"
Modern Family
"I may have exaggerated my interest in adventurous travel..."
Modern Family
"by implying that I had any."
Modern Family
"Side note: We're very good friends with a couple named Lewis and Clark."
Modern Family
"Clark bought a big, sparkly belt in New Orleans that he calls his Louisiana Purchase."
Modern Family
"Mom, Haley keeps stealing my iPod."
Modern Family
"All my music is on my phone. What else am I supposed to do?"
Modern Family
"Manny watches the news. You guys don't even watch the news."
Modern Family
"Aloha. Hi. Sorry, folks. This pool is for adults only."
Modern Family
"What? Trust me. Just keep walking."
Modern Family
"Wait! Where are you guys going?"
Modern Family
"Guys?"
Modern Family
"What just happened?"
Modern Family
"Ooh, so we can drink lavender tea while eating lavender scones."
Modern Family
"Oh, neat! So, is this an all-day thing or-"
Modern Family
"Oh, no. I know what you're thinking, Cam."
Modern Family
"Don't worry. We'll still have time for the whaling village."
Modern Family
"Oh. Good. So-"
Modern Family
"- I can't. - What?"
Modern Family
"I don't want to go. I know I said I'm not a stay-by-the-pool type of guy,"
Modern Family
"but I really am, Mitchell. What are you saying?"
Modern Family
"I'm saying that I like adventure, but not every minute of every day."
Modern Family
"Can you just go by yourself? But... the lavender ranch-"
Modern Family
"It's- It's something two men are meant to do together."
Modern Family
"- On or off, folks? - Well, I'm on."
Modern Family
"I'm off."
Modern Family
"[Door Closes]"
Modern Family
"Think about what you're missing, Cam."
Modern Family
"It's an entire ranch full of lavender."
Modern Family
"Hey, you little monkey!"
Modern Family
"[Screams] No standing around! There you go!"
Modern Family
"Here comes another one! There you go!"
Modern Family
"I thought you were one of ours!"
Modern Family
"You're gonna hurt somebody- like you!"
Modern Family
"- Don't get too comfortable. I reserved us a tennis court. - Yay."
Modern Family
"I thought that one of the advantages of marrying an older guy..."
Modern Family
"was that I was going to be able to relax."
Modern Family
"But all this swimming and running and rowing-"
Modern Family
"It's just like how some of my relatives got into this country."
Modern Family
"[Phil] You know- [Claire] Mmm."
Modern Family
"You look prettier now than the day we got married. Oh, honey."
Modern Family
"And you are even more handsome. [Chuckles]"
Modern Family
"You're nice. I have always been nice."
Modern Family
"I've always been funny."
Modern Family
"Well- [Laughs]"
Modern Family
"[Haley] Mom! Dad!"
Modern Family
"Ignore her. That could be anyone. Mmm."
Modern Family
"Phil and Claire Dunphy?"
Modern Family
"Yes, Haley, honey? What is it?"
Modern Family
"I'm gonna go get some shaved ice at the hotel next door with some kids."
Modern Family
"- What kids? - Just some kids I met at the pool."
Modern Family
"Okay. Um- I should go with her and- Claire, no."
Modern Family
"You have to learn to let go."
Modern Family
"Turning a family vacation into a honeymoon takes commitment."
Modern Family
"Hello!"
Modern Family
"I should at least meet them. I- No."
Modern Family
"That is not eye of the tiger."
Modern Family
"[Mouths Words, Inhales]"
Modern Family
"All right, Haley, honey, go and have fun,"
Modern Family
"but don't get in anybody's car..."
Modern Family
"Thank you! Okay!"
Modern Family
"Bye, honey! All right!"
Modern Family
"That feels weird and good all at once."
Modern Family
"I know. I was leaning up against that nozzle a minute ago."
Modern Family
"- Hey. - Hey, you're back. How was it?"
Modern Family
"You know who else was there? Really? Who?"
Modern Family
"- Elton John. - No-"
Modern Family
"at their lavender piano and played "Tiny Dancer.""
Modern Family
"No, that didn't really happen. I'm just..."
Modern Family
"trying to get back at you for bailing on me."
Modern Family
"I'm sorry. If it means anything, we've been relaxing here doing nothing."
Modern Family
"Maybe you can join us tomorrow. No, I can't- I just don't-"
Modern Family
"I don't find relaxing that relaxing."
Modern Family
"I understand. You are who you are."
Modern Family
"Leilani. Yes."
Modern Family
"It always is. Kipu!"
Modern Family
"I mean, vacation with my mom and dad was them sitting around like statues..."
Modern Family
"when, you know, the only thing that me and Claire could do for excitement was-"
Modern Family
"You poor thing. Sue? Yes."
Modern Family
"I want to go out and meet the locals."
Modern Family
"I want to immerse myself in the culture, you know?"
Modern Family
"I don't want to sloth around- Ah!"
Modern Family
"Sweet Lady Gaga, that is good. [Chuckles]"
Modern Family
"[Sighing]"
Modern Family
"Oh, thank you."
Modern Family
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